The Greatest Lead-Off Guys Evar!

Gonna do this blog's seasonal trademark "Rock for Hall of Fame" article earlier this season, this is of course the 4th annual article of this genre.

Previous "Rock for Hall" articles:

1. Rock and Roll #1
2. Rock and Roll #2
3. Rock and Roll #3

This time around, we'll be looking at the greatest leadoff guys of all time and we'll see how Raines fits in with that class of baseball player. Players will be ranked in relation to 5 tools and will be given a Numeric-based rating in those five-tool variables. The variables will be the following...

1. Gettin' On Base (either using his bat to attain H or his eyes to attain BB).
2. Hittin' da Gaps and Down da Lines (to attain 2B and 3B)
3. Blastin' Bombs (to attain the coveted HR)
4. Runnin' Game (the ability to attain SB, to go first-to-third, and to go second-to-home)
5. D-Fence (ability to handle his position, make crazy cool plays, makin' it look easy, throwin' out runners)

Now, since this article is attempting to specifically rate "Lead-Off Guys", the weight of the ratings will not be the same for all 5 tools. The tools that exemplify a lead off guy will be given a higher weight. Lead off guys are expected to be on base, to get himself around the stations with his speed, and ultimately to cross the pentagon-shaped plate and add a run to the scoreboard. The weights are the following....

1. GOB: 5pts
2. HG&DL: 3pts
3. BBomb: 3pts
4. RG: 5pts
5. D: 3pts

As you can see, due to the article attempting to rate lead-off hitters, gettin' on base and gettin' around the bases via speed will be given a bonus in weight for the ratings. A maximum (best) rating can be 19 points whilst a minimum (worst) can be a rating of 0. Obviously "D" is the most difficult rating to apply because these stats are harder to qualify to achieve analysis....to me "D" is mostly qualified by the difficulty of position they played and since almost all of the guys listed here are outfielders then the only real difficulty is that Center is more of a taxing position then Left/Right.  If they manned Center they will get a a better rating than if they manned Left/Right, and if they were notably bad fielders they will get a poor rating.

Alrighty, let's start...


Rickey

Rickey Henderson was pretty damned amazing and I think everyone who knows baseball history knows that, so, since this article wants to focus on lesser-known players who aren't hall-of-famers, we won't spend too much time on Rickey. Everyone knows Rickey was pretty darned good. If you watched baseball for even one second the eighties or nineties you knew Rickey was a superstar.

Career Stats:




Plate Appearances (sample size): 13,346
Hits + Walks (GOB): 3055 + 2190 = 5,245
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 510 + 66 = 576
Homers (BBomb): 297
Steals/Attempts (RG): 1,406/1,741 (success rate: 80.75%)

Career OBP: .401
Career SLG: .419
Career OPS: .820

Position: Left Field (not known to be a notoriously bad defensive player)
Nickname: Man of Steel

Yeah, Rickey has some nuts stats. He's crossed the plate more times than any other human being in the history of Major League Baseball...no one has ever scored more runs than Rickey. Everyone already knows he was the best lead-off guys ever and everyone during his career and after are compared to him.

The only negative things that are said about Rickey is usually based on the assumption that he was a somewhat selfish player and had the reputation of being a "stat-padder." The most notorious example of this is during a game against the Brewers where Rickey's Padres were winning by a great margin and the opposing Brewers had no chance to win the game...Rickey stole second just to pad his stats...and Brewer's manager Davey Lopes flipped, ran out of the dugout to second base, to kick the shit outta Rickey and tell him that he was getting drilled the next time a Brewers' pitcher faced him.

Henderson was known as being a stat-padder who loved to see his stats increase and didn't care whether him being caught stealing would harm his team (like trying to steal third with two outs), or enrage the opposition (like stealing bases in late-innings with a huge lead).

It's hard to find anything wrong with Rickey due to him being a literal Super Star...the only other thing I can think of is that Rickey didn't understand pluralization as we can see from his Hall of Fame speech, Rickey puts an "s" on words that don't need them and doesn't put an "s" on pluralized words. Observe,

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcd0fdt4JyU)

I know that not using pluralization in linguistics wouldn't really affect his ability to play baseball but it's hard to find anything wrong with Rickey...you really have to nit pick because he was pretty much possibly the greatest position player of all time.

1. GOB: 5
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 3
4. RG: 5
5. D: 2

Total Score: 18



Rock

Tim Raines is undoubtedly my favoritist baseball man who ever lived.

When I played that little league baseball, my batting stance looked like his, and everything else. I thought Tim Raines was the kewlest guy evar.

No doubt about it.

Career Stats:




Plate Appearances (sample size): 10,359
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2605 + 1330 = 3,935
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 430 + 113 = 543
Homers (BBomb): 170
Steals/Attempts (RG): 808/954 (success rate: 84.69%)

Career OBP: .385
Career SLG: .425
Career OPS: .810

Position: Left Field (not known to be a notoriously bad defensive player)
Nickname: ROCK

Tim Raines is the reason all my sweat-pants as a kid were ripped to shreds. I used to compulsively "steal" the objects. furniture, and fixtures around me as a child-unit. I used spend hours running and sliding into inanimate objects. I'd steal the sofa, then the chair, then the t.v. stand, then run upstairs and steal the other sofa, some kitchen chairs, slide into a bed or two, head first slide into the fridge....etc, etc, etc.

Tim Raines is so cool.

1. GOB: 4.5
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 2
4. RG: 5
5. D: 2

Total Score: 16.5



Willie Wilson

The Royals are such an exciting team to watch in the World Series and I hope they come through and win the 2014 World Series. They are the running team of the new millennium. Young people probably don't know that the Royals had one of the greatest leadoff guys who ever played. In fact, unlike Raines who had the luxury of playing in National League and thus was able to not constantly be compared to Rickey...Willie Wilson was in the AL and played against Rickey and therefore was more in the shadow of Rickey than anyone else. People don't even think about Willie in discussions of this nature yet look at his stats...



Plate Appearances (sample size): 8,317
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2207 + 425 = 2,632
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 281 + 147 = 428
Homers (BBomb): 41
Steals/Attempts (RG): 668/802 (success rate: 83.29%)

Career OBP: .326
Career SLG: .376
Career OPS: .702

Position: Mostly Left Field (not known to be a notoriously bad defensive player) 
Nickname: None

Willie's main strength was slap-hitting singles to maintain a high batting averages (career .285 BA), stealin' bases like a bat outta hell, and gappin' triples (this guy gapped 21 triples in a single season back in '85). His weakness is obviously his lack of base-on-balls which lead him to a poor career OBP of only .326...he could slap his way on to steal into scoring position and quite often gap his way on with doubles and triples into scoring position yet his lack of walks definitely affected his ability to score runs for his team.

As to why Willie was never given a cool nickname? I don't know...an alliteration of the W.W. of his name would have logically made a "W" related nickname easy to produce. His speed being his biggest weapon would have suggested the nickname "Wheels" Wilson or Willie "Wicked Wheels" Wilson would have fit extraordinarily well...yet he never secured a cool nickname throughout his career.

1. GOB: 2 
2. HG&DL: 3 
3. BBomb: 0.5 
4. RG: 5 
5. D: 2

Total Score: 12.5



Kenny Lofton

Next we'll handle ol' Kenny. Who was another incredibly gifted player who has sort of been forgotten since he didn't muster the vote percentage needed to stay on the hall of fame ballot.

He's one of the greatest lead off guys ever but sadly his career only began in the early nineties and the so-called "Steroid Era" was almost ready to go into full swing. If Kenny was born 10 years earlier and put up these numbers in the 80s he would be more highly regarded yet with all the Mark McGwires, Jose Cansecoes, Albert Belles, Frank Thomases, Barry Bondses, Sammy Sosas and Jeff Bagwells of the nineties...Kenny Lofton was pretty much drowned out by meat-heads banging out ludicrous amounts of homers. Still, Lofton's skill set should not be forgotten and his numbers should not be forgotten by baseball history. His career ticket is as follows...


Plate Appearances (sample size): 9,235
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2428 + 945 = 3,373 
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 383 + 116 = 499
Homers (BBomb): 130
Steals/Attempts (RG): 622/782 (success rate: 79.53%)

Career OBP: .372
Career SLG: .423
Career OPS: .794

Position: Mostly Center Field (not known to be a notoriously bad defensive player)
Nickname: None

Kenny was just about a 5-tool player, but as mentioned, he played in an era where muscle-meats were hitting up to 70 friggin' homers a year sometimes, so his modest homer numbers which at times hit the mid teens (14, 15) were nothing special at all. Still, his numbers are pretty darned amazing if you ask me. He got on base a lot, he got extra-base hits, the odd homerun, and ran like a jaguar. despite playing in the heart of the steroid era...Lofton deserves his kudos for the career he had.

1. GOB: 4
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 1.5
4. RG: 4
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 15



Lou Brock

He was THE lead-off guy until Rickey and Rock came along and re-defined the genre. How does his numbers stack up now?

