Re-Visting QPE

Back in 2011, I composed a silly essay called "The Science Behind Why Bad Movies are Good"...

You can read that here: (http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2011/09/science-behind-why-bad-movies-are-good.html)

The QPE stat tried to derive the enjoyability level of a film by the simple metric of Quality - Pretentiousness = Enjoyability. It's a silly essay but I was dead serious about that algorithm and I still am dead serious about that movie-rating metric.

O-K, I am going to present a new graph now to try and further understand why Bad Movies are Good. I call this the Hooked-U graph, observe it, and then read my rationalizations behind it below.

The "Hooked U" Diagram

The X-Axis is how STUPID a movie is and the Y-axis is how GOOD a movie is. As you'll notice the non-stupid movies are good and then as the STUPIDNESS increases the GOODNESS gradually is reduced...yet wait....it seems as a film gets very stupid the GOODNESS starts to Re-Increase. But how? But why?

The following numbers represent the following films on the graph:

1. Citizen Kane
2. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
3. Street Fighter: The Movie (Starring Raul Julia as M.Bison)
4. Dolemite: The Human Tornado
5. ? Theoretical Greatest Movie of All Time ?

Do the plotting of the 5 example movies help you to understand? Basically a movie is good until it gets stupid....BUT....if it gets VERY VERY VERY STUPID....then it starts to rule. Going from left to right on the graph: Citizen Kane is a great film and isn't stupid, Transformers 2 sucks and is stupid, Raul Julia's masterpiece Street Fighter: The Movie, as you can see, is starting to get so stupid that it's actually kind of cool....then Human Tornado, as you can plainly see, is a better movie than Citizen Kane....and then finally comes the mysterious "5!".

The fish-hook at the end of the U is the legendary fish-hook which theoretically represents the greatest movie of all time. This is only theoretical and no movie has EVER claimed the top pinnacle of the fish hook which extends off the U-graph.

The fish hook pinnacle was thought to be only theoretical....but.........Is it really just an unachievable benchmark?

....Or is there someone out there who can make a movie so Cool that it hooks onto the 5-slot fish hook on that U-Graph?


Girl, We Need Some Action!

Dominos falling,
Riots in the streets,
baby this time there's no retreat,
there's no surrender

A devil is rising,
a shadow from the past,
feeding the flames,
the fire on the edge of fury

Out of time,
running in and out of time,
hear the ticking on the countdown clock tonight

Girl we need some, Girl we need some

Action, if we gonna make it like a true survivor
We need some action,
if we wanna take our love away from here
We need a - living passion,
to believe in, burning hearts and a brand new feeling

Calling from the ashes
The phoenix rises again
Fighting for life, for good,
For all that we believe in

Girl we need some, Girl we need some

Action, if we gonna make it like a true survivor
We need some action,
if we wanna take our love away from here
We need a - living passion,
to believe in, burning hearts and a brand new feeling

The hero stands alone
When all is said and done
The enemies are falling one by one
 
Out of time,
running in and out of time,
hear the ticking on the countdown clock tonight

Girl we need some, Girl we need some

Actiiiiioooooooooooooooooooooooon!

Action!

Action, if we gonna make it like a true survivor
We need some action,
if we wanna take our love away from here
We need a - living passion,
to believe in, burning hearts and a brand new feeling

if we gonna make it like a true survivor...

YEAAAAAAAAH!

Kung Fury: The Chosen One?

Everyone in movie circles knows the hook-on-the-u five-slot is just a myth, nothing more, nothing less. People at the American Film Institute have even literally confirmed that the 5-slot on the U-Graph is just a bench mark that is not actually achievable and it just exists to help young film makers aspire for an unattainable greatness to keep people motivated to seek a career in the arts.

Yeah fucking right!

Everyone in "movie circles" sucks bums and the AFI is stupid n' dumb. The 5-slot is attainable...and you know why.....?

.....Because some Swedish guy just attained it....THAT'S WHY! 

YES! YES! YES! YES! YEEEEEEES! YEAAAAAH!

Kung Fury is the King of Movies as it sits on the absolute pinnacle of the hook on the U in the Hooked-U graph looking down at other movies and wondering why they suck so much....there's no IFS ANDS ORS BUTS OR ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

The Greatest Movie of All Time isn't a myth anymore...it's a reality...so get fucking used to it.

Conclusion

YES!

YES!


I WANT A LIVING PASSION 2 BELIEVE IN!
I WANNA BRAND NEW FEEEEELIN' !!!!!