Man, I love Tommy Lasorda, man...
I recently read on the site Twitter, or now "X", news reports that the famous hollywoodian actor Robert De Niro, possibly Hollywood's greatest actor, is set to portray Tommy Lasorda in an upcoming biopic. Younger generations may not be familiar with this name, Robert De Niro may be only known to them from The Irishman, which didn't get glowing reviews, but to older generations he is considered a complete icon and legend in the acting world.
I find this news report to be interesting to say the least.
I get most of my news from Twitter... one thing I like about it, I noticed, that the accounts you follow are listed chronologically as you clicked to follow them. If I scroll down to the bottom of the list of accounts I follow on Twitter (or "X")... the first five that I followed... the first five things I wanted to stay abreast of in our fast-paced information-oriented world was... The Montreal Expos, Gilbert Gottfried, The Iron Sheik, Lester "Beetlejuice" Green... and Tommy Lasorda.
I am starting to notice that I do not use social media like others do, I'm sure most people follow their preferred news agency, political party, tv show actors, and things of that nature. The first five people, I felt back in 2009, were necessary to keep up-to-date on in our tangled media landscape, were a defunct MLB franchise, a famed comedian and star of Disney's hit film Aladdin, an angry retired Iranian professional wrestler, Beetlejuice... and long-time Los Angeles Dodgers head coach... Tommy Lasorda.
It's a bit sad that the only one still alive out of these five is Beetlejuice. The others have all passed on since 2009...
If I search this website, Writings on Subjects, I think I have mentioned Tommy Lasorda before. I must have...
He, and his book, are referenced in this article:
Punchin' Up some Scripts (May, 2015)
(Warning: Swearing)
I reference statements from Tommy Lasorda's book in this article, specifically, when Tommy Lasorda claimed to have helicopter-suplexed a man in Dominican Winter Ball. Yes, Tommy Lasorda's book has some colorful parts in it... and a 5 foot 10 pudgy man helicopter-suplexing people in Dominican Winter Ball is only but just the tip of the iceberg.
As mentioned above one of the most memorable parts is definitely the part where he claims to have helicopter-suplexed a batter in the Dominican. I have since seen other works also refer to this or something close to this. I think, but I'd have to check, but I think it is corroborated in Felipe Alou's book. It seems Lasorda may have been, at times, a little out from control down in the Dominican.
Actually, the biggest memory I have from reading this is something much less sensational and far more sentimental. I recall in this book, Tommy saying that when he first started to try out to be a pitcher in the big leagues, he was very close to giving up very early on. He claims it was so cold at nights in the hotels he was staying at that he was just about to throw in the towel and quit. He then goes on to say that a family member (I think) sent him a common electric space heater, that he could plug in a stay warm with during those cold and lonely nights away from home, as he tried to break into the big leagues as a pitcher. To me, this was the most memorable take-away from Tommy's book all those years ago reading it... it was that... a common everyday electric space heater might be the reason Tommy Lasorda became a national icon. If he didn't have a space heater he would not have made it. He would have went back home and lived a mundane and unfamous life without... that space heater.
As silly as this will sound I'm gonna say it... every time I see a space heater... I think of Tommy Lasorda.
That poor cold lonely young Tommy Lasorda suffering in cheap motel rooms, harsh spring training camps, and Dominican winter leagues... wanting so badly to give up and go home... shivering like a scared child every single night as he toiled in the minors, Vero Beach, or even Panama... and one fine day... a benevolent soul sends him a small electric space heater to plug in on those lonely nights and heat his small room. He wouldn't have made it without that space heater.
Wow, think about that.
That article I linked to above, that I penned in 2015, obviously as warned, contains swearing and obscene language. Tommy Lasorda and swearing, also, go hand-in-hand so be forewarned. That's something the producers, director, actors, and writers of the hopefully upcoming De Niro picture will have to accept and work with to make a believable Lasorda film. I'm sure Robert has no qualms with swearing... and I'm sure he's far more than capable of excelling in that art form... which to many old baseball coaches like Tommy and Earl Weaver and others... cursing was an actual art form. It was an art.
What I'm getting at is the Bevacqua incident, which many readers probably have figured out already, but some Lasorda laymans may have not. Tommy Lasorda's most famous curse-fueled post-game comments involved Kurt Bevacqua... let's take a listen shall we gang?