Although his numbers may come up a little flat...people should see Brock as a pioneer for this type of baseball. He was the first guy to tear up the basebaths like nobody else before him.






Plate Appearances (sample size): 10,332
Hits + Walks (GOB): 3,023 + 761 = 3,784
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 486 + 141 = 627
Homers (BBomb): 149
Steals/Attempts (RG): 938/1,245 (success rate: 75.34%)

Career OBP: .343
Career SLG: .410
Career OPS: .753

Position: Mostly Corner Outfield (not known to be a notoriously bad defensive player)
Nickname: The Human Franchise

The big thing here is you notice Lou's OPS is way below Henderson's (.820), Raines' (.810) and even Lofton's (.794)...clocking in at only .753 which is quite low for a Hall of Fame outfielder. He nailed the gaps and got down the lines better than any of the other contestants so far but his low batting averages in some seasons and his low walk rate really hurt his overall OPS.

The benefit for Brock is he was the first player to blow people away with his ability to run around the bases...when he stole 118 bases in '74 it no doubt shocked the baseball world. Still, his numbers don't compare to some of the guys who came after him.

1. GOB: 2.5
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 2
4. RG: 5
5. D: 2

Total Score: 14.5



Joe Morgan

Finally, a non-outfielder! It's the second-baseman, member of the Big Red Machine, and broadcaster Joe Morgan! Yay! Obviously being a non-outfielder he automatically gets max points in the defense column. Morgan will surprise you with his numbers because most don't really remember him as the run scorer he was...they prefer to remember the more flashy Lou Brock instead from that era.





Plate Appearances (sample size): 11,329
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,517 + 1,865 = 4,382 
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 449 + 96 = 545
Homers (BBomb): 268 
Steals/Attempts (RG): 689/851 (success rate: 80.9)

Career OBP: .392
Career SLG: .427
Career OPS: .819

Position: Second Base (with some Golden Gloves too)
Nickname: Little Joe

Joe Morgan will surprise most as being maybe the only guy possible in this article who possibly can be considered better than Henderson. His numbers other than steals stack up, and he played a much more grueling position at second than Henderson did as a corner outfielder. The only knock on Morgan is that his nickname is super-lame.

1. GOB: 5
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 3
4. RG: 4
5. D: 3

Total Score: 18



Brett Butler

A white guy? Yup. Similar to Woody Harrelson in "White Men Can't Jump," Brett Butler was a guy in the late eighties and early nineties who was trying to be the exemption to the adage of "White Men Can't Run." This is a name no one remembers, but his stats might actually surprise you in relation to how they stack up to other players of his skill set.

(Not to be confused with that woman of the same name from that short-lived sitcom).





Plate Appearances (sample size): 9,545
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,375 + 1,129 = 3,504
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 277 + 131 = 408
Homers (BBomb): 54
Steals/Attempts (RG): 558/815 (success rate: 68.4)

Career OBP: .377
Career SLG: .376
Career OPS: .753

Position: Mostly Center Field (not known to be an awful fielder)
Nickname: Grace Under Fire / That White Guy Who Runs

His OPS is literally on par with Lou Brock's yet his running game suffers from all the caught stealings. He has by far the lowest success percentage out of these guys so far...clocking in at an abysmal 68%. Maybe he should have cooled off his running game a bit and just attempted to steal maybe 20 to 30 times per season instead of 60 or 70 times. His OBP is where it is at though and his ability to go first-to-third and to score from second base on a single helped him cross the plate a good deal of times.

1. GOB: 4
2. HG&DL: 1
3. BBomb: 0.5
4. RG: 3.5
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 11.5



Pete Rose

Rose was not a base-stealer but his ability to get on base, go from first-to-third, and cross the plate by hustlin' and playing like "an asbestos dog dressed in a gasoline suit runnin' through hell" lands him on the list of players with this unique skill set. His sample size, however, is absurd due to him getting playing time in his later years when he was definitively washed up...which leads him to have the same reputation as Henderson as being a "stat-padder."

He had OPS numbers of below .700 and even one season below .600 in his 40s while he was still getting close to full seasons of play under his belt. Obviously younger players deserved to play in the stead of Rose yet his name helped him stay in lineups and increase his sample size of numbers well into his decline years.



Plate Appearances (sample size): 15,890 (ok there, yo)
Hits + Walks (GOB): 4,256 + 1,566 = 5,822
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 756 + 160 = 916
Homers (BBomb): 160
Steals/Attempts (RG): 198/347 (success rate: 57%)

Career OBP: .375
Career SLG: .409
Career OPS: .784

Position: All over the damned place (not known to be terrible)
Nickname: The Charliest of Hustles

Rose's OPS is behind Henderson, Raines, and again even behind Kenny Lofton which would probably surprise a lot of people. His base stealing numbers are atrocious and had no business trying to steal bases if he could barely even be successful half the damned time. Still, this guy ran like a maniac and crossed the plate a shit-load of times for the Big Red Machine.

1. GOB: 4
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 1.5
4. RG: 2
5. D: 2

Total Score: 12.5



Craig Biggio

I guess we'll clump all the white guys together so here's Craig Biggio! A guy I saw play a heck-a-va-lot live and this guy could really play ball.

He's a guy who got hit by a lotta pitches too which got him on base even more than usual. He was drilled by 34 pitches one year which is almost Ron Hunt-esque.

Him and those Astros of the late-nineties could run. I remember seeing a game live where Biggio and the Astros stole seven damned bases off of Jeff Juden and Chris Widger in the span of like 5 innings (boxscore courtesy of b-ref). It was Biggio, and Chuck Carr, and some other guys...it was nuts. They were runnin' up a muck...they were really runnin' up a stew.




Plate Appearances (sample size): 12,504 
Hits + Walks (GOB): 3,060 + 1,160 = 4,220 
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 668 + 55 = 723
Homers (BBomb): 291
Steals/Attempts (RG): 414/538 (success rate: 76.9%)

Career OBP: .363
Career SLG: .433
Career OPS: .796

Position: All over the damned place (even behind the damned plate and won goldies at second)
Nickname: Killer B (one of many to hold this monicker)

His OPS sinks him right ahead of Kenny Lofton by a mere 2 points but is distinctly less than Henderson's and Raines'. His base stealing ability was similar to Butler's but unlike his white base-stealin' counterpart...Biggio didn't attempt to steal as much as Butler and only stole in circumstances where he was sure he had a chance to steal it leading him to have a better success rate than Butler yet still well behind others (notably Raines' 84.69% success rate). I wouldn't be surprised if he makes the Hall and he will...but people should take note that he wasn't all that much better than Kenny Lofton by any stretch and Lofton didn't even get 5% of the vote.

1. GOB: 3
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 3
4. RG: 3
5. D: 3

Total Score: 15



Paul Molitor

This guy was pretty darned good himself and "Moh-Lit-Tohr" was a pretty fun last name to say. Sounds kinda like a robot's name.

Molitor played many infield positions but started already getting a lot of DH time by the age of 30, so despite his time at second and at third base...I don't think Molitor should get a full 3 points in the D-Fence field. I think a two will suit him just fine.





Plate Appearances (sample size): 12,167
Hits + Walks (GOB): 3,319 + 1,094 =  4,413
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 605 + 114 = 719
Homers (BBomb): 234
Steals/Attempts (RG): 504/635 (success rate: 79.37%)

Career OBP: .369
Career SLG: .448
Career OPS: .817

Position: All over the damned place (a lot of time spent at DH however)
Nickname: The Ignitor (pronounced Ig-Night-Tohr).

Obviously an amazing baseball player and already deservingly in the Hall of Fame, however, since his OBP and base stealing numbers aren't in the range of some other players it is unlikely he will be the renowned as one of the greatest lead-off guys of all time. Top-5 is a good bet, though.

1. GOB: 4
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 3
4. RG: 3.5
5. D: 2

Total Score: 15.5




Ichiro

Ichiro is an interesting case because half of his career was in the Nippon league and only half of his career was across da pacific pond over here on this side of the planet earth. Still, he's put up some huge amounts of hits with his slappity-slappy-slap style of chip-away hittin' and has some good numbers. I have never in my life seen a live game with Ichiro in it to date which is mainly due to him being in the American League his whole career. I always wanted to see him live.





Plate Appearances (sample size): 9,663
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,844 + 565 = 3,409
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 336 + 85 = 421
Homers (BBomb): 112
Steals/Attempts (RG): 487/596 (success rate: 81.7%)

Career OBP: .360
Career SLG: .411
Career OPS: .771

Position: Right Field (known to be excellent and efficient)
Nickname: 鬼才


Like Brock and others, his OPS looks a little lackluster for a legend. He, like many others, is behind Kenny Lofton and way behind Henderson and Raines. He steals efficiently though and since Japanese catcher's arms are not known to be significantly worse than MLB catcher's arms...I'm tempted to count his 199 bases he stole in the Nippon league yet since this is for the MLB Hall of Fame those numbers cannot in the end be used. If you do take the 199 he stole before coming overseas he'd sit at 686 steals which jumps him ahead of both Kenny and Wicked Wheels Wilson.

