If any of you aspiring writers in training want to look at a fun writing style with me, this month's article is another look at an interesting/unique writing style. We've looked at a lot over the years, recently with people like Baum and Ade... but this one is waaaay more obscure. Way more.
I'm not even sure who to attribute this Short Story to, even. It is a story written by a character in a video game inside of the video game's world... and this character is writing it under pseudonym (fake name) within the game. So, it's not even stated which character of the game wrote this GREAT short story, but, there are some hints laid hither-and-dither au soupçon as to which character wrote it ... if you look closely at it.
Before we celebrate the writing style of this character we shall first look at another instance of a Short Story within a video game ... just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about ... because that above paragraph doesn't sound as understandable as I'd like it to be.
Example of a Secret Short Story in a Video Game
(this is not the "Writing Style of the Month"... we'll get to that later)
Shigesato Itoi snuck a Short Story of his, a chapter from "Let's Meet in A Dream," into his video game Earthbound. In order to read this short story he wrote in real life in the video game's world, you must do an outlandishly out-of-the-way task.
In Earthbound, a game where four youths go on a Journey to save the world from terrible aliens, you can buy a house in your hometown. This house costs $7,500.
The time-frame to buy this house is short.... once you leave your hometown, the shady real estate man sells it to someone else... so you have to buy it near the very beginning of the game. Now, let's make this clear, getting $7,500 in the first town of Earthbound is not easy. If you sell all your stuff, sell your baseball equipment, sell a can of fruit juice that you found in a garbage can, sell that hamburger you found in another garbage can..... you will have, oh, about, like 80 bucks.
If you want to buy the 7,500 dollar house... you need to fight like a million crows, wild dogs, and snakes.... and after you do, and you give that humbug real-estate man that $7,500 bucks.... you can go into that house.... and read one of Itoi's very-short Stories.
"Beak-Point Real Estate"
It is a short story about a guy who gets caught speeding, but luckily has a slightly over-weight wife, so he tells the cop his wife is pregnant and in labor, so the cop goes "Oh! I'll give you a police escort to the hospital!", and the guy's like "No thanks, I don't need one" or something like that... and then cop is like "it's okay don't worry, let's go"... and then the guy freaks out and tells a second lie that the baby is a DEMON child and the cop must stay away from it. THE END.
Many an Earthbound enthusiast enjoy to de-construct this scene in the game. It's interesting because, in this house, not only is the "fourth wall" down (i.e. the player's view into the World)... but also another wall is broken down within this house... both FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY! The author of the game is talking to you as the real-life version of himself within the game's world only once these two walls are both broken. It's kinda cool from an artsy sorta sense, no?
I was talking about "Humorists" last article... I really think Shigesato Itoi is a modern day Humorist... I think he is. There's stuff in Earthbound that is .... so good, man. I would place Earthbound, a video game, as one of the great Humorist works of the 1900s (199X in this case). I really would put it there.
Okay, so now you know what a short story in a video game is like....so let's talk about the Writing Style of the Month now!
Erk's Adventure by Hitman Bravo !!!
The Writing Style of the Month being celebrated today is a short story from the video game "Suikoden III"... written under the name of Hitman Bravo, but who even was this incredible auteur who penned this masterpiece within the game? It's a mystery.
Who penned this Masterpiece???
Erk's Adventure is a serial novel that updates every so often in the newspaper published by a character named Arthur within Budehuc castle within Suikoden III. It is buried in the back pages and no one knows who's writing it.
There's clues within the game, and if you do add them all up... it's clear who wrote it. Now, if you haven't ever played this game or don't plan on in the future... you probably won't care who wrote this masterpiece within the game's narrative ... but if you have played it and never pieced it together... the guy who wrote it is ...
 |
| Ace is Hitman Bravo. |
....Ace.
If you're going to read the next few paragraphs it's probably going to be more interesting if you're someone who's played the game... whereas if you have not ... these conjections and evidations which are going to show it's Ace who wrote it.... is not going to have much use/sense to you.
