Rock the Hall: The Final Essay

I don't know if I have any regular readers or repeat readers here ... but if by chance I do, you might know that every single year at the year's end I do a "Tim Raines for Hall of Fame" article.

Previous Ones:

2011: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2011/12/the-baseball-hall-of-fame-is-incomplete.html

2012: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2012/12/on-tim-raines-and-hall-of-fame-again.html

2013: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2013/11/rock-hall-3.html

2014: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-greatest-lead-off-guys-evar.html
(this one I wrote whilst watching the world series and went on really looong and I wroted A LOT).

2015: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2015/12/rock-for-hall-of-fame-for-umpteenth-time.html



Alright, so ... this year is of course the last chance at getting the Rock into the Hall of Fame. I think this year I'm gonna go on a "...But, Don't Take My Word For it - Listen to These Testimonials!" info-mercial sort of gimmick. I mean why should people take my word for it? I'm not anything wicked-great or nothing.

This year we shall look at two celebrities who have been championing the Rock's cause. Jonah Keri and ...

... The Icon.

But first a quick mentioning of why this means something to me.



Why I Care about This

There's 3 things from my youthful halcyon days that just bestow upon me an Unusual Amount of Happiness.

These things are:

1. Montreal Expos Baseball
2. Video Games
3. WWF Wrestling

South Park has a thing on the show this year called "'Member Berries" that are these grapes (grapes aren't berries ... you know that right guys?) that are these cute little talking berries that just shout out things you liked from the past and every adult on the show is getting addicted to them (it has a deeper meaning and message in the show but I'm not invoking that here just the fact they yell out things from the past you liked).

If I had 'member berries in real life they'd be saying things like this to me:


"Hey, 'memba Tim Raines!?"

YA!

"'Memba Mega Man 2!?"

YES!

"Ohhh.... 'memba Twin Towers? Boss Man and Akeem the African Dream accompanied by their manager the Slicksta who never does nuthin' but tell da truth !?"

YEAH I DO!

"Hey .... you 'memba Andres Galarraga, Tim Wallach, n' Junior Noboa!?" 

YEEEEES!

"What about River City Ransom?"

I love River City Ransom!!!!

"I bet you 'memba Men on A Mission ... Moe n' Mable!? Memba the Bush Whackers!?"

 Oh yes. Oh yes I most certainly do!

"Super Mario World!"
"Hubie Brooks! Tim Burke!"
"Ax and Smash of Demolition!!! Koko B. Ware !!! Earthquake and Typhoon The Natural Disasters!!"

YEAH!


Okay. Enough memba berryin' for a moment we have an article to punch up here. That's why I care about this because Montreal Expos Baseball is my number ONE by far memba berry datum .... and Tim Raines is the MOST BESTEST EXPO!


Two Famous People Championing his Case

Look, we all know the Common Man's opinion is worth the opinion of One Man. Yet what about experts or celebrity opinions? They are by default worth probably like the opinion of ten regular men's opinions ... and that's a fact jack.

Me? I'm just a common man, I work hard with my hands, I work hard for the man, I use up quite a bit of soul. Who me? Hey, I use up a lotta soul but I gotta a goal ... I know my Goal ... it's The American Dream ... but still, I'm just a common man ... and that's all I'll ever be ... a common man.

And thus, my opinion is worth only one iota, and although that's all I'll ever need in this world, it's difficult for one common man's opinion to ever be heard over the loud incessant noise of this to-and-fro world.

Know what I mean?

Thankfully, two much more famous people have been championing the Rock's Hall of Fame case in the last while: Jonah Keri and The Icon. 



1. Jonah Keri

Keri is a baseball analyst and author who has been extremely vocal about Tim Raines and his Hall of Fame candidacy over the last decade.

He is of the sabermetric analytic school of pouring over and obsessing about Baseball Stats. He's written books on that subject as well as a book about the History of the Montreal Expos.

He's a famed author and baseball stats guy and thus his expert opinion is of high regard.

I saw him on the Seth Meyers show, talking about Expos and Rock's hall of fame candidacy a few years back. In the whole history of the Montreal Expos when they existed, I never saw them get exposure like that. National Late Night airwaves exposure? Expos Exposure like that? It never happened in the 36 years they existed. With this guy's book and him talking about Montreal Expos on national airwaves like he has ... the Expos have had more National Exposure now than in the entire history of their existance.