1. GOB: 3
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 2
4. RG: 4
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 14.5



Otis Nixon

Goodness gracious and great googly-moo, I can't believe I managed to sneak my man Otis up in here. Yet, his numbers stack up so he's gotta have an entry of his own. He along with Gary Gaetti and Randy Johnson are the only 3 Major Leaguers to ever be referenced on one of the greatest shows ever...Mystery Science Theatre 3000...so he's got that going for him too.

He's also named Otis Nixon, in case you didn't know. Which is a good name.





Plate Appearances (sample size): 5,800
Hits + Walks (GOB): 1,379 + 585 = 1,964 
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 142 + 27 = 169 (yucky)
Homers (BBomb): 11 (that's not a lot)
Steals/Attempts (RG): 620/806 (success rate: 76.9%)

Career OBP: .343
Career SLG: .314 (yeeeeeeesh)
Career OPS: .658 (yowza)

Position: Center Field (known to be quite good)
Nickname: Oats and Whey Nixon

I wrote a song once about Otis Nixon in elementary school instead of paying attention in class and it was the greatest and most catchy song anyone ever wrote.


1. GOB: 2.5
2. HG&DL: 0.5
3. BBomb: 0
4. RG: 4.5
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 10



Marquis Grissom

Sneakin' in another personal favorite while I have the chance and getting another Expo hatted man in here. This article is going on a long time, I started writing this in like the 4th inning of game 5 of the 2014 World Series and now it's the 8th inning...either way...The Grip is bustin' in this article too so make way.

I saw him hit in-da-park homers, score from third on short sac-flies. In his halcyon days...this cat could flat-out storm on the basepaths.





Plate Appearances (sample size): 8,959
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,251 + 553 = 2,804
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 386 + 56 = 442
Homers (BBomb): 227
Steals/Attempts (RG): 429/545 (success rate: 78.71%)

Career OBP: .318
Career SLG: .415
Career OPS: .732

Position: Center Field (known to be quite good)
Nickname: The Grip

His OBP is his main flaw yet his OPS isn't that bad thanks to his late career when he became a power hitter and hung up his base stealin' cleats. He stole with almost an 80% success rate in his early career and snagged 429 bases which is pretty good. I just wanted to get him in here cause he's a cool guy and one of my all-time favorite baseball dudes.


1. GOB: 1
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 3
4. RG: 3.5
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 13



Juan Pierre

Here we go, a modern day player! A guy who played through the Steroid+ era of Pujols, A-Rods, Heltons, and all those guys. If Lofton's stats were washed away by the nineties Steroid Era then Juan Pierre's numbers are DROWNED out by the Steroid+ era. His numbers are damned good too...






Plate Appearances (sample size): 8,280
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,217 + 464 = 2,681 
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 255 + 94 = 349
Homers (BBomb): 18
Steals/Attempts (RG): 614/817 (success rate: 75.15%)

Career OBP: .343
Career SLG: .361
Career OPS: .704

Position: Center Field (known to be decent)
Nickname: The Haitian Sensation

He's a slightly better version of Otis Nixon, yet it's cool that at least one guy in modern baseball is still playing like it's the seventies or eighties...and who knows...with the Steroid+ era in remission we may start seeing a whole lot more Juan Pierres in the big leagues again. Jose Reyes and Mike Trout are both too young to be included in a "baseball history" sorta article like this but they are two guys who can play this way too. That Billy Hamilton is destined to be more of an Otis than a Henderson or a Raines...but that kid in Cincinnati can run too. Modern baseball still has some of these guys left, which is good. The Steroid era and the Steroid+ era didn't squeeze them all out.


1. GOB: 2.5
2. HG&DL: 1.5
3. BBomb: 0
4. RG: 4
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 10.5



Willie McGee

The World Series game still isn't over as I write this (9th now) so I'm gonna throw in some more guys before we close this article out. Make way for that slap hittin' man-of-the-hour...WILLIE MCGEEEEEEEEE! YEAH!

There's not one person on earth who does not love Willie McGee. If you're sitting there and pretending you don't like Willie McGee...then just grow up...you're not fooling anyone...everyone loves Wille McGee. Stop lying to yourself.



Plate Appearances (sample size): 8,188
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,254 + 448 = 2,702
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 350 + 94 = 444 
Homers (BBomb): 79
Steals/Attempts (RG): 352/473 (success rate: 74.4%)
 
Career OBP: .333 
Career SLG: .396
Career OPS: .729

Position: Out Field (known to be decent and won son Goldies)
Nickname: ... (how the fuck did Willie McGee never get a nickname?)

1. GOB: 2
2. HG&DL: 2.5
3. BBomb: 1.5
4. RG: 2.5
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 11



Tony Gwynn

Rest in peace, legend. I saw you live in the flesh hit your 3,000th hit at Olympic Stadium...you were a true legend. Serious.

Tony is in here, but like others he was more in the role of an RBI-guy for most of his career and though he was an amazing player it is unlikely he will be considered one of the best Lead-Off guys of all time.





Plate Appearances (sample size): 10,232
Hits + Walks (GOB): 3,141 + 790 = 3,931 
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 543 + 85 = 628
Homers (BBomb): 135
Steals/Attempts (RG): 319/444 (success rate: 71.84%)
 
Career OBP: .388
Career SLG: .459
Career OPS: .847

Position: Right Field (not known to be a bad fielder)
Nickname: Mr. Padre (get outta here Tim Flannery...you bum, don't ever call yourself that again. That's Tony's name.)

Since this article is rating lead-off hitters, Tony, though having a higher OPS than Rickey and Raines, will wind up with a lower final tally. His role was more hitting out of the number three slot and to drive in leadoff guys...yet he did display the skill set of a leadoff guy. 

1. GOB: 5
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 1.5
4. RG: 2.5
5. D: 2

Total Score: 14



Wade Boggs

Like Pete Rose, Boggs ran like shit...but he did log a hell-a-vu-lotta at-bats from the lead off spot over his career and he was definitely not a power hitter so he has to be included in here too.

There was always something about Boggs that irked me, I never figured out what it was though. Maybe because he looked sorta like Carney Lansford...and that guy seemed odd, I found.







Plate Appearances (sample size): 10,740 
Hits + Walks (GOB): 3,010 + 1,412 = 4,422  
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 578 + 61 = 639 
Homers (BBomb): 118
Steals/Attempts (RG): 24/59 (success rate: 40.67%)
 
Career OBP: .415 
Career SLG: .443
Career OPS: .858

Position: Thirdbase (not known to be a good fielder)
Nickname: Chicken Man (cuz he always ate chicken at the same time before a game)

Wade couldn't homer so he hit at the top of the order a lot, he couldn't run but since he was ALWAYS on base...he scored a lot of freakin' runs, man. He won gold gloves later in his career as a member of the Yankees in '94 and '95...why was he awarded these? I have no clue. He did not excel at third whether early or especially late in his career. He was given these gold gloves simply for playing in a big market city for the Yankees and did not deserve them.

Obviously, like Tony Gwynn...because we are trying to find the greatest lead-off guy and Wade's skill set is more for a number 3 hitter like Tony...his ratings will be hindered a bit in this contest. Wade's a great player but not he greatest lead-off hitter of all time.

1. GOB: 5
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 1
4. RG: 0
5. D: 2

Total Score: 11


Vince Coleman

Great player, well great baserunner anyway, not so much a great hitter though.

It's a shame that he's remembered for that one time he tried to celebrate after a game by whipping fire crackers into the parking lot as the Mets rolled outta Dodger Stadium but he didn't realize fire crackers are extremely dangerous and a little 1-year old girl got burned. He didn't mean it....

Vinny Coleman might give Otis a run for his money for dead last on this list.



Plate Appearances (sample size): 5,970
Hits + Walks (GOB): 1,425 + 477 =  1,902
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 176 + 89 = 265
Homers (BBomb): 28
Steals/Attempts (RG): 752/929 (success rate: 80.94%)

Career OBP: .324
Career SLG: .345
Career OPS: .668

Position: Mostly Leftfield (not too shabby yet unexceptional)
Nickname: Vincent Van Go (like the artist but Go as in Go!)

People remember him in a more glorious light than his stats should indicate. Many even think he was better than Raines. I've read a lot of articles from people who really mis-remember how good Coleman was. He was more like an Otis Nixon or a Gary Pettis type player. He does look pretty fuckin' gangsta in his photo though.

1. GOB: 1.5
2. HG&DL: 1
3. BBomb: 0.5
4. RG: 5
5. D: 2

Total Score: 10



Barry Larkin

Barry was a shortstop, and was an excellent one at that, so like Joe Morgan, he will get an automatic 3 points in the D section. Barry was a great player who played his whole career on one team. He is a hall of famer and legend.

Larkin was a real superstar, but his superstar status is in the fact that he was a gold glove shorstop who just happened to be an excellent hitter. He, similar to Boggs and Gwynn, are incredible players yet not exactly the greatest lead off men of all time.




