Bees

Everybody these days is talking about bees all the time. Everything is "bees this" and then "bees that" everybody is up in the club talking bees like there's no tomorrow. Are they going extinct? Can we live without bees? Will they sting us?

I've been readin' so much about bees these last few weeks, I better commit my thoughts on Bees to text before I forget all the shit I read about those little stingy bastards.

The sections of this aritcle will be the following:

1. What are Bees?
2. My experiences in my lifetime with Bees
3. Are Bees going extinct?
4. Can we live without the Bees?

Okay, let's go.

What are Bees?

Closest-packed Hexagonal Structure

Bees are an insect society with a hierarchy. There's a Queen bee and then there's worker bees. Bees deal a lot in flowers and dig pollen. They carry pollen around on themselves and pollinate flowers. Flowers need pollen to reproduce and bees buzzin' around going from flower to flower pollinates them up good.

Many fruit bearing trees and vegetables rely on pollination to produce edible foodstuffs for humans. So we should be thankful that bees buzz around helping flowers mate and make edible products for us to consume.

Bees also hang out in cool Hives. These hives are serieses of closest-packed hexagons which in tandem with each other create literal domes where they habitat themselves. Bees don't have mathematic or geometric axioms to draw from...they just create these hexagonal dome-like structures from instinct which is pretty cool actually. Humans deal mostly in squares and cubes when building structures and rarely build with the same architectural ingenuity as Bees do. Their structures are brilliant designs and Bees just make them by instinct alone...they've never read a math book, geometry book, or architect book....they just do the do. I respect that shit a lot.

In these hives they produce a sugar-substance known as honey...humans love this shit too. Lots of bee keepers who have hives harvest the bee sugar to sell it.

I see a lot of Naturo-Bozo-Clowns saying honey is super healthy compared to table sugar...but they are retarded. For every 100 grams of honey there's 82 grams of sugar in it. People are like "but it's natural sugar tho!" and those people are mentally crippled of any intelligence and should go fuck themselves. I hate people who think honey is a healthy alternative to sugar...it's got 82 grams of sugar per 100 grams! Can you fuckers fucking read!? What the fuck?

Bees have a natural defense spear on their ass that sting the fuck outta you too.

Bottom line on these spear-assed disco-sadistic suckers: They are great architects, who help flowers mate, and their goop can be eaten because it's sweet and tasty.


My Experiences with Bees

I'm not scared of these little sons-of-bitches. I respect the shit out of the mother fuckers and their closest-packed hexagonal dome-like structures yet if these whores try to sting me in the face or in the nose or in the ass...they are gonna get fucked up hard-core.

I don't really care about getting stunged, it's not like I'm allergic but if they come near me looking like they wanna sting me up the nose...I pull karate-kid moves on them...and smush them between my index/middle finger and thumb. Sometimes they sting my thumb on the way out but fuck them for fucking with me, man.

Get that thing away from me you dumb bee!

If they just flying around and chilling then fine but if they start buzzing around and trying to sting me then all bets are off, you Bees. I 'aint playing'...I 'aint even playin'.

I never clap to kill 'em just chopstick 'em with my index-middle and thumb fingers because it looks and feels cooler.

Other than the dumb ones...I love and respect the Bees. Most Bees are helpful and respectful members of society...but the ones who go around flailing that ass-spear like it's a god-damn switch-blade can honestly go eat shit and die.



Are Bees Going Extinct?

With climate temperatures changing, possibly some pesticides, and viral infections...many speculate that Bees are going extinct.

People who study bees are actually finding that their numbers are not exactly dropping. It was just one study which didn't take into account new members being born in the hives that fed erroneous data into a lot of articles written about bees these days. The lifespan of a Bee is 6 month to 2 years on average....so yeah...if the guy tagged a bunch of bees and they all died then yes the numbers would appear to go down. You have to measure the population of the Hive and not the Bees individually because their life spans are not long enough to go the individual route. Babies are born in the Hives to replace the Bees that die...so most studies are not showing a decline in Bees populations....but only the dumb one that didn't count baby bees born in the Hives.

The three factors that can kill bees should be taken seriously though. Altering temperatures seems to always have an impact on animal and insect life. Secondly, pesticides can kill bees....and thirdly when Hivers take their hives to California for the big pollination season viruses can spread. All over the North America people fly their bee hives to California for the pollination season for big bucks and yes viruses do spread at these big pollination parties.

As of this moment, Bees seem to be okay. If temperatures alter big time, a new pesticide isn't bee friendly, or a viral infection takes hold big-time then the bees will be in for trouble but data for now shows that Bees are pretty much okay.

Conspiracy theorists and certain more Naturo-Bozo themed sites seem to think not only are Bees going extinct but they will take us down with them. Well, no....not exactly, or well, not at all really....


Can We Live Without The Bees?

Conspiracy and "Natural" themed sites are predicting apocalypse for a Bee-less future....yet is that true? Yes bees do pollinate flowers and some flowers do produce fruit. Does that mean without Bees that we couldn't eat? No it doesn't.

List: What foods are pollinated by Bees

In that list we see that many of these crops are in the "cash crop" domain and not the sustenance domain. Rice is not in that list and rice is the foodstuff which feeds the most people on earth on this moment.

Even if Bees did go extinct from climate change, a mass virus, or a wickedly negligent pesticide...would we lose apples n' walnuts and other foods for ever and ever? No, we wouldn't.

China for instance doesn't pollinate with bees...they pollinate their flowers by hand. Similar to what this guy is doing, Observe:

You can take a q-tip or tooth brush and pollinate flowers no problem. Not to be rude to bees, I love and respect those honey-making geodesic dome makin' bastards, but they are actually pretty bad at pollination. They do it by accident mainly when they go from flower to flower...it's not like they have a memo from humans telling them which flowers to pollinate. Humans on the other hand know exactly which flowers they want to pollinate and they do it. This actually creates jobs for people and leads to HIGHER crop yields.

Why? Because it turns out humans are better at pollinating then those jabroni Bees are at it. Go figure....it's 100% true though.

Conclusion

So are Bees going extinct? No, climate change is their biggest threat BY FAR and it is possible for climate change to alter bees lifestyle to the point of destruction...but even in that worst case scenario apples and other foods would NOT go extinct with them due to humans being able to pollinate crops at better efficiency than Bees can anyway.

Bees are very cool, they are great at building things, making sweet goop to eat, and helping flowers bloom....but let's not go over-board with these Bee-Spiracies okay?

Death of Bees ≠ Death of Humans

Also as it stands right now, Bee populations are not dropping as many people seem to be claiming. In fact most studies claim to show Bees population increasing.

Ok, that's enough about Bees.