A back-search of my posts shows I wrote about Beavis and Butthead, a show I am a great fan of, as early as 2011... seems some of the first posts in this site were actually about Beavis and Butthead...
1. https://www.writingsonsubjects.com/2011/03/dear-carl-sagan-who-art-in-somewheres_52.html
(I wrote this after reading a Carl Sagan book and getting mad he was dissing my homies... there used to be a lot of links to this article actually... people liked to know this tid-bit of information... I still see this reference pop up online from time to time).
This article also sort of shows how much I've improved at writing since 2011... back then five paragraphs sandwiched in between 3 photos was what I considered an article. Now I can write way more words than that... like, way more.
2. https://www.writingsonsubjects.com/2011/10/beavis-and-butthead-are-back_68.html
This one is a more straight forward essay also from 2011.
Alright, so aside from brief mentions here-and-there over the last... fourteen years... I have not written an essay about Beavis and Butthead which means an essay about Beavis and Butthead is long overdue.
I've been watching the new season of the show lately and it's pretty good... I hope new generations of people are getting into the dynamic duo and enjoying their antics.
Alright, fellow Beavis and Butthead fans... what is my fan theory you ask? Well, it's one that may shock, dismay, and even horribly sadden many 90s chicks... and that's... hold on now... buckle up 90s chicks... my theory is that...
Daria is dead.
Yes, the titular character of her very-own spin-off show that a generation of teenage women in the late-90s watched... is deceased. I truly believe that Daria Morgendorffer, who's whereabouts on the new Beavis and Butthead episodes are unknown... is presently confirmed to be deceased.
My theory breaks down into a few components:
1. Beavis clearly states in a 2011 episode of Beavis and Butthead... that "Daria killed herself."
(See: "Drones", 2011, the one where they mistakenly think flying drone missiles for the U.S. army is actually Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and much hyjinx ensues.)
2. Daria's 1997 spin-off show is a different animation style which suggests to me... it's only a bizarre fever-dream being had by Daria. She is probably addicted to anti-depressant pills and is all wonked-out on pharmaceuticals or something of that nature.
The craziest part of this wild fantasy that is playing out in her mind is that this blunt annoying woman... actually has friends which makes no sense what-so-ever. Daria is so annoying, not attractive, and dumb... it is not believable, at all, that all these hip people, that appear on her show, would want to be around her for any reason. It makes no sense. She sucks... she sucks and she's really stupid.
3. People will counter that she makes two cameos in the new Beavis and Butthead shows in the 21st century... but these are not canon. In their second smash hit film "Beavis and Butthead do the Universe" she makes a cameo in the courtroom... and in a more recent episode she appears as an alien god of some sort during another courtroom like scene.
It should be known that when Beavis and Butthead came back for the second time in 2022, the program "Rick and Morty" was the most popular cartoon show of the era. Obviously they had to compete with this show and added parody elements from "Rick and Morty" a futuristic show with multiple universes and timelines. There are presently multiple timelines in Beavis and Butthead... some shows they are teenagers, some shows they are 40 years old (I like these a lot), and in some rare shows they are smart future space guys who have ray guns and can surf the multi-verse... or something.
Look guys, Do the Universe... is NOT, repeat NOT, canon! Many a fantastical thing happen in this! It is suggested Beavis even scored with an evil astronaut chick in this film... it is a very whacky movie... it is whacky and not to be taken seriously, mmm-kay?
Daria's cameos are only in the alternate universe that smart Beavis and smart Butthead created when they began time-travelling and phase-distorting through the unlimited multi-verses in their Rickian and Mortian modern universe.
Therefore, this is not a good enough defense against my theory that Daria's dead. Her cameos in the movie and one show... is like when you watch Rick and Morty and stupid shit is happening and no one understands it... multi-verses, space guns... and bullshit like that.
My theory now basically hinges on whether or not Beavis is lying or mistaken when he stated that Daria killed herself. Butthead counters that she did not in fact do that but "just moved away"... but who's to be believed? Butthead always contradicts what Beavis says. N'est ce pas? Butthead telling Beavis he is wrong about something is par for the course... he always does that just to be antagonistic to Beavis. In fact, Butthead telling him he's wrong... strengthens Beavis's initial statement as being correct.
My whole theory hinges on Beavis's statement in "Drones" and I personally... believe Beavis. He wouldn't lie to us.
All things considered...
1. Beavis clearly stated she killed herself and that's why she's no longer living in Highland.
CONFIRMED.
2. Daria's 1997 TV show which was beloved by a generation of wannabe hipster chicks... is only a fever-dream she had while lying in her bed. The animation is nothing like what her life used to look like in Highland which suggests it is nothing more than a bizarre dream playing out in her mind.
The coup-de-grace of my theory is that in this show Daria is always surrounded by hip, cool, and socially-normalized people... which is not possible to believe. Daria is boring, stupid, and the most polite way to describe her looks is probably homely. How is a person like this surrounded by hip n' cool friends all the time? It's ridiculous. This is a dream she is having... possibly as she is over-dosing on legally-obtained pharmaceutical concoctions in her bedroom. It is the only explanation.
CONFIRMED.
3. The cameos she's made are easily explained away as being part of the more Rick and Morty-esque influences the Beavis and Butthead show has taken on since it's second return to the lime-light in 2022. In these sci-fi free-for-alls where a smart version of Beavis and Butthead from 10 million years in the future are opening worm-holes, black-holes, and creating infinite versions of themselves... nothing is to be taken as canon... everything is just sci-fi mumbo-jumbo including Daria's appearances.
CONFIRMED.
I have personally stamped a "CONFIRMED" on all three of my points... which makes them confirmed.
It is confirmed now, so sorry to all those women who grew up in the 90s and looked-up to Daria as their hipster wunder-kind... who despite making no effort to be sociable and friendly somehow made tons of friends by not-caring, being boring, and saying "Whatever" a lot...
Sorry to say but... it's official...
...Daria is dead.
Diarrhea Morgendorffer
(1993 - 2011)
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