Plate Appearances (sample size): 9,057
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,340 + 939 = 3,279
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 441 + 76 = 517
Homers (BBomb): 198
Steals/Attempts (RG): 379/456 (success rate: 83.11%)
 
Career OBP: .371
Career SLG: .444
Career OPS: .815

Position: Short Stop (Gold Glover)
Nickname:  B-Lark? (I dunno, he's another guy who never got adorned a nickname)

1. GOB: 4
2. HG&DL: 3
3. BBomb: 2.5
4. RG: 3
5. D: 3

Total Score: 15.5


Maury Wills

Now we're getting way old school here, with guys like Maury Wills. Yet, Wills stole 100+ bases in 1964 so he is a pre-Lou Brock basepath menace...no doubt about it.

Wouldn't be far fetched to call him the trail-blazer in basepath blazin' come to think of it.

Briefly an Expo too...which is cool.




Plate Appearances (sample size): 8,306
Hits + Walks (GOB): 2,134 + 552 = 2,686
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 177 + 71 = 248
Homers (BBomb): 20
Steals/Attempts (RG): 586/794 (success rate: 73.8%)
 
Career OBP: .330
Career SLG: .331
Career OPS: .661

Position: Short Stop (Gold Glover too)
Nickname:  None stated

1. GOB: 2
2. HG&DL: 1
3. BBomb: 0
4. RG: 4
5. D: 3

Total Score: 10


Jackie Robinson

What article about speedy lead-off men would be complete without the Legends of Legends...a veritable Legend's Legend...Mr. Jackie Robinson.

This is the entry in this list from the furthest back in time, all the way back to the nineteen fifties with ol' Jackie.

Jackie, like Ichiro, only began playing in the majors at the age of 28 yet for an entirely different reason. Jackie lived in the USA yet in the 1940's black men were not allowed to play baseball despite their ability to do so. In fact, as most would know...Jackie was the first black man to play Major League Baseball.

His sample size is quite small due to this reason as he only played ten years of ball due to not being allowed to play initially.



Plate Appearances (sample size): 5,804
Hits + Walks (GOB): 1,518 + 740 = 2,258
Double + Triples (HG&DL): 273 + 54 =327
Homers (BBomb): 137
Steals/Attempts (RG):  197/ ??? (success rate omitted)
 
Note: Since Jackie started his career 5 years prior to Caught Stealing being recorded as a statistic...his caught stealing records are incomplete so his steal success rate is left omitted. His stolen bases are legit, however.

Career OBP: .409
Career SLG: .474
Career OPS: .883

Position: All Over (mostly second base)
Nickname:  None stated

1. GOB: 5
2. HG&DL:3
3. BBomb: 3
4. RG: 3
5. D: 2.5

Total Score: 16.5

Note: Jackie's career stats would have been much higher if he was allowed into the league earlier. As stated he only had his rookie year at the age of 28...whilst guys like Raines and others had their rookie year at the age of 20. Had he played a full career he would have likely been the greatest lead-off hitter of all time.


Assessment

Leadoff Guy Leader Board:

1. Rickey Henderson 18 (HALL)
2. Joe Morgan 18 (HALL)
3. Tim Raines 16.5
3. Jackie Robinson 16.5 (HALL)
4. Paul Moilitor 15.5 (HALL) 
4. Barry Larkin 15.5 (HALL)
7. Kenny Lofton 15
7. Craig Biggio 15
9. Lou Brock 14.5 (HALL)
9. Ichiro 14.5
11. Tony Gwynn 14 (HALL)
12. Marquis Grissom 13
13. Willie Wilson 12.5
13.. Pete Rose 12.5
14. Brett Butler 11.5
15. Willie McGee 11
16. Wade Boggs 11 (HALL)
17. Juan Pierre 10.5
18. Maury Wills 10
18. Vince Coleman 10
18. Ol' Otis 10



Note: Boggs and Gwynn were included because they hit quite a bit of leadoff...though they are handicapped due to being more RBI-guys in nature than Run-guys....and this article was to rate leadoff hitters so although they are great players they score lower on here due to not being excellent baserunners and more suited for the 3-slot.

Conclusion

This went on too long, I was starting to look at Gary Redus, Julio Franco, Ryne Sandberg, Robin Yount, Ron LeFlore, Rodney Scott, Mickey Rivers, Juan Samuel, Bert Campaneris, Garry Pettis, Delino DeShields, Omar Moreno, Tony Phillips, Bill North, Harold Reynolds, Dave Collins, Luis Aparicio, Mitch Webster, Eric Young Sr., Bob Dernier, Bake McBride, Tommy Harper, Terry Puhl, Tommie Agee, Warren Cromartie, Ken Griffey Sr, (trouble in da suez!), Garry Templeton, Ozzie Smith, Lonnie Smith, Dwight Smith, Milt Thompson, Cesar Cedeno, Roger Cedeno, but not Andujar Cedeno, Rex "The Wonder Dog" Hudler, Davey Lopes, Lloyd Moseby, Rudy Law, pre-steroid Barry Bonds, Chad fuckin' Curtis, Luis Polonia, Stan Javier, but when I got to Greg Gross...I was like...okay, enough of this shit now. I Can't include everyone ever in here...I'd hafta stay up all night long writin' 'bout leadoff guys.

Anyways, Tim "Rock" Raines, is the third best player of this genre...only behind Rickey Henderson and Joe Morgan. His skill set of getting on base, stealin' bases, and scoring runs was complimented by his hitting prowess and decent power.

If Biggio gets in before Raines...to me...it would be a bit of an insult. Just because Biggio's another one of those guys who got to the arbitrary sum of 3,000 hits he's primed to be a shoe-in yet was Craig Biggio a better player than Tim Raines? No, he was not...I don't even think Biggio was a better player than Kenny Lofton to be honest.


(Note added Dec.10/2014): This article only dealt with retired players and Derek Jeter was still an active player in 2014 so that's why he wasn't listed...not because I forgot or anything like that).

A New Genre of Horror Movie is Sweepin' the World: Reality Horror Movies

People like to watch movies, a lot of people like to do that. We watch movies to generate stimuli in our brains and to exercise our imaginations. There's a vast variety of films we can watch and each genre tries to trigger an emotion within us. There's...

Feel Good Movies: Movies which make you feel happy and good. The good guys win at the end, or the love story has a positive outcome where the girl gets the guy or the guy gets the girl and they kiss or something. These ones are supposed to make you leave the theater feeling all good inside.

Funny Movies: These movies attempt to make the audience laugh by presenting comical or odd or bizarre behavior in hopes of creating an uproar of humanistic laughter throughout the theater. They are geared to trigger your laughter mechanism as the intended emotional stimuli.

Drama Movies: These have a wide range of emotions on the viewer as they live vicariously through the difficulties of the protagonist of the film. The stimuli can vary with this genre.

Action Movies: Cool shit happens in this movie which pumps the adrenaline hard into the audience's high octane brains. These movies should get you wicked wicked pumped.

Horror Movies: These movies should scare the shit out of you hard. You should leave feeling very very scared. It should trigger the emotional stimuli in your brain that makes you feel all terrified and exercise your brain's fear muscle.

Okay, so as the title of this article suggests we shall be focusing on horror movies and highlighting a new genre of horror which is scaring audiences all over the world.


Scary Films

Aeeeeeiiiieeeeee !!!

Do they really still scare you? Surely not as much as when you were a child at least. Yo, when I was a kid scary movies scared the actual fuck out of me. I'll give you some personal examples from my own experiences...

Everything scared me when I was a fucking kid, man. Everything. I was a 'fraidy cat 110%, no doubt about it. When I was a little little kid I used to hide behind the couch when that terrible monster Polkaroo used to bust onto the screen. That green mother fucker used to scare the shit out of me, hardcore. Oh my word. I used to bolt away from that marauding mutant when he came on screen, I'd book it straight to the toy box to get my one-handed Big Bird Hammer to defend myself from that fucking thing. No joke. I knew that green menace was up to no good.

Another one that got me as a kid was that bit on the Street where Ernie goes into the tomb to find a mummy. That bit scared all the crap out of me. Oh my goodness did it ever...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yiqGtZXCmQ)

That doppelgangin' mummy version of Ernie always used to scare the life out of me. Ernie was my friend and he was in great danger in this bit and I felt genuinely empathetically scared for my homeboy Ernie.

The first horror movie that made me scared as crap was the Shining, specifically the scene where those damned twins are trying to freak out that psychic boy on the Big Wheel, that shit was buck scary and a half.

NO !! GET OUT OF MY DREAMS!!

The one that got me the worst though was a Donald Sutherland movie that I saw when I was pretty young where Donnie's chasing his dead daughter around for the entire movie but when he finds her it turns out it wasn't even his dead daughter but just a murderous dwarf...and then the dwarf stabs the shit outta him...holy fuck....I did not sleep for an entire week after that movie. Holy shit.

I gotta take a break. Just thinking about this shit is still friggin' wiggin' me out even now.



Break

Hold up, homies, I gotta recoup. That fucking midget still ruffles my feathers. Deep breaths. Ok.


