This pandemic is getting HOPEFULLY to the end of its run...I hope. I mean... honestly... I really really hope it's almost over.
I've been down to be honest. This second-round of lockdowns in Canada's two biggest cities (Toronto and Montreal)... has really drained my staying-positive reserves to its limit, I'd say. I'm having some difficulty envisioning the "light at the end of the tunnel" now.
But..
Then I was reminded of a certain celebration after a previous SARS-related scare...one back in 2003... where a 500,000+ human-attended crazy concert was born out of it... a concert which was very cool but also a concert which was buck and great.
Pandemic-wise, it was not comparable to today's one. The 2003 SARS scare was contained, I don't even think it had any like deaths, if I remember correctly. It was a scare though. People were avoiding Toronto like the plague and their tourism numbers were going down a lot.
To re-iterate it was not comparable, in any way, to this current SARS outbreak. It was not even really a big deal and ... honestly, no one seems to remember Toronto had this, it seems. One of the main things I remember about it... was it was a sort of negative and difficult time for Asian Canadians. I was reading an article the other day that Asians in the USA are having a hard time because people are blaming them... as if they personally, just some kid who was born in the USA, but has Asian facial features... are somehow personally responsible for the pandemic. Which is not true. That was, as I remember, the main scary thing about the '03 SARS thing in Canada was a lot of Asian people were being treated badly and rudely .. as if somehow they were personally responsible for a timeless human problem because of their facial features or accents. I think Asian people are going through a hard time now too and I just want you to know that I love you guys.
Anyways, I hope somehow this pandemic concludes, soon. This second lockdown is not scary like the first one... it's just emotionally draining... and it's becoming harder to remain positive.
So, to remain positive, I'd like to now.... I'd like to.... walk back in my mind... back to 2003.... and remember...I guess in a Jack Kerouacian way... going to the 500,000+ attended SARS-a-Pa-Looza bash in Toronto... because yes, friends, I was there.
Now, I think this will be good to remember this. It is an instance of how society responded to a troubling time, to re-pump-up itself, after a scare, and it was Buck and Everything.
So..... I'm going back in my mind now... you can come with me if you wish... to the 2003's Toronto SARS FEST!
(Yes, This is a real thing, not making it up:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molson_Canadian_Rocks_for_Toronto)
Down Memory Lane... to 2003.... to Toronto!
(If anyone read my short stories... this article is not like those... this is not fiction... this is really a thing I was at in 2003... that I am trying to mentally remember because ... I have the pandemic blues... and want to remember Pure Buckness in the face of rampant global disease).Setting: Downsview Park, Toronto, In Canada, Planet Earth
Me and my friends went to it... and....
...I was separated from my friends almost RIGHT OFF THE BAT. Now, as I remember it I was separated from them as so...
I'm from Montreal, which is a buck city... like, when I go to CFL football games to see Alouettes... it's common for a person to "go buy beer" and this endeavor is like they trot down to the stand, buy like 16 of them, 4x4, stacked on the cardboard holders neatly, come back to their seat and pass those sixteen beers out to everyone around them...
...this is NOT how you buy beer in Toronto! In Toronto, you can buy ONE beer at a time at sports events and concerts! It's insane. It's a one-beer-per-person law at the concession stands, there. It's twilight zone stuff, guys.
So here I am, at this concert, this SARS Fest, back in 2003, it was like the afternoon right now, and so far there's like maybe 150 people in the park... that's it. At most like 200 people there as of then.
So, I go to my friends with me... "Hey, I'm gonna go get beers."... thinkin' it's like going to a CFL game and I will get 4x4 (stacked x2) and bring back like 8 cups of beer for me n' friends to gently enjoy.... but, no.
I had to go buy BEER TICKETS at a BEER TICKET TENT... then walk to another tent and show my ID and proof of age at the ID TENT... then take my tickets and voucher proving my age... to the BEER TENT.... where finally I was allowed to purchese... wait for it...... ONE BEER. Yes, after all that trouble I was allowed to purchase one unit of beer and had to consume it in the "Beer Tent" area. I could not take beer outside of the designated Beer Tent.
Fine... great. Whatever. Now, this took me close to 45 minutes to purchase One Beer (which is ludicrous). I exit the "Beer Tent" and guess what? There's no longer about a few hundred people in the park.... there's HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!
My concession trip, that I thought would take 5 minutes, to bring a buncha cold beer back for me and my friends (maybe find a poutine too or a little bit of that smooth brunswick stew).... turned into a clerical fiasco of immense bureaucratical proportions. I didn't know where they were any longer. My friends, were gone.
Finding them in a sea of people would have been like finding a Human Needle inside of a Human Haystack... so I gave up after about one minute of searching and then made my way for the center of the stage... because I logically thought... "if I was them, what'd I'd do?" ... and thought that they'd go to the front of the stage... that's where people go, no? To the front and be like right next to the band....but no....they weren't there.
I was at the fully front of the stage like right next to it, now. I saw the first half of the SARS Fest... next to the bands. I was at the guard rail. These bands were guys like Dan Akroyd's Blues Brothers, and the Isley Brothers, and The Flaming Lips and stuff. It was cool.
But alas, all wasn't fun and game. The audience was not into Justin Timberlake, at all. They were really mean to that poor J. Timberlake. Fans were pelting him with water bottles. I felt bad for him... but I think the booking of this show was slightly hap-hazard. You can't get like AC/DC and Rolling Stones and then make them do duets with teenage pop stars. It's a weird mix... I felt bad for him.. but understood why the concert people were throwing junk and garbage at him.
