Short Story: The Swamp

My book isn't going well. I gave up on it. I only know like essay-esque styles. Fiction is hard, it is. I tried to branch out and do movie writin' a few years back. I remember one was called The Rick Cerone Story and one was called The Diarrhea Tree. Re-reading them ... they're okay I guess. I'm still not trained at fiction writings though.

This One: Script 1
That One: Script 2

I'm gonna try and start smaller with fiction. Gonna write a couple shorties. This first one I did tonight is called .... "The Swamp."

What's it about? Well ... I guess you'll have to read on to find out.



The Swamp
-A short story by D. 

1

... and they saw me walk away. Walk away from it all. The fame. The glory. Everything.

Where did I go? Well that's hard to say. Some people tell me I can never escape the past and I'm still there in those swamps ... but I know better. I'm just an old sack of saw dust now a days ... but back then? I was really Someone.

It all started the day Weston died. He told me, "Jake .... you can't turn your back on those people ... they need ya."

Weston was a good man, he knew life inside and out ... and I knew he meant what he said that day. That day that he died. He meant every damned last word of it. And me? Did I care? No. Did I even pretend to care? No, I did not. I could have cared less about that dying old man's words of wisdom. To me they were worth less than dirt. Filthy rotten dirt.

I turned my back on those people because I had to, or so I thought at the time. I buried Weston and read all the proper rites ... he told me he was Christian once ... so I read him some Christian rites over his dusty old hole which would forever be his final destination on his road of life.

My road of life is only beginning .... it began that day I turned my back on it all. On Everything.

2

What did Weston mean ... that they "needed" me those people. What did he mean? They were all good folk and they didn't need an old hired ranch hand like me. How could they have? My boots 'aint even worth a red cent, not even a cent. My hands are all crippled and in pain. My back sure is not what it used to be. What did they need a dusty old ranchman like me in that swamp ... they didn't even have livestock in that swamp ... unless ya count fish and water fowl as livestock ... which I don't.

That Weston sure was a character. All those people in the swamp were ... now that I think about it. Characters the whole bunch of 'em. Characters.

There was Reggie. Me and him got along plenty fine. He wasn't a character as much as he was a compadre and amigo. Black fella. Trustworthy as humans come.

And Huang Si, Chinese fella. Didn't know too much karate ... but that's okay. He didn't need it much in the swamp anyhow... all anyone needed in that swamp was a couple of hardworking hands and ethic. An ethic that we all lived by. The Code.

Gertrude ran the bar. Nice lady. Spoke well.

Weston .... that old goat. Bad ticker. Breathed poorly ... and smelled. Smelled of tabaccy. But I liked 'em. Nice guy.

Weston. That swamp woulda fell apart without him. He knew that swamp like the back of his hand .... but only because he tatooed a map of the swamp to it, that is. He knew all the brooks and brannies of that filthy ol' swamp ... all the ways in ... and all the ways out. He knew where all the ducks hung out ... so he could shoot 'em and eat 'em whenever he wanted.

I knew that swamp like the back of my hand too now that I think about it ... and I didn't even have a map of it inked on my hand. I knew it from smarts, just plain old smarts.

Damnit Weston. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. Were you right? Naw .... the swamp is better off without me. I'm the one who brought them there. They followed MY scent somehow those things. They followed my scent or maybe it was my heat. Maybe they followed my heat. Either way it don't matter ... all that matters ... is that the swamp is better off without me.

Reggie told me once ... "The only way I'll ever leave the swamp is if the swamp leaves me."

Well, I'm sorry Reggie, it's sad to say but that swamp is as good as gone. Our home. It's on its last legs, Reg. Its last legs.....

3

I turned back to look at it. The Swamp .... it's almost out of sight now ... all I can see is the restaurant boat. Yup, a restaurant on a boat ... 'aint that something. God damnit I miss the swamp. Ya just hook up your motor boat to the restaurant boat and ol' Moms Yeager would set you up with all the fixins and swamp watta you can sink your hands into.

I remember when me n' Reg first found the swamp ... we loved that boat restaurant. We loved it more than anything in this world. It was a restaurant ... on a boat. It was really something else.

I ate there every day. Eatin' fixins n' drinkin' swamp watta, daddy-o ... that was me. Now as I look at it, the last visible piece of the swamp hoverin' over the horizon, I'm startin' think maybe Weston was right ... maybe those people really did "need" me.

Can they fend them off? Reg is a big guy ... and Huang Si knows a bit of ol' karate ... I'm sure they'll be okay. Right?

Gertrude's got that stick thing ... with the blade thing on it. She could probably fend some of them off. She's a tough gal. Yeah ... they'll be alright.

Better keep walking ... walking away from that swamp .... away from my Home that I Love.

4

I played the best concert of my life in that swamp ... me on guitar, n' Reg on bass, n' Huang Si on drums. It was the best performance of my life.

H-Si had a way about him on those drums. His set up was pretty elaborate for a swamp band. He even mad a microphone on the kit so he could sing some back up vocals. He didn't do much singing ... he'd do some though ... here and there.