Back to Scary Movies

Now I'm really old now, and nothing at all scares me. No horror movies on earth could possibly trigger the fear mechanism of the brain of this grizzled veteran. Nothin' at all. I think this is true for most adults. Horror movies don't scare us anymore, in fact, most of us watch them now to laugh at them. Like you see a scene of a chainsaw guy chainsawing up a bunch of people and you don't get scared now...you laugh at it cuz it's funny.

How do we get scared from movies again? It seems we need to up the ante a bit to find a way to trigger the fear mechanisms in our brains again that went off so easily when we were kids. How can that be achieved?

What if the threat felt real? What if the threat hit closer to home? What if the threat in question is even something you do, have done, or even do every single day? Wouldn't that threat scare you?

That's the formula being employed by the new genre of scary movies that are becoming a huge success and raking in a lot of cash these days. I refer to this genre as Sociological Horror Movies and I can almost guarantee you've seen at least one of them.


Sociological Horror Movies

You take something that a lot of people in society do and get them to be scared of it. The cute thing is it could be anything at all. Some examples include...

1. Food Inc (2008): Everyone loves eating, we do it everyday. This is the terrifying horror story of how eating can and will kill your sweaty-ass and you cannot stop it. You're dead.

2. Vaccine Nation (2008): Everyone vaccinates their kids...this is the terrifying horror story of how vaccines will kill your smelly-ass kids and you can't do anything about it except watch them die in your arms.

3. Super Size Me (2004): A mentally handicapped man eats MacDick's for like a month...and almost dies.

4. Fed Up (2014): Sugar, we eat it...but is it really a poison that will murder us? Yes, yes it is. In fact, sugar is worser than cocaine and eating it is like rolling dice...with your own life.


Oh fuck, did you know murder lurks around corners you never even knew? Death lurks around even the most mundanest of corners in this topsy-turvy world of ours? Everything you do can and will kill you until you are dead. Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you? I didn't think so. You're scared aren't you? Scared out of your mind about things you thought weren't even deadly.

Well, to be honest, these movies don't scare me. Why? Because they are really fucking stupid, that's why. I don't want to list the reasons why or this article would be 100,000 words long but here are some good links critiquing these 4 Sociological Horror Movies mentioned above (these are just some critiques of many)...

1. A Corn Man vs. "Food Inc."
2. Jeff Gerber and Paul Offit vs. Vaccine Myths
3. Sweden vs. "Super-Size Me"
4. Harriet Hall vs. "Fed Up"

In the end the emotional trigger these movies have on me is they actually trigger the Hate Cortex in this fucking brain of mine. They don't scare me, at all, they make me angry. I am starting to actually hate organic food weirdoes, to hate people who don't vaccinate their dumb kids, to hate retards who make boring movies about eating at MacDick's, and hate dumbasses who want me to believe that sugar is more dangerous than fucking snorting cocaine. You people suck and your movies suck...they suck shit.

Good Ideas for New Ones

Hey reader, you're a cool guy or a sexy lady with some money to burn, right? Why not invest it into a Sociological Horror Film? They are as easy as pie to make and pretty cheap too and you can rake in millions if it gets big. Struggling for ideas? Just think of something that everyone does and make a movie about how that will end their life. OK, I'll help you out, here's some good ideas....

TV Screens: The Silent Killer (2015): In this shocking and downright frightening documentary, film maker Consalvo Rodriguez, tackles the leading cause of cancer in society today...TV screens. Their soft warm light may not be as safe as you think. The RGB colors coming off your screen and hitting your eyes...will literally fucking kill you so bad.

Socks: Do You Trust Them? Yes? You're Crazy (2016): Rogue and maverick film maker, Allan Mousepad, exposes the truth about socks...they are cutting off our blood circulation and responsible for 123,000 deaths world-wide every single year. Or even 7 million deaths...we can't be sure.

Hair Dressers or Deadliest of Assassins? (2017): You sit down to get your hair done yet with one botched move your hair dresser accidentally jams her scissors into your bitch-ass throat and you fucking die and everything. Experts estimate over ten million people die every SECOND from botched hair cuts. Don't roll the dice of your life...cut your own hair. From the brilliant film maker Johnson Dichtbuergers.


There, you just gotta bang one of those ones out and make millions. Remember to throw in some creepy music and some made up statistics...oh and...remember the golden rule of Sociological Horror Flicks....

...Never ever let the truth get in the way of making a compelling and retarded movie.


Conclusion

I'm sure a lot of people are scared out of their wits with these new fangled highfalutin horror movies, but me? I think I am just gonna stick with watching the old classic genre of Horror...so what if they don't scare me anymore like that crazy dwarf who killed Donald Sutherland did back in the day...the classic horror films still make me smile.

Sociological Horror Films? They don't make me smile...they make me buck angry. Buck Angry.

Maybe Sociological Horror Films isn't the right term to classify them, maybe a more fitting monicker would be something like Straight-to-DVD Retard Movies.

Montreal Baseball Project Marches On: The Legend Continues....

Warren Cromartie's Montreal Baseball Project is going to host another baseball festival in the beautiful Ville de Montréal once again in 2015 to coincide with the two Major League Baseball exhibition games at Olympic Stadium between the Jays and Reds which are scheduled for the next baseball season. A lot of people are pretty stoked and/or pumped about this just as they were when it was announced last year.

Cro has stated that those coming to the 2015 Expos Fest and who'll be crashin' the Big O for these Reds/Jays games will be none other than Mr. Rusty "Le Grand Orange" Staub, Timmy "Rock" Raines, Andres "El Gato" Galarraga, broadcaster Jacques Doucet, and headlinin' will be Hall of Famer and Legend Andre "Hawk" Dawson. Yeah!


The 2014 Olympic Stadium Games

I'm sure it's a joke to a lot of people in the baseball world that someone would be super stoked and pumped about some pre-season exhibition games but you gotta understand that there's still a huge fan base of die-hard Expos fans in Montreal who haven't had MLB come to town in a full decade so it was a big deal for us.

The games against the Mets were done so well too. For game one, Raines was there, Steve Rogers was there, Gary Carter's wife and daughter were there to honor the late n' great Kid, and Cromartie was there to lead the fans in a chant of "WE WANT BASEBALL BACK!" It was nice, it really was. Look, for an Expos fan it was pretty freakin' cool.

Carter's family, Cy, Cro, n' Rock

For game two, almost the entire 1994 Expos were in the house from Grip, to Moises, to Walker, to Johnny Wetteland and everybody in the stands got hella pumped to see those dudes again. For shizzle. I remember watching all these guys live in the flesh the year they went 74-40 and seeing all of them back in the Big O was something I thought I would never see again.

Fletch, Walker, Felipe, n' lancer gaucher Denis Boucher

There were almost 100,000 people who came to the those two games...and I don't know but...something tells me these two pre-season games in 2015 are gonna crack the 100K mark. Something's in the air up in here and I know well enough (most of the time) to classify what is in the air when I feel that something is in the air. What is in the air in this case? BASEBALL FEVER.


Cincinnati Reds: The Best and My Favoritist of Those Guys

Props to the Cincinnati organization for agreeing for their club to venture north to the baseball-less and barren-of-baseball wasteland of Montréal to play a major league baseball game or two in the 2015 pre-season.

I have memories of the all the NL teams and most of these teams I have a favorable view of. Those Cincina-ta Reds are one of those teams I have a favorable opinion of, as such. In order to give props to the Reds organization I would like to write about them...specifically about the best Red and also about my favorite Red of all time.

Best: Barry Larkin

You're talking some heavy duty Reds over the years from Joe Morgan to Pete Rose to George Foster to Jose Rijo and the list goes on and on...but to me I'd have to classify Barry Larkin as the greatest by talent and by numbers Red of all time.

I should say that I may be biased because I personally have seen many many live games involving Barry Larkin. His rookie year was 1986 and he retired in 2004. For me, my first live baseball game was in 1986 and my team moved away in 2004...so my viewing of baseball and the career of Barry Larkin do overlap pretty much 100%. So I personally have never seen, say George Foster, play yet I assume someone who hit 92 homers in the span of two season was probably pretty fucking good. The fact that I've seen Barry play live on numerous occasions may be the reason I believe him to be the best Red ever.

People are spoiled in this era with shortstops who can play adequate defense and hit...but in my era of watching baseball it was still common to see a shortstop who hit .230 as the team's first string shorty. A guy like Barry who could win a gold glove at short, a position which sees well over 700 balls hit to in any given year, and hit well was very rare in previous eras.

He didn't just hit well though...he did it all. He hit for contact (.295 lifetime average), he hit down the line and into gaps (441 doubles, 76 triples), he hit longballs (198 homers), he drew walks (.371 OBP), and even stole some bases (379 out of 456 attempts). To have a gold glove shortstop who could do stuff like this was incredible.

The only real knock on Barry was that he rarely played 150+ game seasons due to injuries. He wasn't an Iron Man like Ripken but he was better than Ripken when he did play.

I know many would disagree with me asserting that Larkin was the best Red ever so I'll leave it as worded like this...

...Barry Larkin was the best Red I ever watched play.


