We last left our heroes on the soccer field basking in glory...
"YES!" yelled Peter from the wooden benches where all the students, junior to senior, were watching the game.
"NO!" cried a stupid mean blonde girl who was rooting against them.
Julio rose his hand into the sky and thanked God for giving him the strength to propel his team ahead one to nothing. Strangely, enough, Julio could faintly hear a response from above... but he probably imagined it.
Troy was throwing a childlike tantrum in the middle of the field, he threw his fluorescent green headband onto the ground and started stomping on it.
"No! They're cheating! I'm gonna go tell Mr. Schett! I'm gonna go tell Mr. Schett!" whined the douchebag crybaby Troy.
Just then a big round fat teacher arrived on the field...
"You don't have to tell me anything! I saw the whole thing from my secret vantage point... I saw the whole thing... don't worry Troy... I'll take care of this," said Mr. Schett to comfort the dumb crybaby Troy.
Julio knew the game was over and somehow they'd be declared the losers... but in his own heart, mind, and in the powerful eye of the only judge who really mattered, God, he knew he was the winner. The only entity that can truly judge him, like his mother explained to him when he was little, was God, not Mr. Schett... so he didn't even care for what the over-weight hot-dog eating man would say to him.
"Daygo! Some people never learn. There's nothing more I can do to you. If you're ever going to learn how not to cheat at soccer... it'll be from someone other than me... because I've exhausted any form of teaching method in my teacher's handbook with you," said Mr. Schett.
"I understand... Mr. Schett," replied Julio not wanting to argue.
...and that was that. That was the end of their soccer feud with the Triangle of T. In their minds and hearts... and also in the minds but not the hearts of the entire school... everyone knew they won. The whole entire school knew, whether they liked it or not, that they won.
When school ended they celebrated by going to the ice cream truck...
"Those bastards. Those bastards. They have sullied my clothes... the face of Jose Canseco and of Tony La Russa are muddied with dirt. It is a great insult to myself, to baseball, to the A's of Oakland, and to America," said Matsuo as he dusted himself off.
They looked at the ice cream available on the side of the ice cream truck. One ice cream product available was offered in the shape of a frog...no, they thought. One was in the shape of Mario or Luigi... which peaked their interest... and then at the right side of the menu... they saw the ice cream truck had ice cream in the shape of all four ninja turtles!
"Yo! Let's each get a Turtle! I got Raph!" exclaimed Woolly-Milton.
"Cool! I got Donnie," said Julio.
"You want Mikey or Leo... Mat?" asked Peter being gracious to their guest in America.
"I would like to eat, the party dude, I would like to eat an ice cream product in the likeness of Michelangelo," replied Matsuo.
"Okay... then I'll get LEO!" said Peter.
They all ordered a different turtle each... and proceeded to a chain-link fence, to lean on, so they could rest and enjoy their ninja-turtle shaped ice cream pops.
"We are tragic heroes... I feel like... I won... yet, also, in many ways... I feel as though... I've lost," said Matsuo in regards to his feelings.
"I know I won... it's just that we don't get anything. We won but we won... nothing," said Woolly-Milton.
"I won something. I don't care if Mr. Shit or some stuck-up chicks were mad that we won... we still won... and... it's sappy... but it's like my mom always said... the only person who can truly judge you... is God," explained Julio as he took a bite out of Donatello's purple bandana which was grape-flavored.
"In the eyes of God, you're right, man... we are the champions in the eyes of God," agreed Woolly-Milton.
"I saw you praying out there, Mat, what do Japanese people believe in?" asked Peter.
"My religion is called Shinto... our concept of God or Kami... is not easily explained... but we do believe in God," explained Matsuo.
"That's why I don't care what other people think of me. Troy got so sad because he lost... I think... it's because he has too much pride. He knows the whole school watched him lose and... he couldn't handle it," said Julio.
"He, in many ways, Julio-san... is also a tragic hero," suggested Matsuo in regards to Troy.
"No, Mat, he really isn't... he's a stupid, ugly, cheating, prick," countered Peter.
"I'm with Peter on this one," said Woolly-Milton as he enjoyed his cherry-flavored Raphael bandana portion of his ice cream pop.
"Forgiveness please for my err in thought," said Matsuo.