When we'd cover Walk the Dinosaur, usually midway into the set, H-Si would do the "Boom Boom - Chaka Laka - Boom Boom" part and then me n' Reg would sing the "Open da door - get on the floor - NOW EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR!" part ... and the crowd really enjoyed that number. They really enjoyed that number, the crowd.

Everyone would bring their motor boats up to the stage and tie 'em to the posts and watch the concert from their motor boats n' drink crystal clear sweet swamp water ... that's what they did.

Man ... I miss the swamp. They'll .... they'll be fine without me. Won't they?

I don't know.

5

"YOU BROUGHT THEM HERE, YOU GREASY SON OF A SAILOR!"

That's what Moms Yeager yelled at me that day. That day the monsters came to the swamp.

"I TOLD YOU TA NEVVA GO INTO THAT WATERY CAVE UP ON THE NORTH SIDE OF THE SWAMP! THERE'S MONSTERS IN THAT CAVE ... YOU DUMB IDIOT!"

She was right. There was monsters in that cave. Swamp Monsters. And they followed me back to the swamp with their noses or maybe they have like heat sensing tendrils of something ... maybe they were following my heat with their tendrils ... y'know? I don't know. I really don't.

Alls I know is ... is that I am the one that they followed to the swamp after I disobeyed Moms Yeager's aged wisdom and went a spelunkin' yonder in that damp ol' watery cave on the northern side of the swamp.

Moms wasn't the only person of the swamp to chew me out something fierce that morning. Gerdie, Huang Si ... and even Reg...

"It don't matter if it was your smell OR your HEAT. Those filthy swamp monsters are in the swamp now ... and it's YOUR FAULT man," Reggie told me.

Huang Si told me to take ol' Weston away from the swamp. Weston was too old for this shit. He was much too old to be fightin' swamp monsters.

"Take the best of the motor boats and bring old Weston up to the eastern road ... he can make his way into Humphrey town by that yonder way," is what Huang Si instructed me to do.

And I did.

Until old Weston had a heart attack from all the excitement and just conked out on the east road into Humphrey town.

Now I'm just standing here, on old Eastern Road .... looking at a dead Weston.

6

I wasn't stinky that day. I wasn't overly hot that day. God damn it. How did those filthy watery monsters follow me from that cave all the way back to the swamp? It makes no sense. It makes absolutely no sense.

Wait.

Those big swampy monster ears. Could it all have been sound? God damnit! I was humming the whole way home! They followed my NOISE back to the swamp. God damn those filthy swamp monsters from that damp swampy cave!

I can't turn my back on the swamp. Weston was right. Those people DO NEED ME. Gertrude, n' Huang Si, n' Moms, n' Reggie ... they all need me back there .... BACK THERE FIGHTING THOSE SWAMP MONSTERS!

If those horrible wet monsters like my humming so much to follow me back to the swamp like that ... then maybe I need to put on a show for those slimy sons of sailors. I'm going back.

... to the Swamp.

7

I ran back down Eastern road back to the dock and jumped into our best motor boat and revved it up full power and made a bee line back to the swamp. I hitched the motor boat to the dock where we keep the drum kit and the amps for our guitars.

I jumped out of the boat and plugged my electric guitar into the amp .... I picked up that guitar and started to PLAY! I played my heart out on that guitar and its powerful rock and roll waves blasted throughout the entire Swamp.

BA NEEEEEEEEER NA NEEEEEEEEEER! NEEEER NA NA NEEEEEEEER! BA NEEEEEEEEER NEEER NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

All my brethren and sistren who were fending off multitudes of swampy monsters lifted their heads and saw me blaring out hot licks on my guitar!

"It's Jake! He's back!" Cried Reggie.

"Damn it Jake! Is Weston okay?" asked Huang Si.

"Naw, he died of a heart attack. Ol' West died on the East before we got to Humphrey." I said.

"God damnit you stupid fool, it's not the time to be playing that infernal racket! Fight these swampy bastids with us!" exclaimed Moms Yeager at me.

"I am Moms. I AM FIGHTING! Look!" I responded in a frenzy while playing my electric guitar.

As I directed the denizens of the swamp to look at the swampy monsters ... they saw them covering their dirty ear holes and scurrying about like a buncha crazy critters!

"Look at them go!" yelled Huang Si.

"So it wasn't smell or heat ... it was NOISE" said Reggie whilst nodding.

I know with my broken up hands and my bad back that I couldn't be much help in this fight for the sanctity of our beautiful swamp ... but I still got my smarts, daddy-o. I still got my smarts.

"They're all running away ... except for that big one!" cried Gertrude in a fever heat.

"God damnit ... that's the biggest swamp monster I ever seen!" said Reggie.

"That's the way these swamp monsters swarm, there's always a hundred little bastids who just do the swarmin' n' monkey fightin', but then behind them is always the big one," explained Moms Yeager.