Favorite: Chris Sabo

Sabo was a popular Red who played thirdbase for them in the late eighties and into the nineties. He is mostly remembered for his signature goggles he wore around his head moreso than his hitting or fielding prowess (which wasn't too shabby by the way).

As you can see from this beautiful artistic rendition of his facial features in this Donruss Diamond Kings baseball trading card to the left of the screen...Chris Sabo indeed had signature-ass goggles that made you stop and look at his card when you got it in a pack.

He was nicknamed "Spuds" Sabo by Pete Rose because apparently Sabo resembled Spuds McKenzie from the old Bud Light commercials. For those unfamiliar, Spuds McKenzie was a super cool dog who rocked hard, drank hard, and banged a hell-a-vu-lotta women back in the eighties (including even Debbie Gibson).

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K5BgCI-U7c)

 Personally, I do not see any tangible resemblance between Sabo and McKenzie...

Okay, I admit, the reason Chris Sabo is my most best and favoritist Red evar is simply for the aesthetic and shallow reason that...Chris Sabo looked so fucking goofy in those goggles. He looked like a certified goof ball in those things. When players of the eighties were competing as to who wore the most stylish of fly sunglasses or "shades" if you will...it was visually striking to see Sabo with these literal grandma-glasses fastened to his head with an elastic band. He was the anti-fly...the actual anti-fly.

I understand that eye-glasses would surely fall off a man's skull whilst he had to manipulate his body to whip out baserunners at first or to bang out jack-a-roo hum-dingers...but still...you have to admit that Chris Sabo looked genuinely silly in those goggles.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt6JM_lFBfU)

If poppin' up with yer fly open is cool..then call me Miles Davis!!

I used to advertise my respect for Chris Sabo to the whole world through the use of the T-Shirt as well. The year the Reds were in the World Series in 1990 and Chris Sabo fucking tore up that World Series like it was nobody's fucking business...my parents purchased me a 1990 World Series T-Shirt which because of the play of Sabo in that series had a big huge Chris Sabo head on it (complete with over-exaggerated grandma-glasses). I was like 8 or something years old back in '90 and everyone at school would always be like...

Kid at School: Haha! Who's that big huge DORK on yer shirt?
Me: Oh, that's just Chris Sabo! Isn't he kewl?
Kid at School: NO!

Hands down, Christopher "Spuds McKenzie" Sabo is the kewlest Red in history...unlike the "best" argument where it is debate-able as to who was the best Red...when it comes to the who the kewlest Red is the debate is much simpler. It would be difficult for anyone to win an argument in which they tried to claim that Sabo was not the kewlest Red evar.


My Most Humblest of Apologies to Former Cincinnati Red Ken Griffey Junior

One memory I have of the Reds was something I remember good because it was a stupid thing I did. I was, I think 17, when this happened and to be fair I was not the most maturest of seventeen year old human youths back then.

Anyway, Ken Griffey Jr. was playing kind of crappy in his first year in the National League in 2000 with the Reds, he was hitting like .244 coming into the series on July 28th against the Expos at Olympic Stadium (average on that date courtesy of Baseball-Reference Dot Com). I was sitting on the first base side and witnessed Mr. Griffey pop out and I for some reason had the urge to yell...

..."looks like ya just popped up ya big faggot!"

...and Ken Griffey Junior literally turned and looked directly into my eyeballs...and I was like....

...."Oh shit! How did he hear me!?"

I really didn't think with the noise of the stadium and everything that players even heard when fans heckled but I am 100% sure he heard me and I always felt bad about saying that for two reasons: 

1) Ken Griffey Jr. is a super cool guy and is 100% a Hall of Famer and legend...and it was not polite to make fun of him while he popped up.

2) You shouldn't use "faggot" as a pejorative word because gay people are chill and cool. But yo, back in like 1999 when I was 17 that word was just part of a youth's vocabulary. I mean in my last year of high school if you totaled up all the times a youth said the word "faggot" in 1999.....you're talking about like at least a zillion instances. Still it's not an excuse and I'm sorry for using that word as an insult.

So, I apologize to the gay community for using the word "faggot" as a pejorative word quite often in my youthful days. I never use that word anymore...I have used the word "faggo" in this blog once or twice but that was under instructions from Scott Thompson (no not the Expo one but the Kids in the Hall one) that "faggo" is an a-ok term to say.

According to Kid in the Hall and comedy star Scotty Thompson..."faggo" is chill to say still.

So, 100% I don't ever use the "t" in that word anymore.

Most of all though, I apologize to Ken Griffey Junior because, well, the guy's a baseball icon and legend. He's a first ballot hall of famer for sure (he didn't look even a little bit roided up). KGJ....you are a capital "L" Legend, bro.


Conclusion

Montreal Baseball Project is still going strong. It should be noted that this is still operating in Phase II, many seem to think that MBP has initlized P3 but believe me when Cro initiates Phase III...you're gonna know that's for damn sure because it's gonna be huge.

Hey...you wanna a rumor that I heard about 2016's Expo fest? Yes, Vlad is apparently coming to town but don't quote me on that.

A Tuesday Comparison: Comparin' the Writings of Tommy Malthus to Child Psychology

Wanna do a comparison? Okay, I'm down. Let's compare the opinions of Tommy Malthus to child psychology for a change. It's not like I have anything better to do today.

The Writings of Tommy Malthus 

Tommy Malthus was a guy from the 1800s who wrote about population and resources. He firmly believed that the current resources of the earth could and would not satisfy the rate at which humans were re-producing. He wrote that the future will inevitably be a bleak one of famine and ultimately will lead to the death of humans.

People have taken his writings very seriously over the last 200 years or so and nations have been attempting to get their hands on the supposed dwindling global resources so that their nation will make it through the great famine which will apparently spell the end for them.

Basically he was saying that there's not enough food, water, energy on this earth for everyone and we must fight over who gets to have their hands on it and make it through the "great catastrophe" which awaits us in the future.


Child Psychology

Next off, let's rap loose about some child psychology...

I'm not huge on psychology, in many aspects I think it's a jabroni-laden field of silliness, yet I read a lot of child studies because they are interesting (Bobo clown study and others). One study that I found interesting was children were given toys to play with and then simply observed by the psychologists. What they noticed in many cases was the children would behave very differently when they entered the room full of toys. Some of the children would take a toy and go to a corner of their own and play with it (shy kids), other kids would take toys and play a game with other kids (outgoing kids), then the last type of kid would steal toys from the other kids.

At first they thought, "oh that child must have liked that toy and his/her reason for stealing it was to satisfy a want," and that may have been true in some cases yet the psychologists started to notice in many cases once the child successfully stole the other child's toy...he/she would get bored of it in a few seconds and then go steal some other kid's toy. He or she wasn't stealing for the want or need to have the toy they were observing another kid playing with...they simply wanted to steal because that other kid had it and it compelled them to take it from them. It was the act of taking something from someone else that interested the children who stole toys in most cases.

In the adult world, a good example of this phenomenon is the long-known fact that wearing a wedding ring into a singles bar will attract A LOT of attention. A lot of people wonder why that is but child psychology explains this rather easily...a lot of singles will hit on a "taken" member of the opposite sex for the sole reason of "taking" something away from someone. These lascivious howlers are the same as the kids who stole toys for no reason in the study...they don't even really want to bang the person who is married...what they want is the feeling of taking something from someone and that gives them a thrill or a warm feeling inside.

How Does this Nonsense Tie Together, You Ask?

According to the followers of Malthus, there are a limited amount of resources on this earth and they will only wind up in the hands of those who take them. They only wind up in the hands of the takers. The lonely kids who play with one toy? Fuck 'em they won't survive. The outgoing kids who work together and play with the toys together? No chance, they won't survive. Only the kids who take will survive. Take, take, take, take, take,take, TAKE.

TAKE !!

Take, take, take...

Finder's keepers! Losers weepers! First come! First serve! Take! Take! Take!

There's only so much food, water, energy, and precious resources on this earth! TAKE THEM BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES! TAKE IT ALL FOR YOURSELF! TOO MUCH IS NEVER ENOUGH! YOU CAN NEVER TAKE ENOUGH! TAKE IT ALL! TAKE EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T NAILED DOWN! IT'S DOG EAT DOG OUT HERE! KILL THEM ALL! TAKE ALL THEIR STUFF! THEY DON'T NEED IT...YOU NEED IT!

It's either you or me! No offense but if boils down to you or me...believe you me...I'm picking ME! Now gimme all your stuff! It's Mine! All Mine!

It's mass hysteria out here! Buy a gun! Get ready! It's Mass Hysteria Out HERE!

Does it Have to Be This Way?

Is the population really spiraling out of control? Doesn't seem so. Please let my homeboy, the master statistician, Hans Rosling rap a little loose on this subject...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTznEIZRkLg)

It looks like we are gonna recover from the post-war baby booms which over-saturated the population and numbers will level out. Statiscally, if you are educated and live comfortably...you have about 1 or 2 babies per woman. If you are an uneducated and poor family you have 6 or 7 children. It seems people over-breed when people are dying too often. If a war breaks out and 2 million people die...families will in turn try to balance it out by breeding like crazy. If child mortality rates are high in a region then families will over compensate by trying to make babies like crazy to replace the ones that die.