"I Guaran-fucking-tee you this..."
-Tommy Lasorda concerning Kurt Bevacqua (1982)
Linguistically speaking, getting curse words in between single words is the greatest thing. It adds emphasis to the statement and makes an already decent-enough-word sound much better. For instance, an example of this you'd find in real life... if a used car salesman were to tell you they guarantee you they have a specific model of car on the lot... they probably don't... but... if that same used car salesman were to tell you that they guaran-FUCKING-tee you that they have that model of car on the lot... they very likely do.
Thinking about it...
A Tommy Lasorda movie with Robert De Niro as Tommy Lasorda... can't fail. It can't. The director should just say... "look, Robert, sorry, I mean Mr. De Niro... put on this Dodgers cap... walk up to the camera and cut insults on Kurt Ba-fucking-vacqua for ten minues and we'll edit together the best ones... put it in the trailer... and we'll move millions of copies of this!"
They can move this product like hot cakes!
Wait, it can't be that easy. I'm sure Robert De Niro is a method actor who's adept at the Stanislavski acting method. You can't just tell him to walk up to a camera in a Dodgers cap and start insulting Kurt Bevacqua... he would need to get into character... he'd need more input and directing... before the shot... they'd probably have to get Mr. De Niro an old Kurt Bevcaqua baseball card.
Robert would, naturally, have to stare at a Kurt Bevacqua baseball card for hours in his trailer trying to feel how Tommy Lasorda felt about Kurt Bevacqua to truly get the emotions correct. It wouldn't take long. I'm looking at Kurt Bevacqua right now to the right in a baseball card and am already disliking him. Nobody would throw, purposely, at you, Kurt.
Come on, Kurt Bevacqua, give us a break.
There was a King of the Hill episode with Kurt Bevacqua, wasn't there? I remember Mike Judge doing the Hank Hill voice and repeatedly saying, Kurt Bevacqua.
Anyways, something I just noticed about the title I gave that 2015 article I wrote, Punchin' Up some Scripts, is a reference and joke to something, that now a days, nobody probably remembers or knows about anymore. As a mid-article aside, would you want to know what it is a reference to, that title? No? Okay, well, whatever, I'm gonna say it anyways.
When Jackie Martling left the Howard Stern radio show in 2001, at the apex of its popularity, people told Jackie he was insane to do that. They asked him what he was going to do after leaving the Howard Stern show at the height of its golden age of popularity... and Jackie... in all his wisdom... said he was going to be a screen writer... that he was going off to Hollywood... to... punch up some scripts.
Yes, the intrepid Jackie, left the Howard Stern radio show to go to Hollywood and sit in front of a keyboard or type writer... and punch up some scripts. In retrospect, it's funny, because... as everyone told him leaving would be a mistake... how many scripts do you think Jackie ended up punching up? None.
Jackie Martling punched up not a single script...
That title in that 2015 article was a reference to the parable of the ill-fated career of Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling.
Arlight, so, let's get back on track here... I think Robert De Niro as Tommy Lasorda in a smash-hit Hollywood movie could sell like hot cakes just like Lasorda's book did! I have Tommy's book in front of me, right now, and the tag-line on the cover to sell the book to people perusing in bookstores back when it was out says... "With 16 pages of exciting Lasorda photos!"
The world has changed a lot since the days of books and bookstores, has it not? In 1985, it was considered absolutely cool that a book would have SIXTEEN pages of photographs of Tommy Lasorda. My gosh, sixteen pages of pictures of Tommy Lasorda... who could have possibly turned that down? There's one of him hugging Frank Sinatra, even. Italian people love that guy.
I doubt many people were let-down with the Tommy Lasorda book in 1985. Great stories and photos. I have a good feeling about the Robert De Niro movie too! It's gonna be good I bet! No one's gonna be let down by the upcoming Tommy Lasorda movie, in my humblest opinion!
Robert De Niro needs to bounce back after The Irishman... he needs a character he can really sink his teeth into and Tommy Lasorda is a great character! I am wishing Robert De Niro luck on his next project!
"I am the Irishman
raised in the hills of Ireland
I am the Irishman"
-Nick Lutsko