"I 'aint worried Mama, with my strength, Huang Si's basic knowledge of Chinese Karate, Gertrude's stick thang with the knife thang taped on it .... and Jake's tactical knowledge of the layout of the swamp ... there's no way in HELL that swamp monster can best us ... the PEOPLE OF THE SWAMP!" proclaimed Reggie with the will of a champion.

...and he was right. With my tactical knowledge of the layout of the swamp ... that I know like the back of my hand .... we could do this. We could win. Not only that but for the first time I understood what Weston was trying to say.

I really was needed at this Swamp. Thank you for convincing me of that, ol' West.

8

Now I'm back at the Swamp ... where I belong ... and now it's time me to ... SHINE.

I proclaimed with renewed vigor....

"Moms! Use your broom stick! Bang it against Huang Si's gong that he brought from China! Make as much noise as possible to drive the remaining swamp bastards outta the swamp and back to their filthy cave!"

"Reggie! Gertrude! Huang Si! Set fires near the north, east, and west waterways so that big boss monster can't see those escape routes!"

"I'm going to the South waterway in our best motor boat! Everyone meet me there in 10 minutes ... and Gerdie ... bring your stick thing that has the knife on it!"

"YEAH"!

(Everybody Walks the Dinosaur begins slowly playing .... slowly getting louder and louder whilst they execute their counter-plan on the swampy monsters)

As everyone assembled at the South Water Way I continued orchestrating my battle plans....

"Alright is everyone here at the South Way! Good. Gerdie ... run up to that big dope and wave your knife stick at 'im all exagerated-like!"

Gertrude readied her 4 foot long stick with the knife taped to it and began swinging it about the air ceremoniously ... which appeared to either impress or frighten the Large Swamp Monster.

"Reggie ... get behind Gerdie and get ready to fight that thing mano-y-mano my brotha! Huang Si .... you get behind Reggie and conceal yourself behind him as so the swamp monster cannot see you!"

Gerdie executed a feint with her makeshift spear and then dispersed and retreated ... right on cue dependable Reggie was right behind her with his dukes up ready to fight the large boss swamp monster one on one with his adequate boxing ability. All the while ... Huang Si was lying in ambush behind the gigantic Reggie .... and the swamp monster was none the wiser as he could not see H-Si.

"Now! Reg! Duck, evade, n' scurry ... then skedaddle! When the monster tries to move in on Reg while his guard is momentarily down ... Huang Si .... spring out and ambush it with a powerful Chinese Karate Kick!!!"

(Everybody Walk the Dinosaur starts getting much much louder)

"HIGH! YAAAAA! BICYCLE KICK!" screeched Huang Si at the top of his lungs as he lunged his front foot at the monster's head.

The blow connected and the large swamp monster was visibly damaged by the high flyin' aerial assault of Huang Si ... but the marauding monster gradually gathered back its composure and continued his advance on the swampateers.

"God Damnit! That sonnafa sailor is still standin'!?" Exclaimed Gertrude in an alarming clamor.

Is this the end for our stalwart swamp heroes? Only time will tell. It seems they have gone from the fryin' pan and straight into the fire, daddy-o ... like a coupla dirty brine shrimps.

9

The ravenous swamp monster had eyes like iron rods, it was slimy and dirty like a pound of kettle fish, and had teeth the size of nails. It was coming right for our intrepid bayou billies and it had only one thing on its slimy swampy mind .... Murder.

Good thing I had a little more to my brilliant strategy then I had let on.

"NOW MOMS YEAGER! NOW" I YELLED.

Right then, as quick as a flume, Moms Yeager rose from her secret motor boat hitched to an old stump near the big red buoy ... and threw a pot full of rotten milk n' rotten cheese all over that slimy son of a sailor monster!

As the monster stood there covered in rotten milk n' rotten cheese ... I felt with victory in this engagement 100% ensured ... I could finally divulge my fail proof stratagem with this slimy monster. I don't rightfully know if it can understand human speak .... but for ol' Weston's sake ... I feel as if this monster deserves to know why it lost.

"Well, Mr. Monster. Do you rightfully know why I lured you to this southern waterway? It happens that we here in this here swamp like to refer to this inlet as Rodent Trench. This is where all the beavers, n' badgers, n' rats like to gather and scavenge for food ... and you Mr. Monster ... standing there all covered in rotten milk n' rotten cheese ... probably sure as sam must look mighty appetizin' to a myriad of hungry scavenging buck tooth rodents ... you reckon, Mr. Monster?"

It just looked at me ... like I was speakin' in tongues .... but as sure as the rain is clean .... and as sure as the night is brisk ... those saw-toothed filthy rodents of Rodent Trench covered that monster from head to toe like a buncha kids scurrying to a christmas tree on christmas ... boy did those beavers n' badgers n' rats chew up that slimy swampy monster. It was a sight to behold.

It's times like this I wish ol' Weston were still alive to experience things and see things with his gimpy bloodshot eyes. If he were still alive and he looked on this gigantic monster ... all covered in filthy rodents ... and being chewed alive ... I wonder what he'd say.

Just then I felt a cold wind hit my back .... and a smooth whisper hit the back of my ear.