Those are the facts. It seems the main problem in over-population is simply some regions are experiencing so much death that they are over compensating birth rates. All we have to do is get good hygiene, vaccines, food, clean water, and education to the poorest regions of earth to level out the breeding cycle and it's not as hard as you think. Science and technology is on the case and when they are on the case things tend to get done.

Conclusion

Yes there is 7+ billion people in the world, yet with our technology and science we can feed, clothe, house, and provide energy for all of these people. Once everyone on earth is living comfortably we can level off the breeding cycle and throw Malthus out the window for good.

Forget Amish/Organic farming and let science produce maximum yields. Forget resource based energy production and think about renewable energy production. Vaccinate your fucking kids. That's the type of things that will make a brighter future...not resource wars.

It's not a world for the takers. Not at all. This world is a world for thinkers. This is a world for problem solvers. This is a world for intelligent folks who get the job done. This is NOT a world for takers. In fact, the wars over resources is the real catastrophe and the irony is that they are fighting these wars apparently to avoid the catastrophe predicted by Malthus. It's kinda nuts if you think about it.

Statistician and prognosticator Tommy Malthus' writings have been the opinion of the majority of the world for about 200 years now. Is it time to listen to a new statistician and prognosticator for a change? I mean 200 years was a long time ago, maybe it's time to let guys like Hans Rosling take the helm of the stats/prog scene for a coupla hundred years or so? No?

The Best of the Best: A General Exposé on Chinese Gamblin' Movies

On the right side of the screen of this blogsite (on desktop compies I dunno 'bout mobile) shows all the most well-readed articles. It's been pretty much the same order for a long long time. People seem to check out the video game ones, the one about Beet-a-Juice, the Montreal Expos one, the Corn one, etc, etc.

Lately the hits for the Stephen Chow Journey to the West article have been adding up as it is gaining mild readership like a freight train and poised to become top 3 in the near future.

Hey I only have a few readers so I might as well give 'em what they want, if they want Chinese movie reviews then I'm gonna bang out some Chinese movie reviews. No biggie.

You ready for it ya big readers you? I'm 'bout to knock out a whole slew of Chinese movie review.


Chinese Gamblin' Movies

What is a "Chinese Gamblin' Movie" well it's basically a full length film set in China where people gamble. Simple enough.

The first of its kind was a Shaw Brothers classic from 1976 known as "King of Gamblers" (trailer below).

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0gfOEzg4BI)

Most fans of Shaw Brothers movies know that a lot of the flavor of these films was in their campiness, silliness, and cheapness. This film does not disapoint as its camp/silly/cheap levels are pretty darned high yet this film is just the departure point for the genre and will not be a main focus of this article.

Fast forward to 1989 and the Hong Kong movie scene had grown considerably both talent and funding wise and in this year would mark the true birth of the Chinese Gamblin' Movie. I don't know what you call the "Hollywood" of Hong Kong, maybe "Hongywood", anyway Hongywood thought the 1976 King of Gamblers film was totally bad ass and wanted to make their own totally bad ass Gamblin' movie and they did. They cast Yun-Fat Chow as the lead and a legendary film genre was born.

The first time I ever saw Yun-Fat Chow was when I stayed up super late one night in the mid-nineties and this channel (Showcase/Channel40 in Canada) was showing a marathon of John Woo movies. A lot of people know Johnny Woo because he crossed the ocean and became a big director in Hollywood too (directing Face Off with Cage/Travolta amongst others). Yun-Fat used to be Woo's go to guy for shoot-'em-up action movies and Showcase was playing Hard Boiled, The Killer, and Once a Thief which were all superb Yun-Fat films. In a John Woo directed Yun-Fat Chow movie it was not uncommon for thousands of people to be shot in the face...which is cool.

That's the basics of the genre, now on to the review...


1. God of Gamblers (1989)

(Note: the "Mix" slot is where I try to pigeon hole the film into a mix of movies to give you an idea what you're in for. Think of it like if a movie was like baking a cake how you'd derive the cake via its ingredients so to speak.)

Mix: 2 Parts Hard Boiled (shoot 'em up action) +  2 Parts James Bond + 1 Part The Bell Boy (generic slapstick throw-a-way comedy) + 1 Part Rain Man.

Synopsis: The greatest gambler in the world is commissioned by a wealthy gambler to defeat his nemesis in a gamblin' duel yet things take a turn for the worse when the greatest gambler in the world accidentally tumbles down a hill and gets amnesia. Thankfully some local street hooligans nurse him back to health and make use of his god-like gamblin' powers. 

Starring: Yun-Fat Chow as the God of Gamblin', Andy Lau as the street smart Knifey Boy, Charles Heung as Dragon Bodyguard, Man-Tat Ng as the sub-boss villain, and Hom-Lom Pau as the final boss.

Opinion: I know Rain Man in the mix above seems out of place but the creators have stated that Rain Man was a key factor in making this film. Amnesia in China seems to have a different definition than it does here. In China when you get amnesia you don't just forget shit...you revert to being a 4 year old child. For the majority of this film Yun-Fat is playing a mentally handicapped man a la Dustin Hoffman character from Rain Man. 

The action in this movie is where it's truly at though. Yun-Fat is not the designated bad-guy killing machine in this film because that role falls on the shoulders of the immensely wickedly bad-assed Charles Heung who plays Dragon Bodyguard. Oh my word does Dragon Bodyguard kill a lot of bad guys in this movie. Any scene where Dragon Bodyguard shows up in you know bad guys are gonna get dead and they are gonna get dead FAST.

This is the movie that got the ball rolling for the genre and is very likely the best Chinese Gamblin' movie ever.

Score: 9.3/10


2. All for the Winner (1990)

Mix: 2 Parts God of Gamblers + 1 Part James Bond + 2 Parts The Bell Boy (generic slapstick)

Synopsis: The self proclaimed "Reverend Saint of Gamblers" travels from Gaungzhou to Hong Kong to make it big in the city. He and his bumbling uncle make use of his sacred Taoist voodoo gamblin' powers to engage in high stakes gamblin' adventures.

Starring: Stephen Chow as Saint of Gamblers, Man-Tat Ng as bumbling Uncle Tat, Sharla Cheung as a hot chick, and Paul Cheung as the bad guy.

Opinion: A year after God of Gamblers made waves on the big-screen the comedic oriented Stephen Chow and his crew either really liked it or were super jealous of it...so they parodied it with an ultra-comedic version of it. Man-Tat Ng is in this too but not reprising his role as the sub-boss from God of Gamblers.

This movie is rife with mystical Taoist voodoo shit...it actually gets a bit annoying. Stephen Chow is so good at gambling that he can basically start glowing like a Dragon Ball Z character and change cards into whatever he wants them to be. Silly magic abounds in this movie...it can barely go a minute without some voodoo shit happening. Not that it's bad or anything, but the voodoo stuff was used sparingly in the God of Gamblers and not blatantly every minute where it just gets annoying.

The gamblin' duel at the end with the evil gambler boss is still cool though and all in all it's a decent film.

Score: 7.7/10


3. God of Gamblers II (1991)

Mix: 2 Parts God of Gamblers + 1 Part James Bond + 2 Parts The Bell Boy (generic slapstick) + 1 Part Hard Boiled.

Synopsis: Knifey Boy now regarded as the "Knight of Gamblers" and the "Saint of Gamblers" reluctantly team up to battle an imposter who's going around town calling himself the "Knight of Gamblers" and ruining the good name of the real Knight. Can the real Knight and the Saint put an end to this evil imposter's reign of dubious behavior? I certainly hope so.

Starring: Andy Lau as the Knight, Stephen Chow as the Saint, Man-Tat Ng as bumblin' uncle, Dragon Bodyguard as the Mother Fuckin' Dragon Bodyguard, and Lap-Man Tan as Hussein the Imposter.

Opinion: This was a weird direction to take the series. Basically a year after the parody and two years following the original...they merged the original and the parody together to make a sequel for BOTH OF THEM.

It's the equivalent in Hollywood if Star Wars made another movie following Space Balls where both movies merged together. Think of Harrison Ford and John Candy fooling around in space doing fart jokes and battling the Empire while Mel Brooks and George Lucas high five each other behind the scenes. That's what basically happened with the God of Gamblers films.

Yun-Fat Chow didn't seem to want anything to do with this as he is only seen in archive footage and his God of Gamblers character is only referenced to in this movie. Dragon Bodyguard shows up though and guess what he's doing? Yup, he's equipped with a Magnum desert eagle and is literally blowing away every bad guy who even thinks of fucking with either the Knight of Gambling or the Saint of Gambling. Plus he has a sister in this movie the She-Dragon Bodyguard who is whooping ass and shooting dudes too.

This film marks the first time in the Chinese Gamblin' genre that a dude whips a standard playing card so hard and skillfully at another dude that the card cuts through the skin and lodges itself into the dude's body. Andy Lau preforms this maneuver and it should be noted that it was very very cool.