"Don't worry 'bout it, Mat..." said Julio.
They finished their turtles ice cream and then went to their respective dwellings. They were too tired to play video games today.
Julio went to bed early... for a change. There was nothing to worry about any longer, nothing to keep him awake at night. He since had beaten the water level and even made it to the drome in Turtles on NES. He had been switched out of Mr. Schett's horrible homeroom and had won glory on the soccer field. The three things that kept him up at night were now removed and gone from his mind.
As he ate supper that night, he ate like an adult... he was relaxed and enjoyed his food. He really savored each and every bite. He went to bed early and woke up early...
In the morning, he got ready for school, and ate some breakfast. When his mother told him she loved him as he walked to the door, he remembered he wasn't saying it back to her... because Troy told him saying that word, Love, was something only meant for gay people.
As Julio walked out the door that morning, he turned to his mother and said...
"Hey Mom... I love you too," said Julio.
"......" said the gentle Juanita.
Julio jumped on his bike and began peddling to school. He peddled strong and free... like he always wanted to be. His mind was free... until it was loaded again with bad thoughts.
He couldn't believe he was called a cheater... he couldn't believe that woman showed him how to make a sandwich in school... he couldn't believe they got Mat's A's shirt dirty... he couldn't believe...
Meanwhile, he wasn't looking where he was going.
"AAAAAAAAAAH!" yelled Julio as he hit an obstruction, a stone perhaps, and flew off his bike!
"Aaaaaaaaaaah!" he gasped in agony as he flew head-first, without wearing a helmet, onto the pavement of the road.
He held his head... there was blood... he looked at the red on his hand... I'm bleeding he thought...and then promptly... passed out.
Chapter 7
Coma
To Be Continued...
Julio heard a phone ringing... and it wouldn't stop. He wanted to wake up to answer it but he could not move any part of his body. The phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing.
He knew he was in the hospital, he knew he was in bad shape, he knew he was in a bed, and he knew a phone was ringing... and that was it. That's all he knew.
He knew something had happened but what? Actually... he remembered falling off his bike and hitting his head on the pavement. He remembered holding his hand to his head and yelling that their was blood on his hand and on his head.
How long ago was that?
The phone kept ringing. Whoever it was really wanted to talk to him, he thought, but their desire to reach him was giving him a splitting headache. Ringing and ringing and ringing... just hang up! He thought. Whoever is calling must be aware that he couldn't move!
He tried to move his left leg... but couldn't.
He tried to move his right arm... but couldn't.
He tried to move his right leg... but couldn't.
He tried to move his left arm... but simply could not do it.
He couldn't even move his face! He couldn't smile or wiggle his nose! What the hell was going on!?
He started to become paranoid! Was the phone really ringing? No one would let the phone ring a hundred times without hanging up on the other end! Maybe the phone was his brain ringing from the brain damage!? Ah, he thought.... or maybe the ringing phone... was a memory?
He tried to focus on just his own thoughts... but couldn't feel his own mind.
The phone eventually stopped ringing... but then random thoughts and voices started to assail his waking mind...
"You dropped the pie, Julio!? I just finished making that!" yelled his mother at him after he dropped a whole lemon meringue pie on the kitchen floor when he was six years old.
"Julio! Come and play catch with me! I'll be Scioscia! You be Valenzuela! Come on, Julio!" said his late father, Roberto, pounding a catcher's mitt.
"Yo! Julio! Yo! Don't tell nobody I told you this but..." started his older cousin Jorge before he told him the grossest joke he ever heard that had plenty of swear words in it.
"Me? Sure thing. Prune juice keeps this Woolly-Milton... Regular," said Woolly-Milton Regular.
He laughed on the inside but couldn't feel if his lips were moving as he laughed.
"Julio! When I was growing up in Sinaloa there was a time where I wore
the same tattered gown for three years!" he remembered his mother scolded him for almost not playing Turtles with Pete.
"Psssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhht. Gimma a break. Rocksteady's move-set is
back and forth and sometimes he jumps. Who cares. You think I'm gonna
jump on some boxes and gimmick this fight? Psssssssssssshhhhhhhht.
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffft, no way, Julio," he remembered, Peter, psssshting and pfffffting as he played Turtles in his room.