To explain this further, Tim Raines was telling All-Star and Gold-Glover Harold Reynolds the other day on MLB Network that only ONE regular season Expos game in the HISTORY of the Expos was broadcast on National Airwaves ... ONE. It's the one where he hits the grand slam off of Orosco and Vin Scully and Garagiola (I think it's Garagiola I have to re-check) start freaking out.

Throw it ova da plate there Jesse!

 That's the only National Airwaves game the Expos ever had. Now with Keri talking about them and writing books about them ... they are getting more press Nationally now then when they actually existed. MLB even made a William Shatner narrated documentary about Expos last year, more people know about Montreal Baseball nationally now than ever before. So think about that when you think about Raines's hall of fame candidacy too ... he got no exposure to the American public and baseball writers during his tenure as being one of the most electrifying men in sports.

Jonah Keri's championing of Rock's Hall of Fame case has been monumental in getting him from the 20 percentage line to the 70 percentage line. Rock only needs 5% percent in his final year to cross the threshold into immortality.




2. The Icon

There's only a handful of broadcasters who can walk amongst us and be openly regarded by this honorific title. This man has had candid conversations with the best of the best and the most controversial of the controversial ... he's interviewed the elite winers and diners ... the kings and queens ... and interviewed those who get along on pork n' beans.

He's even on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS interviewed Liberace. I'm talking of course about Broadcast Icon ...

... Larry King.

Larry King has been vocal in the twitter sphere that he simply cannot believe the Rock is not in the Hall of Fame yet. He simply and literally cannot believe it.

The Broadcast Icon was recently in Montreal, where he unveiled the contract Jackie Robinson signed with the Montreal Royals for the public to come see. The historic document that meant for the first time a black man was going to be signed to a pro baseball contract since the league banned them.

(see: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/jackie-robinson-contracts-royals-dodgers-montreal-1.3646848)

Afterwards he made his rounds on various radio programs in the metropolis and made it clear to everyone in ear shot of his Montreal area broadcasts on local radio that ...

... Tim Raines belongs in the Hall of Fame.

In Montreal do you know what all who were in ear shot did? We all nodded in agreement. We all nodded in agreement that Tim Raines belongs in the Hall of Fame.

Do you know why? Because here, we all know that statement is truth ... but it seems much of what happened here in Baseball is not known on the National scene.

Larry King is the greatest celebrity interviewer of all time. No one even comes close. He has done it all in the broadcast field. He is truly an Icon ... and the weight of his opinions?

They are worth their weight in Gold ... and he believes Tim Raines is a Hall of Famer.

When Popularity Contests Go Awry

Holy shit.

First the god damned Chicago Cubs win the God Damned World Series .... for the First Time in 108 years. Which you know is completely one of those "When Pigs Fly" kinda scenarios? You know?

(I was even mentioned in the Wall Street Journal for something I wrote about the Cubs last season:  

http://www.wsj.com/articles/holy-cow-the-chicago-cubs-are-the-official-baseball-team-of-jewsalso-christians-buddhists-and-muslims-1477059952)

Yes, yes .... The Chicago Cubs have conquered suffering as I was alluding to in this post:
(https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2015/10/chicago-cubshave-they-conquered.html)

They melded with suffering and achieved Nirvana and yada yada yada.... and they did it by winning  probably the most exciting baseball game I ever seen with these two old eyes o' mine (bypassing the previous game of the 1993 "Curtis Pride" game that I saw LIVE and almost flew through the roof of the Big O because I got so pumped) ....

.... but we have to move on from that exceedingly rare Moment in Human History, not that I want to, I still want to focus on the Cubs World Series Championship ... but alas we cannot ... because ....

... Well, you know what just happened and that something is probably even RARER than the Cubs winning a World Series.

Yes. Ladies. And Gentlemens ....

....

**** A Celebrity Has Become President ****

 (I wish HTML still let you use the BLINK tag. That text should be blinkin' !)


Now, I know you're saying that Trump is not the first and that Ronald Reagan made movies about letting monkeys know it's their bed time .... but wait ... Ronald Reagan was also in the military and was commended for his service as well as being the governor of California (the largest state in the Union) for close to a decade.

Reagan had military and political experience prior to becoming the President. Donald Trump doesn't have this ... in fact he's not even really an A-List Celebrity he's probably more B-List.