If you pay the teenage-detective who lives in the second sub-basement of Budehuc castle to investigate Ace... after the third investigation he will inform you that...
"He's writing a novel under a funny pen name. Maybe it has already been published!"
-KiddAce will mention that he loves reading and is working on a novel at one point of the game. The characters of his novel are based on himself and people he knows. Erk is Ace, Baker is Joker, and Marine is Elaine.
With the mystery of who wrote this short story now solved, let's read it!
The following is a short story written by Ace in the video game Suikoden III,
"The strongest Adventurer on Earth, Erk de Forever; walked into a trap at the Cyndar Ruins and had to undergo trials. What were his trials? Pure hell. He was caught in a hole, and hot water was poured onto him, Erk, in danger
to be continued...
After getting out of the hole, he turned the tap off to stop, the hot water. It really was a close call. Once he calmed down, he heard a strange sound from the back of the hallway. It was a huge, stone, rolling toward him. "I'll be squashed!"
Erk in danger!
The big round stone was rolling toward him noisily, coming nearer each moment. "Wow!" Erk jumped to the side and dodged the stone. "I was safe because there was a lot of space, If the hallway was narrower, I would have been squashed." Then the ceiling fell down on him!
Erk in danger!
The ceiling falls right on the top of him. But Erk holding the ceiling with both arms, stirred up his spirit. "How about this!" Erk with his tremendous strength, holding up the ceiling and put it back into place. "How about my strength?" Erk walked toward the back of the ruins, but he fell, into another hole!
Erk in danger!
Erk was stuck in a hole again, "Ouch, Curse my luck!" Then, hot water was poured onto him again. "I've botched it up!" The water was very hot and Erk's skin became red.
Erk in danger!
After crawling out of the hole, he turned the tap off to stop the hot water. "What danger! I was going to die!" Then a knife was pressed against the back of his head. "Don't move , if you do, I'll stab you!" said someone, so Erk gave a little laugh and bravely turned around.
There was a beautiful lady behind Erk. “Who are you? Hey, who are you? I’m Marine. The treasure hunter. Won’t you treasure hunt with me?” “Oh sure,” said Erk. “Then let’s go together,” said Marine.
To be continued.
Erk and Marine walk to the back of the ruins together suddenly many needles stuck out, of the wall like crazy. They could be severed. “Look out! The needles are sticking out! We’ll be skewered with them! Erk, do something!”
Erk and Marine in danger!
Many needles came out of the wall. “Damn you needles!” Erk grabbed the needles, and with his enormous strength, put back into the wall. “Erk, you’re really strong. You’re great.” “Yeah, I have tremendous strength.” Erk was relieved, but suddenly a monster came out from the back of the ruins!
To be continued…
From the back of the ruin’s a gigantic and strong looking monster came walking toward them, “Erk! It’s a monster!” Marine was surprised, but Erk stood in its way. “I haven’t seen you for a long time, Monster Baker. I came to get rid of you.” The monster looked down at Erk.
Erk in danger!
"Die!" said Baker and knocked Erk Out! "Ouch!" Erk blew away. "Ha ha ha!" Baker laughed really heartily, shaking it's body. "Pull yourself together!" Marine said, then Baker drew nearer to Marine!
Marine in danger!
Baker, the monster, attacked Marine. Then Baker chopped Marine’s head with its steel arm. “Steel knockdown blow!” “Ah!” Marine fell down. “Maaarrriiine!” cried Erk. Blood gushed from Marine’s head.
Marine in danger!
Blood gushed from Marine’s head, by the steel arm. “Ah, I’m going to die.” “You won’t die just because your head cracked,” said Erk. “I love you, Erk.” “I love you, too.” Then Marine died. “Maaarrriiine!” Said Erk.
To be continued…
Marine died from Baker's attack. Baker laughed heartily and said, "Hahaha! Frustrated Erk!" "Maaarrriiine!" Cry, Erk , cry "Damn it, Baker! I'll avenge her! I'll avenge her!" Erk attacked Baker.
To be continued.