"Julio... I... I had a heart attack..." he remembered his father explaining to him as he lay flat on a hospital bed.
Julio was now, also, lying on a hospital bed... just like after his father had his first heart attack.
"I'll clean it up, MOM!" he remembered as he saw the lemon meringue pie all over the kitchen floor.
"Video game? That's the devil's make! You are the WORST person in my
class! I literally actually HATE you Daygo... I actually hate you," yelled Mr. Schett in his brain again.
"Look at that, Julio! Look who's coming up! Kirk Gibson!? Kirk Gibson! Gibson homered!? WOW! He can barely even walk! He just homered!? Wow!" said his dad, amazed, as they watched the 1988 World Series together... six months before his father passed away from his second heart attack.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Dongyschotts-san, I am thirteen years old... I am
not a small child. This level of material shouldn't be allowed in a
place of learning as this. Please explain what manner of farce is
currently happening... I am deeply and utterly confused by your
behavior," he remembered his new friend Matsuo asking his new homeroom teacher.
"It's okay... Julio... it's just a pie," consoled his mother.
RING! RING! RING!
The phone started ringing again! What the hell!? He couldn't answer it! He could not even move!
He imagined himself answering it...
"Hello?" Julio imagined himself saying into the phone.
"Hey, man, how ya doin?" said the deep unfamiliar yet strangely somehow familiar voice.
"I'm... I'm not able to move... and..." explained Julio to the mysterious voice.
"Yeah, yeah... I know. You fell off your bike and hit your head pretty bad... looks like you're gonna have to spend a bit of time here with me for a while, kid," said the mysterious voice.
"Who are you?" asked Julio.
"Me? Hey. I'm... God, Julio..." said the voice.
To Be Continued...
"God? Ohhh... maaaaaan. Am I dead, God?" asked Julio not even really caring that much if he was alive or dead after listening to a phone ring over-and-over for what felt like days on end.
"No, no. You just hit your head... you're gonna be out for a while. Trust me... I got your back, Julio..." said God in a way that made his long-numb spine tingle.
That day on the soccer field when he lifted his hand slowly to the sky and thanked God for giving him the power to entrust all of his national pride into his foot to ever-victoriously kick the ball into the back of the net... God... said that. He heard a voice telling him that.
"God, like yo... that's what you said to me that day! The day when I kicked the ball! The day I won!" exclaimed Julio in disbelief.
"I know... I remember... that was me. Thanks for the shout out, homie..." said God.
"God! God! Is my dad in heaven!? Can you hear my mom's prayers!?" asked Julio.
"Yeah, your dad's here... we hang sometimes... we, like, watch sports n' stuff. Your mom prays a lot... she asks me to watch over you... usually... but sometimes she asks me to help her win the lottery," explained God.
"Yeah, my mom acts like that sometimes... but she's a good person, God, trust me..." said Julio not even caring he was lying in a hospital bed anymore.
"I'm God, you know, I'm pretty omnipotent... you need anything?" asked the powerful and all-knowing God.
"What's that mean? Omni...potent? What is that?" asked Julio to clarify an unclear term God just used.
"It means I can do anything. I can do whatever I want... all kinds of magic... like... you know... blow stuff up... make volcanoes do shit... you know... like anything...." answered God.
"Oh! Like Superman?" asked Julio.
"Yeah, pretty much... like Superman," answered God.
"Oh! Can you give my teacher diarrhea?" asked Julio.
"Of course I could give a teacher some diarrhea... which one?" asked God.
"Uhhh.... Mr. Schett! No! Mrs. Dongyschotts!" stammered Julio not knowing which teacher deserved diarrhea from God more.
"Julio... you're talking to a guy who can do literally anything... and all you want is for me to...?" started God.
"No! Wait! Anything!? Okay...wait...no... give TROY diarrhea, God!" exclaimed Julio.
"Julio...look... I'm not doing that. It's beneath me... I've solved global wars... I've stabilized economies... I've fought Satan like a hundred times... look... I'm not giving some fat lady diarrhea! Okay!?" yelled God.
"Okay, like, whatever, God...whatever," disappointingly answered Julio.
"Julio... look... for real... listen...