....."Ya see that, Jake. I told you they needed you."

And thus concludes, "The Swamp."

Calestous Juma

Calestous Juma died today. He was a very interesting and smart man.

I had quotes of his in an article I wrote a while back called "Food":
(this one: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.ca/2015/11/food.html)

He was a writer, educator, and prolific user of twitter. No stranger to math and science his world view was pretty based in reality. In his books and articles he covered African development issues.

Africa is a part of the world most people who don't live there know very little about. If you ask someone on the street about various African countries they'd probably tell you that it's very poor, dangerous, and bad there ... but that's not really true. The African continent has come a long way in the last hundred years and it has a lot of potential for growth to become a very healthy economy.

Juma's final article was a recommendation for a Pan-African trade agreement.

(This One: When it Comes to Trade, Africa really Should be a Country)

It's not an easy undertaking as borders of Africa after World War 2 were drawn up by mediators at random and internal conflict is rife in Africa.

It's fun to read the writings of people with big dreams ... It's really sad he died ... he was like one of those people who really seemed to have a positive outlook on the world and how to make it a better place.

Africa has a lot of potential to be a healthy and prosperous entity. Last article we talked about Age Pyramids in this blog a bit ... when it comes to Age Demographics, Africa is one of the only places on earth where Young People outnumber Old People by a huge margin. Take Nigeria for example ...

Nigeria already has a 405 billion GDP (27th out of 194 countries worldwide), which is pretty good, and it has a very young well educated force of young people coming into adulthood. It's potential for economic health is A+.

Remote regions in Africa is a big issue they have to deal with as they have hubs here and there like Nigeria and half a dozen others that are decent economies with great potential ... but lack of continental-wide roads and infrastructure has kept this progress out of remoter regions.

But with PIDA PAPA 2020, and PIDA 2040 ... it seems a lot of projects are on their way to try and remedy this problem.

PIDA, See: https://www.afdb.org/fileadmin/uploads/afdb/Documents/Project-and-Operations/PIDA%20note%20English%20for%20web%200208.pdf

Connecting these hubs with roads, rails, energy lines, pipe lines, and internet is already being planned to be implemented.

Seems like Africa by 2040 will be a pretty healthy economic region. Scientist, Statistician, and Innovator Calestous Juma was a catalyst and advocate for this and it is a shame he won't be here to see it come to fruition.

The Most Biggest Statistic of the Age: The Blippeninest of Blips

Last article was Baseball stuff, lots and lots of stats in those articles all the time. Me? I love numbers, baby.

A ways back, when I wrote a Rest in Peace article for the statistician Rosling, H.,

(this article: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.ca/2017/02/hans-rosling.html)

I was thinking that, for me, statistics started with O-Pee-Chee baseball cards and that really formed a love of stats for me. As you get older you start to apply this to other topics/fields in life. A statistical and rational based world view is a pretty good mental home base for a human being, I believe.

Once you have that base-setting world-view it starts to apply itself to other areas on its own I think.

I did an article I remember, around the Canadian election, that was a very stat-based look at the situation,

(this article: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.ca/2015/08/do-young-canadians-have-to-care-about.html)

There my point was that the 18-35 election demographic in Canada is so small that it is a niche market that no one needs to pander to in hopes of cajoling votes for their respective party.

What is interesting, and what today's topic is, is that this situation of Young People not Mattering in Elections is NOT the case for our neighbors to the south ... the good ol' United States of America. Young People in those demographics are a huge factor.

The following information is one of the most concrete displays of why the deeply polarizing political ideological wars are tearing up (and in my opinion RUINING) the internet....

This is the Age Demographics of the United States of America:

If you're new to stats and stuff, this chart is showing a pyramid of what age groups there are in the United States. The column on the left is Age and the thickness of the block is how many people there are of that age.

Can you see what I see? The 23 to 27 age group is the MOST LARGEST in the UNITED STATES! I never would have guessed that to be honest.  Do you see the dark blue extending off the end of the blue block for 25 years olds? That how many more boys there are than girls .... there's A LOT of people in their mid twenties in the ol' United States and there's a decent amount more Males than Females in that Demographic.

Did you notice something else about this beautiful info graphic? The second biggest blip in that block stack is 55 years olds .... baby boomers .... and they are aging and dying. They are climbing up that skinny funnel to 100 years old and the ol' diner in the sky, it's a sad story. It's a sad story.

In political terms though .... these two situations translate to political engineers/strategists as... "Hey, we're losing our aging fan base to the tests of time ... looks like were' gonna need a new fan base!"

As of now those mid twenty year olds don't give a fuck about dirty dumb politics. They are out rocking, rollocking, rock-n-rolling, and rip-rap-scooby-doo-boppin, they don't have time for caring about politics. But, those 25 year olds are all gonna turn thirty, feel all old and shit, and start to all of sudden become pretty political and start votin' like nuts.

Out with the old in with the new, as the old saying goes, ol' friend.