And Thus, it has been decreed as of right friggin' now ... that The United States of America has its first B-List Celebrity President. That's pretty monumental to be precise and candid.

Why? Because it opens the door for other celebrities who as they start to age, get washed-up, and need a new venue to get attention from ... to achieve the highest office of honor in the Nation ... I've seen on twitter Kanye (oh lord, NO don't run. Please!), Will Smith, and Roseanne Barr state they one day intend to run for the office of the President.

Before Trump's win, many celebrities thought to themselves before committing to actually running thoughts like: 


"Do I know a lick 'bout politics, even?"

"Is it hard or anything to actually literally be the President of a big big country?"

"Am I really the type of person who should represent my Nation in Global Affairs and act as the Figure Head which basically represents every human being in my country?"


What's great is, now, celebrities don't need to ask these questions to themselves any longer ... they are finally free to run for the President for a major political party as often and as feverishly as they want to.

This is my prognosticated short-list of which B-list (and even D-List celebs) who may/will assume the Highest Post in the Nation in the next few decades:

2020s: a Fresh outta the Slammer O.J. Simpson complete with running mate Kato Kaelin!

2030s: Jose Canseco!

2040s: the one and only A.J. MacLean of the Backstreet Boys!

2050s: Demi Lovato (wow the FIRST WOMAN PRESIDENT!)



Alright Enough of That. Movin' Along.

Anyways. Look let's be serious now, I bet a lot of people are probably like scared right now ... I mean
a lot of the rhetoric was about building large fortifications to keep Mexican rapists away, and deporting or barring entry of any Muslim from the continent.

Look, there's a lot of people who are literally and genuinely scared that this rhetoric that won him the election is going to get out of hand. Their fears are 100% warranted but there's some hope still.

First of all, the USA is the best country on earth because their founders made a iron-cast series of great great laws that aimed to limit the power of future politicians in the Nation. So, unlike other countries (my country Canada doesn't even have term limits for example) ... the power of the United States President is unable to reach dictator level power due to said laws implemented by said founders. The President has veto power and executive push-through power for bills and that's his/her main tenet of power. There is a great many a barrier set up in USA laws to prevent individuals from achieving dictator-level influence.

Second, the congress is split ... there's about 50 Democrats and 50 Republicans ... and I don't think those 50 Democrats are too crazy about building large coast-to-coast defensive fortifications (what is this the battle of Ticon-der-fucking-roga or whatnot!? Are the red-shirts coming? Are we in one of those civil war re-enactment thingies?) , or voting for mass deportations, or suing every news media outlet that has ever said anything non-positive about the POTUS. I don't think congress is gonna jump onto these issues with much enthusiasm. So, I'm not sure Trump is going to get most or even any of the more kookier things he proposed passed ... and I doubt he'll be able to acquire dictator-esque powers and I genuinely and honestly hope he doesn't ever somehow achieve that.

The other thing that could be surprising about this guy is that .... he's not really a Republican if you categorize him from the crap he states .... and his own party doesn't really even like him. This is the type of guy who might pull some serious 180 degree heel-turns on his own party at the drop-of-a-darned-dime ... so who knows .... he might even pass bills that democrats want for all we know ... if there's one word that categorizes him it's Unpredictable.


Conclusion

Okay, so, for people who are very sad that Trump actually won ... let's try to find some semblance of silver linings okay?

What did we think of up there in that text ..... Let's see:


1. This opens the door and removes the glass ceiling for B-List Celebs to become President. So we are one step closer to my personal dream of one day being able to utter the words ....

.... Head Whack Packer and President of the United States of America ..... Beetlejuice! (Who me!?)

2. The great laws set up by the founders of the USA made sure to include provisions to limit the power of the most powerful office in the land and thus il Duce Trump is a probably not going to evolve out of this presidency (or let's hope not at least).

Those are okay, what else.

3. Comedians and the Late Night people will have a lot of material for the next 4-ish years.

4. Trump could actually be a Trojan Horse who's not actually the fire-brand Wally George he claimed to be ... and his actual goal is a noble one of uniting all of America's politicians by mediating and coming to well thought out conclusions to many-most-or-all of the nation's quandaries and problems. (Ya, okay, this silver lining is pretty far-fetched ... I'll admit ... buy hey, you never know ... I mean the Cubs did just win the World God Damn Series....).