You are not a kid anymore, you are gonna be a man soon. I know you don't have a dad anymore and you don't have someone to look up to in your life... but you're getting by alright. Your mother cares about you more than you can know and it looks like you're getting some close friends in your life.
Peter, Woolly-Milton Regular, and the gentle but strong Matsuo...
You four, together, are going to accomplish a lot in your lives. You are basically a Dream Team and don't even know it, yet. Together, you and your friends, are almost unstoppable.
Do you remember when you almost didn't even let Peter come to your house to beat Turtles but your mother intervened? That was fate, Julio. You two were fated to become friends. Fate works in mysterious ways... trust me.
You've already stood up to the worst boys in your school and made them cry. The four of you together? You are a power house... you can solve any problem! You four together? Even I can't believe it. It's not only the teachers, but even your evil-hearted principal, Mr. Dorksmund, is conspiring against your crew. He is weary of your combined strength and is deeply scared of a powerful youth-oriented rebellion.
Julio, there's going to be a big event held at your school, The All-American Mario Championship, and it will be something you will have no choice but to take part in... for the honor and pride of you and your friends. It won't be easy for you... the kids at your school, the teachers, and even your evil principal shall be conspiring against your crew. On top of it all, you won't even be fully healthy by that time... but you have to take part... you can't sit by the rock and pretend to smoke cigarettes. Smoking is really bad for you, by the way, your dad asked me to tell you not to ever smoke real cigarettes.
Oh and... about Woolly-Milton stabbing that kid in the dick with a barbecue fork? Trust me... not only did it never happen... but that stupid kid was acting like a complete moron... it was hard for him to keep cool around a kid acting like such a moron... you can always trust Woolly-Milton Regular... through thick and thin... through peace and war... and never doubt that.
As for Peter? He will always have your back since you gave him that pair of American flag themed jogging pants... never forget that. If you two were in a war together... Peter would literally take an incoming grenade from a grenade-launcher for you. He really would.
Matsuo? He views you as the coolest kid he's ever met. He was very frightened, sitting at the cafeteria table, that fateful day... and views you like a timely-rain who swept down to help him.. he views you as being so cool... even cooler than his friend in Japan who does motocross. That kid is only fifteen and already has his own dirt bike... and he thinks you are twice as cool as that kid... maybe even three times. Never forget that...
Julio...
I wish you luck," said the word of God.
"Wait God! When I wake up will I remember you?" asked Julio.
"No, you won't, Julio..." answered God.
"Can I ask you one more thing? Please?" pleaded Julio.
"Okay... but I can't make your mom win the lottery, bring your dad back to life, or give some fat guy diarrhea... okay?" said God.
"God... what is Hulk Hogan's problem? Like, for real, what is Hulk Hogan's actual problem?" asked Julio of God.
"I dunno, Julio, I know you hate Hulk Hogan but hatred is not my department. That's more Satan's department... the whole hatred thing... it's more for Satan. You shouldn't hate people... but I know what you're asking. Even me, like even me, watching the Mania where Macho Man drops the belt back to him... I was like... what the hell? So, I don't want you to hate people or anything... but... in the case of Hulk Hogan... even I have to ask what that guy's problem is... and I'm God... so," started God.
"Yo, God... he grabbed his tights for a leverage maneuver! This is the guy telling us to pray to you and eat our vitamins! He blatantly cheats in front of everyone's eyes!" pleaded Julio.
"I'll see what I can do. Okay? But... I don't usually do petty things... but... it's so true what you're saying. I saw one match, where he was fighting Boss Man, and Hogan stepped on Boss Man's eye while he was lying on the mat! Who steps on someone's eye!?" said God.
"Back rakes, too, and eye gouges..." Julio said shaking his own head in the hospital bed for the first time in days.
"I know... you're right... this guy tells you to pray to me and then you have to watch him cheat all the time. Macho should've dropped the belt to Flair not to Hogan," said God.
"It's so true, God, it's so true... your word is so pure and so true..." said Julio, now sitting up in his bed, for the first time in days.
He opened his eyes...
He saw his mom...
"Julio!? Are you awake!?" exclaimed his mother.
"Yeah, Mom... I am... I'm... I'm awake," said the groggy Julio.
To Be Continued...
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