The Battle for the YOUTH of AMERICA

So, there's basically a long weird battle being fought to win over that meaty demographic of Americans aged 20 to 29 right now. When you understand this, a lot of the current political climate, I mean a lot, starts making a fuck-ton of sense.

Where does this age group attain information? Where do they congregate their ideas on politics? Where do they spend half of their waking hours with their eyes fixated to?

The answer to all those questions, ol' friend, is ... The Internet.

All political parties want to bring politics to this demographic whether they want it or not. Political advertising on the Internet has become a billion dollar industry. Many parties and organizations are fighting for the minds of the Youth of America. If you ask me, the war over the minds of America's meatiest demographic on the internet ... is getting ugly, stupid, and annoying. Annoying as fuck.

All internet venues have been deeply politicized. All of them. Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and everything else. It's politics city on the internet now a days. It never used to be like this. Politic sites on the internet used to be laughed at as the babblings of old people and of whackoes ... now you can barely even have a scrap-booking blog or cooking-recipes blog without having to take some sort of side in the ideological war being dredged out.


Meet the New Ideological War ... Same as the Old One

America surprisingly hasn't changed much in 30 years.

Those baby boomer fifty-fivers? If they grew up in a big multi-cultural city and have had friends of different ethnicity since they were small children ... there's a good chance they are "Liberal" or "Democrat" or "Left Leaning."

Those other baby boomer fifty fivers? The ones who grew up in a smaller rural area and lived a more secluded life from other ethnicities and different ideas? Chances are they are "Conservative" or "Republican" or "Right Leaning."

This is no different than the current 20-29 age group. The same divide exists there. Thirty years didn't close the gap very much and synthesize the two polarized entities. The 20-29 year old meaty demo still adheres to this basic split.

The current amazingly all-invasive on all-platforms ideological war over the minds of those 20-29 still use the same basic plot points as was used in the battle for the fifty-fivers. The talking points and plot lines are woven of the same old wool ... the same old cloth, old friend. The same old cloth.

To watch it play out on the Internet, as a passive foreign (I'm Canadian) observer, I think it's one of the ugliest things I've ever seen. It's vicious this ideological war over the fragile minds of America's Youth. It is.

It gets worse though.

As we've seen with those Facebook Russia news stories, foreign actors are trying their best to pull the horses of polarization in both directions. The interesting thing about those Russian fake accounts on Social Media reports ... is that Russia, and other foreign actors ... don't seem to care much about which side wins .... they just care about splitting the division as far as it can possibly go.

The Russian backed fake accounts were on both sides of the political spectrum ... and in all cases were on EXTREME ends. The accounts ranged from white nationalism, to arab terrorism, to black nationalism, and things of that extreme nature. One thing they all had in common was conspiracy theories and other garbage of that nature.

Now ask why? Why do foreign actors not care who wins this polarized war of the minds of America's Tommorow? Why? Because they know a weak America ... is a DIVIDED America. Plain and simple. They don't care who wins this silly little war ... they just want to tie ropes to horses, bulls, oxen, and try to pull each side apart as far as it can go ... like some sort of big dumb dirty Russian rectum stretcher.



What's The Take Away?

Alright, let's sum up, old friend...


1) America's meatiest Demo is aging and going to that ol' gas station in the ol' sky.

2) America's newest meatiest Demo is 20 to 29.

3) There's an extended and very annoying battle for the minds of America's 20 to 29 year olds being waged on all venues of the internet.

4) The battle is a familiar one that aims to cajole the minds of America's youth into a certain fan base.

5) Foreign parties are trying to deepen the depth of the wedge of the divide ... like some sort of gross Russian Rectum Stretcher.


Look, America, it's the Christmas / Holiday Season coming up ... the greatest time of the year. I know, America's 20-29 years olds, that there's a big internet war going on to stretch your mind out ... but you gotta keep your mind tight, old friend.

As for all of you narrative dealers, and scurvy poli-trick-or-treaters .... can you for ONE MONTH just please, please, please, PLEASE ... stop ruining the friggin' internet? Please.

America's Youth, listen, this is the beautifulest time of the year ... and I know there's horses and bulls and snakes and fire-ants and oxen pulling at the heart strings of your human mind everywhere you look .... but your mind can only stretch so far .... so take a break and put a little love in your heart, old friend.

Peace out n' Keep Your Mind Tight, America.

"Modern Baseball Era" Players for Hall of Fame - A Hypothetical Ballot

I followed the Hall of Fame voting in Baseball's Hall of Fame for many years and wrote various essays on different topics related to that over the last ... well ... since I started writing essays for fun online back in 2011.

Tim Raines - The Legend

I used to do every year at this time a "Tim Raines for the Hall of Fame" essay .... it was like a winter tradition.

Now Tim Raines is in the Hall of Fame, so, I guess that tradition can be laid to rest. Which is good because I ran out of material at one point and wrote about all kinds of Rocks once.

I had other ones too. I did a hypothetical hall of fame ballot one year, as if I had a vote, how I'd vote. Which was fun. Hall of Fame votin' time is a magical time, indeed.