Erk attacked Baker. Baker was tired after attacking Marine, and ran away in a mad rush. "Waaaiiit!" Erk wanted to revenge Marine’s death, and chased Baker, who was running away toward the back of the ruins. Only Marine’s dead body was left behind.
To be continued…
Erk ran after Baker, and then came out to a room full of treasure. “Hey, Baker! If you don’t come out, all the treasure in this room will be mine!” Baker replied, “I won’t let you do that!” and appeared. “Let’s, fight to the finish,” said Erk.
“I’ve rested a bit, so I’ll give you another steel chop!” said Baker. Then he threw his arm up in the air. Erk was brave, so he said, “I won’t lose!!” and attacked Baker. “You nut!” Baker said and attacked Erk with his steel arm.
Baker attacked Erk with the steel arm, “Bang!” The arm hit Erk’s head. “Ouch!” said Erk. “You bastard!” Erk angrily held Baker’s body and threw him on the wall. “Nooooo!” Baker screamed, and died.
After a fierce fight, Baker died. “Good grief,” said Erk, and was surprised by the treasure in the room. “These are the legendary treasures that make people come back to life! Great! With these treasures, Marine could live!” Erk was so happy that he ran out of the room.
To be continued…
When the treasure was placed near Marine's body, she came to life. "I'm alive," said Marine. Erk said,"I'm glad you are alive, Marine." "Oh you're being cute, Erk," Marine said. The ruins then collapsed, and the two run away.
(The End)
Thank you very much for reading "Erk's Adventures"
-Ace (AKA Hitman Bravo)
Obviously, Ace is not the greatest writer of all time.... and whoever wrote this short story in real life was trying to write as a person who is not necessarily very versed at writing.... but.... the combination of all these factors... the real life author trying purposely to write as a bad writer... the translator translating a poorly written short story into English... and everything else involved ... I think it comes out of the blender as being.... GOOD! I really do. I like this story.
I looked back and re-read my short story "The Swamp" that I wrote in this blog a few years ago... and I, re-reading that (a la Krapp)... see a splash, a smidgen, or soupçon of Hitman Bravo in there. I do, I think Ace's style is that good that it even sneaks its way into my brain as I write.
Wanna know something? Cheeseball writing is a guilty pleasure of most, if not all, readers. Do you know why, though? It's because we GREW UP on this stuff as readers.
Let me ask of you, my generation, 80s kids, what is the first books we all read when we were able to start reading whole novels? It wasn't celebrated works of the past... it was cheeseball stuff, guys. It was. If you were a boy ... you probably read stuff like The Hardy Boys, Encyclopedia Brown, and things like that... if you were a girl you probably read Nancy Drew, and... oh man, The Babysitter's Club! If you were a female reader in the 80s you must've read The Babysitter's Club. The Babysitters Club, from 1986 to 2000, sold almost 200 MILLION books!
Cheeseball writing is a guilty pleasure to everyone because we ALL, no matter what generation... grew up and were deeply influenced by greasy, sweaty, oil-dripping writing! We all were!
That's why I don't see Erk's Adventure as being "bad" writing... I actually sort of view it as a high-form of art in a way. I really, not jokingly, think it's a great short story. I do. Enjoying "bad" writing shouldn't be a guilty pleasure, you know? We grew up on this stuff, our first exposure to the world of fiction through words, for anyone in the 1900s, was greasy kid's stuff. The greasiest of kid's stuff. It's so familiar to us that we can't deny that we love it. We just can't! It's part of who we are!
So, I hereby award Hitman Bravo with this month's Writing Style of the Month award!
Conclusion
Don't deny your roots, gang. We all grew up on hokey writing. Whether it was the Bunnicula series, about a pet rabbit who turns into a vampire, or Encyclopedia Brown, or the Babysitters Club ... or going further back to greasy adventure or mystery works in the earlier half of the 1900s.... we all grew up on this stuff.
There's nothing wrong with it. We like it and we shouldn't be ashamed of it. So pick up a cheesy book and read it! Reading is good for you!
...But Don't Take My Word For It!
Sha-neer naaa-neer-neeer Anythiiiiiing! It's in a book, take a look! Ya!