Score: 8.6/10


4. God of Gamblers III: Back to Shanghai

Mix: 1 Part God of Gamblers + 1 Part Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 (the one where they go back in time to the Orient for no reason) + 1 Part The Gods Must be Crazy 3 + 1 Part Hard Boiled + 1 Part Rain Man

Synopsis: ???

Opinion: Yun-Fat is still missing in action and is only seen in a photograph. Andy Lau? He doesn't show up to this movie either meaning the brunt of the gamblin' heroism falls on the shoulders of the lovable Stephen Chow. At least Uncle Tat is back in this one and so is Dragon Bodyguard too...and as you'd expect DB kills about a hundred thousand people this time around (including a whole 1930s Japanese army battalion).

You thought there was too much whacky Taoist-Voodoo in the last installment? Well hold the phone because this next one goes full fucking Taoist. I included the awful film The Gods Must Be Crazy 3 in the Mix because that is the only movie I can think of with as much taoist voodoo nonsense in it.

In the 3rd installment of the The Gods Must be Crazy a Chinese Taioist priest travels to Africa to fight vampires...yeah, it makes loads and loads of sense, yeah. The God of Gamblers III makes even less sense than the third movie of the Gods Must be Crazy series with all the Taoist voo doo silliness.

Literally in the first 5 minutes of God of Gamblers III, Stephen Chow and his nemesis "Glass Eye" Kao Tun do so much fucking god damned voodoo that a great wind splits the world open and a vortex forms sucking them into the past. Yes, our hero is transported back in time to 1937 gangster-ridden Shanghai...why not? I'll go with it, I guess. Man-Tat Ng is now playing the role of Chow's homosexual grandfather from the past instead of his bumbling uncle (actually he plays both) which is cool, I guess.

If that wasn't enough, they managed to sneak in a mentally handicapped individual into this one to maintain the 1 part Rain Man in the mix of ingredients. Was it necessary to have a Rain Man character? No, it wasn't....but at this point who even cares anymore? This movie is beyond ridiculous.

All the way through this entire film I kind of hated it, I kept thinking at every point "this movie makes no fucking sense, man" but by the end when everything was said and done...I thought it was a pretty cool Chinese Gamblin' Movie after all. It's hard to dislike a Chinese Gamblin' movie when push comes to shove.

Score: 7/10
 

5. God of Gamblers 2: Return of the God of Gamblers (1994)

Mix: 3 Parts Hard Boiled (action!) + 2 Parts Death Wish One (revenge!!) + 1 Part James Bond + 1 Part The Bell Boy (slapstick!) + 1 Part Cop and A Half (adult/child buddy comedy!)

Synopsis: The God of Gamblers has fucked with too many bad guys over the years and for his safety has left the life of gamblin' behind to live in France with his wife and attempt to make a baby and raise a cute family. The simple life is harder to achieve as he once thought as bad guys manage to find him and thwart his plans of living a quiet-ass life. Can the God of Gamblers cope?

Starring: Yun-Fat Chow as the God of fuckin' Gamblers, Dragon Bodyguard as the Dragon fuckin' Bodyguard, Tony Leung as "Trumpet," Chien-Lien Wu as a hot-enough Asian chick, Chingmy Yau as a super-hot Asian chick, and the Bad Guy as the Bad Guy.

Opinion: God of Gamblaz ROLL CALL!!!!

Stephen Chow: (Not here).
Andy Lau: (Not here).
Dragon Bodyguard: HERE!
Bumblin' Uncle Tat: (Not here).

...Yun-Fat Chow? HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy, the cock has come back to the roost. Call your grandma and let her know...The God of Gamblers is back in a God of Gamblers movie! Yun-Fat Chow is in the house, he's takin' names, he's kicking asses, and not even giving ten fucks.

This movie is fucked, man. With Stephen Chow's parody/comedy shtick thrown to the wayside this movie gets awfully dark really fast. The way they set-up how evil the bad guy is...is a little too fucked up.

Listen, the initial scenes to set-up the eviltude of the bad guy is real dark. The first scenes of Bad Guy is him throwing a friggin' cute cat out of a moving car! Then the bad guy literally rips a lady's stomach open to give her an ad-hoc unwanted abortion...and then he puts the fetus in a mason jar (WTF!?!?!?!). Okay bro...we get it...you're evil....you're a bad guy...we get it already...can we see some light hearted gamblin' now please?

The stakes are really high in this movie with people gamblin' with their hands, limbs, eyeballs, and lives and all this. Holy crap.

Yes, "Death Wish" themes as well as "Cop and a Half" themes are present in this picture. Revenge is one of the main themes throughout the film (by the end of the movie I think a dozen dead folks need to be avenged) and Yun-Fat teams up with a cute kid side-kick for the majority of the film a la Cop and a Half. It's an odd mix but it works, it's a good movie, no doubt.

This movie also features the hottest Asian chick I've seen in a Chinese Gamblin' Movie up to now. The chick with the tattoo on her boob and who kicks people's faces at the roulette table is pretty hot, I do say.

One thing that made me laugh in this one is they counter-parody the Stephen Chow gamblin' movies a bit. At one point while God of Gamblers is gambling one of his allies says something along the lines of "I thought he'd look more cooler while gambling like the great Super Saiyan from Dragon Ball...." which was obviously poking fun at the blatant kai-o-ken style powers Stephen Chow displayed in All for the Winner.

Score: 9.1/10


6. From Vegas to Macau (2014)

Mix: 2 Parts James Bond + 2 Part Hard Boiled + 2 Parts The Bell Boy + 1 Tablespoon of Rain Man

Synopsis: Buddy Benz and his kids or nephews or whoever gamble money away from the rich to give to the poor as modern day gamblin' robin hoods yet they bite off more than they can chew when they gamble with the wrong bad guy. Luckily Buddy Benz's life-long friend God Hand Ken is on their side and his gamblin' and fightin' abilities are sure to come in handy as they try to raise money for their dying mother's cancer treatment.
  
Starring: Yun-Fat Chow as God Hand Ken....and a bunch of other people too.

Opinion: Twenty years later Yun-Fat Chow is gamblin' again but this time he's not reprising his role as God of Gamblers but is playing the role of Ken the man with the God Hand. Ken has different moves and techniques than the God of Gamblers including the ability to whip gold-plated playing-card shurikens that can ricochet off walls and other edges and land in everybody's fucking throats, legs, balls, asses, and faces.

They kind of have the Rain Man character in this movie, sorta. Yun-Fat's daughter is a weird chick who does acrobatic flips and tumbles around the God Hand mansion with this bungee chord thing all day and is described as being super weird and a bit retarded.

I wonder if Dragon Bodyguard is still alive in 2014...either way he's not in this new movie and that means countless on-screen lives were spared in the making of this film (unfortunately). I bet a lot of extras were happy that Dragon Bodyguard didn't show up to this movie because they could thus avoid having to sit in the make-up chair for an hour to get the standard "gory death" treatment and avoid having to rig exploding blood packs to themselves.

If you count up all the bad guys killed by Dragon Bodyguard through all the Gamblin' movies I bet his death toll is statistically in the Rambo region. It says on his IMDB that Dragon Bodyguard is still alive but I guess no one bothered inviting him to this movie. That's kinda crappy...still it's not a game breaker or anything because this film rules despite the absence of Dragon Bodyguard.

Score: 8.7/10


Final Statements on the Matter 

I refer to movies in the mix section just to give the reader an idea of what the movie in question consists of. I'm not recommending these or necessarily believe the movies in the "mix" sections are good. For instance, I used The Bell Boy to describe elements of forced slapstick style in-your-face brand humor. Jerry Lewis is the King of Forced Comedy in the fashion of...

"Hey laaaaadies! Look over here! I'm trying to be funny over here! Look at meeee! I'm attempting to do comedic actions in this vacinity! Can you see me trying to be funny! I'm being funny over here! Look at this funny face I'm making! Are you looooking!? I'm making a funny face over here! Hey laaaaaaady!"

Forced slapstick is like that, you know? The actor/actress is making it perfectly clear that he or she is attempting to do something funny just in case the audience was too dumb to figure it out themselves.

It does give your movie a light hearted silliness to it but the manner of delivery and how forced it is leaves the audience rolling their eyes at times (more often than not). Jerry Lewis is the poster boy for this forced comedy style and that's the reason I used one of his movies as an example to illustrate the slapshtick forced-comedy style in the mix section.

The ratings speak for themselves...the God of Gamblers which have heavy doses of Yun-Fat Chow are the best ones, no doubt about it.

I wouldn't be surprised if a huge rivalry exists between Stephen Chow and Yun-Fat Chow over there in China...I would suspect these two really don't like each other. I bet they both think they are the King of Hongywood but the joke's on both of them in the end because Jackie Chan is still and probably always will be the King of Hongywood. Jackie Chan is probably the most famous actor on earth to be fair.

In closing, I want to make a super wicked Gamblin' film because it looks like a lot of fun to do that.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_87PFerrYsE)

 I wish this was MY theme song!!!!!!!