Baseball's legend Al Oliver tweeted something the other day that helps explain why this season, Hall of Fame votin' season, is so magical ... he said:

"...THIS IS AMERICA.RIGHT-WRONG OR INDIFFERENT. EVERYONE HAS THEIR THOUGHTS."
- AL OLIVER (BASEBALL ICON)

(Source: https://twitter.com/Alscoop16/status/934593747412836352)

Baseball History is pretty rich if you ask me ... and that is the reason why Hall of Fame votin' Time is so wondrous and full of glee. Right, Wrong, or, Indifferent, everyone has the right to state their opinions. You don't need a Baseball Writers Association of America seat on some committee or some position of authority to have a voice. All baseball fans have their thoughts, their memories, their opinions ... and that's great.

If you grew up in one city you might have a very different view on who's a Hall of Famer than that of someone who grew up in another city. Everyone's seen different things, heard different things, felt different things, over the course of their lives ... and it's when all those voices meet that we begin to paint a very vivid picture of consensus.

Democracy may not be easy, democracy may not be fun all the time ... democracy might be a winding road of thorns n' brambles when you least want it to be .... but it's what we got ... and even if you're right, or even if you're wrong, what's important is that you participated and let your opinions, thoughts, and feelings be known.

Al Oliver is right. I may not be a big time guru of baseball, or the crowned prince of analytics, or the grand daddy of what's right .... but that doesn't matter ... if I feel like writing a Hypothetical Ballot of my thoughts on the Modern Baseball Era players under consideration for the hall of fame then that's what I'm gonna do ... and if you wanna read it ... then, hey, that's great too.


The "Modern Baseball" List

Baseball in 2016, divided up History in a manner I find interesting. They cut up baseball history into Four chunks. They are:

"Early Baseball" (colloquially oft referred to as the "Dead Ball" era)
Ranges from: 1871 to 1949

"Golden Days" (I like this term it's very Bruce Srpingtseeny)
Ranges from: 1950 to 1969

"Modern Baseball" (I'm guessing the period following was the Post-Modern period)
Ranges from: 1970 to 1987

"Today's Game" (The Game played Today)
Ranges from: 1988 to a time called Right Now

I think it's an interesting sectioning-off of chronology ... some of the cutoffs seem sort of arbitrary but that's okay. They have to keep it professional, obviously, being the official arbitrator of Baseball History, but I think a completely colloquial categorization would be something more like this:

"Dead Ball Era"
0 (beginning of baseball is debated so I'll call the beginning "Zero") to 1919.

This era is before they had real gloves even. Stats from this era are never counted as official because the records are sketchy and not defined. For example a "stolen base" could have been anything from advancing on an error to legging out an extra base on a ball hit into the gap. Stats mean very little from this era due to inconsistencies.


"Glory Days"
From 1920 to 1959

I like the Springsteenian denotation of "Golden Days" but I'm gonna Springsteen it up a notch to Glory Days. This is the Babe Ruth era you'd call it ... where baseball had its first mega like superstar of behemoth proportions. Babe Ruth was more than just the "face" of the game ... he basically was the game for a brief portion of time.

People have to look at some of the parks from this era when considering the stats. Like Ebbets Field for example was 297 feet out in right field corner. Like, some parks didn't even require 300 feet for a home run which explains a lot of the offensive stats from this era.


"The Big Time"
From 1960 to 1994.

The game became very popular after the Glory Days, everyone wanted a piece of the pie. The fiscal and money parts of the game expanded. Revenue, expenditures, wages, etc. all went up big time. The game was no longer a beautiful little pass time but a Super Popular Mega Attraction. Stadiums went from 15,000 seats to some as large as 50,000 seats.

In 1981 Wrigley bubble gum sold the Cubs to Tribune (WGN, etc.) and thus the first media conglomerate owned a baseball team. To under score this in history is a great miscalculation. Radio, TV, and advertising all became intertwined with the game. Baseball went from penauts and cracker jacks to Mass Media. One 15 second Coca Cola commercial could net a team more money than selling out a stadium.


"Steroid Era"
From 1995 to 2010

Coming out of the strike which hurt relations with the fans ... efforts were made to make baseball the Big Thing again and homeruns was where they wanted to go with it. Whether it was the balls being altered, the weird concoction of chemicals players were altering themselves with, or a combination of both ... people hit a lot of homers in this era.

The average fans love this era and see it as like the most exciting era of baseball ever but a lot of historians aren't fond of this era at all. They believe it turned baseball into a freak show and damaged the reputation of the game. Records didn't mean anything anymore they felt.

A lot of players from this era, some of them HUGE NAMES, are having trouble making the baseball Hall of Fame due to the negative stigma this era carries.


"Present Era"
From 2011 to Now.

Self explanatory. Offense is back up now after being down for about 5 years. People suggest the balls are being whacked up again or something. Either way baseball now is pretty A-Okay.




That's how'd I'd section up baseball history. But, that's not really here or nor there, really. Just a bonus opinion.