Speaking of water bottles... they were scarce. They had no water fountains or free water and at the beginning of the concert they were selling water for 7 bucks for a small bottle... it was the worst concessions at a concert in History of Concerts. Though, I'm reading this Fyre Fest thing was quite bad. Eventually, they understood people will die of heat strokes if they don't just start giving out water bottles to people. I mean, you can't pack 500,000+ people into an old airport or whatever this land was and then have like 100 bottles of water on hand that you are charging people 7 bucks. It was poorly thought-out... like amazingly poorly thought-out.
I had bad like heat-stuff. The left side of my face was peeling off... and I had to find water... bad. I found a station where they would give people one free bottle of water and stuff... and it may have saved my life...
...but the sucky part was... that I was no longer in front of the stage after going to find water... so I saw the main concert bands (Rush, AC/DC, and Rolling Stones) from WAY FAR BACK... like I didn't try to get closer... I just sat like against a tree and listened to it... the acoustics were not that great to be honest.
I understand why Rush doesn't like to do outdoor concerts because they are more of an arena band who know how to do an arena show extremely well. I've seen Rush in arenas more than once and they put on an amazing show in arenas. Seeing them in an arena playing with green lazors shootin' around is an experience, for sure. Rush at an arena is an experience. I've seen them twice at arenas... and they were amazing. They were probably my favorite at the SARS thing too... but I am biased.... because I like Rush a lot.
There's bands who are good outdoors, there's bands that are good at small pubs shows where they are intimate with the audience. Rush is a great arena band... they have honed how to play to 20,000 people in an arena to perfection.
Outdoor concerts aren't always the best acoustics and presentation....
Maybe the best band of the concert, honestly, was the Flaming Lips who knew how to do an outdoor show... they had like balloons and fun stuff. I mean they got the audience involved with bubbles and balloons and cool stuff. The Flaming Lips were memorable.
The Timberlake performances were very memorable too for another reason... he was good... dancing and skillfully dodging water bottles... but I didn't find it funny... or nice for the audience to do that. I mean, I think the people who haphazardly threw this thing together should have had a set goal in mind for what it was going to be. The audience around me at the front of the stage were like rock and roll types, rocking out, and stuff.... they were probably a bit perplexed at why he was there.... but... throwing junk n' garbage at people is dumb.
The main acts were good but ... I'd suggest seeing those three... Rush, AC/DC, and The Stones... in arenas where their sound and their stage performances are exceptional.... outdoors...they are still good and cool though.
So...
Let's recap:
I got sidetracked by beer-bureaucrats... I got separated from my friends before it started, gradually made my way to the center of the front of the stage, almost died of heat exhaustion and of thirst, the left side of my face peeled off... I remember the Flaming Lips throwing balloons at me... which was really cool... and Rush had a washing machine or a dryer on the stage with them... which was also cool.
Oh ... a key item missing from this story was that I did not have a cell phone in 2003. I was a cell phone hold out and didn't get one until like 2004. So, no young people, I couldn't text my friends and ask them where they were, ok?
SARS-A-PA-LOOZA 2.0
This article was short so let's learn from the mistakes of SARS 1.0 so we as a nation, Canada, can plan a cool concert after this current SARS thing is over, ok?
Item 1- Water:
The water must flow like wine. It has to. People might actually die if it does not. I'd have drinking fountains and fire hoses shooting water like blood at a GWAR concert if I was in charge of a concert.
Item 2 - Beer:
The beer must flow like wine, too. I don't mind if it's Coors Light or Bud Light and it's from the tap and it's watered down more too even... but I should be allowed to go to a concession stand, buy beers, and like... drink them.
Item 3- Separation of Genres
I think pop stars should have one COVID festival after COVID ends, rockers should have one, Metal heads should have one, punk rockers should have one.. all in the same week... but on different days.
So my theoretical COVID ENDS FEST should be a week long event:
Monday: Country
Tuesday: Rap
Wednesday: Rock n' Roll
Thursday: Punk Rock
Friday: Funk n' Soul Day
Saturday: Pop Music
Sunday: Heavier Metally Rock
Special Monday All-Day Encore: Duets and Cross-over Medleys
Makes sense.
Item 4- Cool People
I think celebrities should be there too. Like the fun and cool ones.... not the bad ones, though.
Personal Ideas:
This is stuff I'd find cool, but it is only suggestions... for the COVID RELIEF FEST.... they are not mandatory...
Maybe on Funk day George Clinton and Bootsy Collins could come up with a global uniting sort of number that really globally unites society under a more singular groove... you know... just for the funk of it.
I think after the stunning success of Bill and Ted 3: Bill and Ted Face the Music... that our hosts for the week-long extravaganza should be Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves. I think they would really know where to go with it... but also be respectful and at-times demurred because even though we want to rock it loose... we still have to still remember that these are still difficult times for many even though by then the pandemic shall have passed.
I think some newer acts should get a spotlight... I think Nick Lutsko, who was stunningly snubbed by J. Biden when The President was choosing artists to preform at his inauguration... should be on the roster, on multiple days, doing multiple genres and in multiple time slots.
Cross over day... I'd like to see like Dionne Warwick sing a Residents song.... and I guess Devo doing a one-hour long performance with Mojo Nixon. Is Gary Numan still around? Maybe he can sing some numbers with Devo too. Flula Borg and Rage Against the Machine could make for a nice mix and timely duet... and let's try a Yodeling Kid with Kid Cudi number, if time constraints aren't at their limit.
Anyone have any other suggestions? I think mine are good but they are just personal to me though not the mainstream world, you know?
