Interesting topic in the news these days to think about. My last short story, oddly, touched on the fact that Canada has been sold and bought several times in its storied and epic History. Our intrepid, well-to-do, yet comedically buffoonish member of the fictitious regimen of the mounted authorities briefly touched upon the history of Canada... where he explained it was once bought and sold by a German guy to a fur trading company... which is probably not known by most... but is factual.
The fact that we did indeed get our official flag in the nineteen sixties was factual as well... many don't realize that either. We got our flag when the most popular show on television was the Beverly Hillbillies... to sort of put that into perspective. By the time Barnaby Jones came about... by that time... we had an official National flag.
We are a severely real and totally important country by all measures.
I've long had a fun theory regarding stamps from around the globe. Many hobbyists over the years have collected stamps though now in the digital age it has fallen out of style. My theory is the following... The smaller in importance a country is... is PROPORTIONAL... to how self-important their stamps are. It sounds funny but there's something there.
We see The USA and its stamps... the USA being a well-known and powerful nation... and their stamps are silly/fun things. It's things like... the Elvis Presley commemorative collection for a limited time only while offers and supplies last... or the McRib... or something on their stamps. It is a powerful entity yet their stamps for the most part... represent silly things. They are an important country with stamps that display non-pompous depictions.
Next, let's take a made up example of a country so small it doesn't even exist (not to offend anyone)... let's say a fictitious balkanized ex-Soviet state named... Oh I don't know... Bozobakastan... population of 230,000... GDP of five million. Do you think Elvis and sandwiches are on their stamps? No. Their stamps would likely have the Regal Royal Ruler of All the Times and For Always... Colonel Bakabozo... saluting and officially blessing each and every letter sent from person-to-person with his official seal of complete and utter excellence ensuring each and every letter has luck on its side to make it to its destination.
Now where does Canada fit on the scale of self-importance created via photos on stamps? Do you think it's on the side-burned singers and tasty fast food side... or does it lean more to each of its letters sent in the post more towards that glorious nation's letters being blessed by its super-sovereign seigneur/deity?
Well... the most used photo on Canadian stamps over the decades is... the Queen of England. God rest her beautiful soul. Hmmm. Yes. Her regality does in fact officially officialate your Christmas Cards and tax returns with her unending splendor and glory. Sorry... I mean... splendour and gloury.
I don't really know what Canada is gonna do with all the things named after the Queen now that the new ruler of England is a new guy. There's so many stamps and currency... and so much else... that needs to changed to the new ruler. It's a daunting task actually.
It's not always a good idea to mention these things to Canadian people, by the way, things like we got our foliage flag around the time the Brady Bunch premiered, and we were once sold by a German fop prince to a gang of beaver skinners... or that everything on our money and stamps is devoted to a pomp royalty from a foreign distant land. These are things that would be considered as simply not true and foolish if told to someone... though they are in fact the case.
Anyone born in the 1970s and later really views Canada as some sort of great nation of complete global importance. To them the idea in the news these days that Canada can be bought and annexed is completely foolish and impossible.
It's just too powerful a Nation to be considered a company to be bought and sold. It has the.. wait for this... it has... if Canada was a company (like it was considered for hundreds of years)... it would be in the TOP TEN of all North American companies! Almost right up there with Apple and Amazon!
Apple GDP: 5+ Trillion
N-VIDIA GDP: 4+ Trillion
Microsoft GDP: 4+ Trillion
Google (Alphabet) GDP: 3+ Trillion
Amazon GDP: 3+ Trillion
Facebook (Meta) GDP: 2+ Trillion
Canada GDP: Almost 2 Trillion
Walmart GDP: 1+ Trillion
We're almost as big as Facebook! Nvidia is that high on this list? The guys who makes our video cards for our computers are almost two times as economically powerful as Canada. That's something to think about.
Anyways... what do I think the odds are of Canada becoming the 51st state? I view it as 0%.... part of me thinks it would definitely benefit most people. Simply just having the American dollar alone would basically be helpful to the majority of citizens. It is odd for us... that... some people who live on the border of say Maine or Michigan... you can basically cross the street... and your money is instantly worth HALF of what it was on the other side of the road! That, in itself, is a problem.
The reason it can't happen is that there's too many political things that would make it less feasible. America would look pretty bad if it just annexed its long-known ally which would be bad press.
Another reason is the french minority group in Canada that has grown accustomed to living its way would not mix well in an American landscape. We've learned to deal with them doing odd stuff over the years like trying to ban English in public and stuff like that... because we kind of accept they are a minority in North America and understand where they are coming from... but could you imagine the American President reading a bill from its 51st state asking for the banning of English in public? It would be laughed at like it was a complete joke. They wouldn't be able to learn to accept the things that come out of French Canada. It wouldn't go over well with them.
Another big reason is Canada has sort of isolated itself since the 1970s as this very nationalistic group. It's oddly nationalistic. If a vote came up that really asked... "Should Canada cease being Canada and be an American State"... the vote would be something like 10% for and 90% against... they are deeply entrenched in their beliefs that Canada is not only a glorious nation but many even believe it is more powerful, somehow, than the USA.
So... as much as it would be a topic to discuss... I don't think it would be fun if a vote like that really were to happen... I really believe anyone in the 10% "for" group would be labelled as traitors and bad people... etc., etc., and be scorned and stuff. So it wouldn't be a happy time if a vote like that happened. Violence, chaos, etc, etc, etc.
What about Greenland?
Yeah! USA should buy Greenland! North Europe isn't doing anything with it anyways... it's basically an uninhabited ice world clocking in with a GDP of only 3 billion.
What are the Northern European people doing with it? Probably just fooling around up there... that's what! It has potential dams for Hydro Power, fossil fuels... n' all kinds of stuff up there... and what are the Northern Europeans doing in Greenland? Fooling around up there... that's what their doing up there.
I've never been to Greenland but I'm assuming.... what they are doing over there probably looks something like this:
They are just FOOLING around up there in Greenland! Purposely, over-and-over-and-over ad nauseam falling into lakes repeatedly and repeatedly... that's what I am assuming they are doing up there. They have all that land and all that power to be honed and generated... and I am sure... that they are just taking exaggerated tumbles into lakes as they lose their minds to cabin fever and isolation.
Well, Northern Europe... we'd all like to take overly exaggerated prat tumbles into beautiful lakes but we don't have the time. It is being predicted in 2050 as populations and industry expands globally... that we will need double the TWh (terrawatt hours) to power the earth! We can't sit on resources like the hydro and fossil fuels that exist in Greenland just so we can take baths in orange juice! OKAY!?
If I was the USA, I'd purchase Greenland in a heartbeat. It has too much power up there. It needs to be economically-soundly and ecologically-soundly developed for global power consumption. We simply cannot afford the leisurely life of talking to our imaginary gnome-friends and pouring ice on our heads! There's a time for leisure, Northern Europe, and a time for action.
It's time to sell Greenland. Do the right thing, Norway.
Note: (That man in that video DOES NOT represent Northern Europeans (Scandinavia, Norway, etc.)... they are interesting varied peoples... he's a very unique man named Apetor (I think)... who sadly passed away a few years ago.)
RIP Apetor.
Note II: (Under further review the man in that video is NOT, I repeat NOT, in fact, Apetor).
Note III, added Jan. 22 of 2025: (My theory of stamps is NOT developed by me... here is a similar theory by Jean Shepherd from 1974. His theory is called the Theory of Stamps: The reciprocal relationship between the elegance of the stamp to the declining nature of the country. Mentioned here).