The Hall of Fame committee will vote on players who missed entry to the Hall from various eras in upcoming years. Early Baseball will be perused over in 2020, Golden Days will perused in 2020 and 2025, while Modern Baseball will get perused often in 2017, 2019, 2020, and 2025.

So guys like Dick Allen, Mike Marshall, Jim Kaat,  Al Oliver and others will get a chance again in 2020 ... that's a ways off. The "Modern Era Ballot" is being debated early and often it looks like. The names on said list are the following:

Steve Garvey
Tommy John 
Luis Tiant
Don Mattingly
Jack Morris
Dale Murphy
Dave Parker
Ted Simmons
Alan Trammell

There's two names on that list that seem more oriented for the "Golden Days" list ... I mean Tiant and Tommy John were bigger in the 60s and 70s than they were in the 80s ... hmmm .... this leads me to believe people I thought would be on the Glory Days ballot probably won't be (i.e. Kaat, Marshall, Allen, Oliver, etc.).  

Oh well, that's how it was sliced so we gotta work in the confines of that. The following is my OPINION/THOUGHTS on the above names from my experience pool of baseball thinking ... I confess before hand that many of my opinions on these players are biased ... and I don't care ... because I'm writing this article for fun so .... you know.



YES? .... or No?

This rating of these great baseball players will be divided into Pros, Cons, and Miscellaneous.  It is in no specific order.


Steve Garvey


Pros: Good Hitter, Work Horse who often played every game per season, Gold Gloves

Cons: Gold Gloves were First Baseman Gold Gloves, Wasn't a A+ Hitter.

Garvey is like Mattingly, when I get to Mattingly I'll probably save time by writing "See: Garvey, Above".

First Base is an easy position because every player in the infield is making an effort to make your life easy. The infielders are trained to get to ground balls fast and relay it to you in the most efficient and easy to execute means. After Designated Hitter, your first baseman, is usually your worst fielder. So a first base gold glove is more like the award for "Best Worst Fielder on the Diamond" which is not a great award ... it usually winds up in the hands of a first baseman in a large market like L.A. or New York ... and that's why Steve Garvey and Don Mattingly have a wall of them at their houses ... because they were the first basemen for the L.A. Dodgers and N.Y. Yankees respectively.

Therefore Garvey needs some pretty good offensive stats to be a Hall of Famer ... and his career .775 OPS isn't sky scraping or earth shattering.

If he was a gold glove thirdbaseman with a .775 OPS and all those meaty RBIs then fine ... but as it stands .... I'm gonna go with a big NO on Garvey.

Stance: No.



Tommy John

Pros: Great Pitcher, Longevity

Cons: Lost time to injuries, wasn't best pitcher of his era, No Cy Youngs.

Miscellaneous: Has surgery named after him!


Tommy John pitched his ass off, then his arm basically tore and broke, so he took ligaments from his knee and replaced his broken arm stuff with knee stuff ... and then pitched until he was 46 years old.

This is a folk lore style story, something you'd see in a movie ... but it's real life, that's true. His stats and story warrant him entry, I do indeed believe.

Stance: Yes.




Luis Tiant

Pros: Great Pitcher, Could Smoke Cigars whilst Showering

Cons: Stretch of 3 Bad Seasons, No Cy Youngs.

Miscellaneous: Was a Cuban Defector before that was common.

Tiant has a slew of great seasons mixed in with a slew of rough seasons on his stat card. He's not a shoe-in that's for sure. I'm 50/50 on him from his stats. He's got a back story which is interesting though.

Tiant left Cuba to pursue his dreams and has remained outspoken about the Castro regime to this very day. A lot of young people who wear those communist T-Shirts with Castro's face on it, or even the Prime Minister of Canada who's a big Castro fan should listen to people who defected that regime to understand how dangerous it was there.

Since my vote really has no bearing on the future, and since I'm 50/50 on it, I'm gonna just go with Yes for the sake of it.

Stance: Yes.




Donny "Baseball" Mattingly

Pros: Great Hitter, Lots of Ribbies, Gold Gloves

Cons: Short Career by HOF standards

Miscellaneous: Side Burns heat on Simpsons with Mr. Burns very memorable


See: Steve Garvey Above. (See told you). Goldies are all gimmick because he was a first baseman in a large city ... he has 9 of them ... probably has like a closet full of goldoes. He has less longevity than Garvey but was a much better hitter than Garvey ... so they even out at about the same overall caliber.

Stance: No.




Jack Morris

 
Pros: Good Pitcher, with seven wins in the post season.

Cons: ERA tended to balloon up to over 4 quite often.

He pitched in a lot of post seasons and was the World Series MVP with the Twins ... so his credentials are pretty good.

He's still got the mustache too ... which is commendable. It's getting to Honky Tonk Man territory though. I mean if your 80s gimmick is still your 2017 gimmick that's cool but I mean the cut off point I think is seeing the Honky Tonk Man wrestler with his Elvis hair (not a wig) in 2017 ... I think that is like a demarcation point in the sand when a 80s gimmick went on too long.

Morris's iconic 'stache isn't of Honky Tonk Man level over-done yet though as far as 80s gimmicks go. As for Hall of Fame, a close but regretful No, here. His ERA is 3.90 for his career which is just too close to 4 I find. The World Series MVP and cool mustache pack some punch but not enough to swing him into the solid Yes column.

Stance: No.




Dale Murphy 



Pros: Power.

Cons: Missed any "Sure-Thang" Stats like 3000 hits or 400 homers.
  

Dale missed that 400 homer plateau by 2 homers ... which is one of those big numbers the writers like to see. If he hit two more homers he'd probably have gotten a lot more consideration. Similarly with Fred McGriff who missed a plateau by inches I think the adherence to these "sure thing" numbers shouldn't be written in stone.

What is the discernible difference of a person who hit 398 homers and a guy who hit 400 homers? I don't know. Or with McGriff who sat at 493 homers instead of a hitting a nice round number like 500?


Murphy had "5-tool" seasons as well of running well, defending well, judging the strike zone well, hitting well, and power alleying well.

Mouphy

The year he got 90 walks and 30 steals he scored over 130 times ... in addition to hitting 36 homers. So he wasn't a one dimensional power hitter in any sense ... he had some 5 tool years.

Murph has some big name backers too ... recently the popular cartoon site Homestar Runner gave homage to Murph's iconic "Power Alley" poster whereas Mr. Murphy stood in a damp yet cool alley way with a baseball bat light saber ... which anyone with a brain can admit looks cool.

I'm a pretty solid Yes on Dale Murphy.

Stance: Yes.




Dave Parker

Pros: Stacked Statistical Resume

Cons: No "Milestone Numbers" again .... no 3000 hits or 400 homers.


Like Murphy and McGriff, the old voters never voted for people who missed the milestone numbers. The voters who skipped out on voting for Parker were those types who really looked at the milestone numbers and not the complete package.

The old school voters wanted Iron Men who didn't miss games.

I think the "Iron Man" gimmick is pretty over rated. I mean watching a old Pete Rose or an old Cal Ripken rack up stats while some young go-getter kids were sitting on the bench waiting for their chance to crack the lineup doesn't really impress me as much as it does others. Cal Ripken at 40 years old with a .600 OPS just in the lineup to pad his stats really doesn't impress me at all.

Parker, statistically, is similar to Dick Allen and others who aren't in. He's got monster stats but no real milestone/longevity stats. I mean some of these Dave Parker seasons are Monster Seasons, man. Let's see, 1975, 1977, 1978, 1985 ... he had some Monster Years.

Ripken, as I was using as an "Iron Man" example ... had a career .447 slugging percentage. Dave Parker had a career .471 career slugging percentage. I mean are we supposed to think because a "Iron Man" had more at-bats and larger sample sizes that he was better? I don't think so ... 24 career SLG points is a wide margin. No one can say with a straight face that Cal Ripken was a better hitter than Dave Parker.

Stance: Yes.




Ted Simmons

Pros: Great offensive numbers posted at a rarely offensive position

Cons: Very Little Publicity Ever About this Person


This is a name I am least familiar with on this list, he's not a player you ever hear talked about or written about in baseball circles. Little if ever.

Stats wise, he's like a secret superstar ... only behind Johnny Bench and Gary Carter as the best catcher of his era. Is third best catcher of the era warrant him entry? Possibly, yes.

I don't think he was as good defensively as Bench and Carter ... but he needs some sort of recognition of some sort, no? Being the third best catcher of that era must mean something, Catching is friggin' hard, man.

I've read so many baseball biographies over the years and never seen this name come up. It's rare you hear about him ever. I don't know he's like ... I dunno ... this man needs a publicist I think. He needs a promo guy or something.

If hypothetically I was voting on this and there was a vote maximum ... Simmons would be the first to switch from the Yes to the No column. I'm gonna file him down as a Yes, but like weird Yes ... like a Who Is This Forgotten Man sort of a weird Yes.

Stance: a Weird Yes.



Alan Trammell

Pros: Gold Glover Shortstop with above average hitting prowess.

Cons: Sub par offense numbers, no milestone numbers. 

I wrote about his case already in 2014 I think, so here's that one (with Mike Marshall and Dick Allen):

https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.ca/2014/01/the-greatest-of-people-who-are-not.html


I was a Yes back then, so I guess I'm still a Yes, now. So, yeah.

Out of this current pool he's a soft Yes ... but I'm on record as being a Trammell Yesser so I can't change that plea in this article out-of-the-blue and all willy-nilly, y'know?

Stance: Yes.



Post-Writing Assessment

Okay dokay. What were the binary entries here ...

Solid YES: Dale Murphy and Dave Parker  
Soft YES: Tommy John, Luis Tiant, Ted Simmons, Alan Trammell

NO: Steve Garvey, Don Mattingly, and Jack Morris

I think Dale Murphy and Dave Parker are guys who should have got in 100% ... four of them are guys who aren't sure things but could go either way ... and three of them, I think, don't have solid enough credentials.