This One: https://writingsonsubjects.blogspot.com/2017/05/best-tag-team-finishers_4.html
It went on a long time, it seems mostly due to taking a while to get going, by talking about other stuff in the intro. I don't want to do that this time.... but there's matters in the Combination Attack field that I feel need to be talked about before we start rating Tag Finishers in this essay.
Re-reading my 2017 ratings of Combo Attacks has left me with woe and with red in the face. I am appalled that I didn't include a move from a movie that probably is the SOURCE of my deep respect and intrigue with Combination Attacks and Tag Finishers.
I feel a sense of personal shame and am actually appalled at myself for leaving something out of that article....and that something is... The Crossing of the Streams.
How could I have over-looked what was probably the most ICONIC combination attack of my lifetime? When the Ghostbusters crossed the streams of their proton-particle-throwers in 1984's Ghostbusters.... it shook the foundations of all of which was known prior-to-then as being cool.
Just call me Forgetful Jones, I guess.
It was a FINISHER too! They combined their proton streams at the behest of Egon (who previously in the film told them NEVER EVER to cross the streams) to create a total particle reversal in hopes to teach that travelin' and destructin' Gozer how they did things downtown!
I am appalled at myself for overlooking this attack in my previous article. This may have even beaten Pentagon and Blackhole's attack if it was entered into that 2017 Tag Finisher Tournament. It probably would have pulled it out in the end and won.
If I as a tiny baby/child never saw this happen.... my brain probably would never have even been wired to wig over Combination Attacks at all! I would never have cared about Antipodes I, II, or even III.... or Piccolo firing a Makankosappo through Gohan's Kamehameha blast to give it an added piercing element to its naturally occurring powerful energy blast explosion.... or care or wig even a bit when Animal held a guy on his shoulders for Hawk to launch himself off the top turnbuckle to harm the opponent with a flying clothesline.
....without Ghostbusters One, and the Crossing of the Streams...it's possible that I wouldn't have cared about ANY of those great things even at all.
So thank you for all you've done for the Art and the Science of Combination Attacks, my sweet Ghostbusters One, I shall forever value your contribution to the field.
Alright so with that out of the way, that lament and regret, let's get started reviewing all of the great Tag Finishers that are occurring in modern times...wait hold up.... I have something inside of me, whether it's in my heart or mind, that needs to be said regarding the field of tag finishers... and it involves Chrono Trigger... specifically the new modern ports of the game.... that have re-named many of the combination attacks of the game... that I believe is almost blasphemous in nature.
Super Nintendo's Chrono Trigger was released in 1995, and it was the greatest game. Ports of the game have been made for many systems after its initial release so a new era of people can enjoy one of the Society's Greatest Video Games just like we did as youths in 1995. Now, each port seems to think they can translate the game better than Ted Woolsey did in 1995.
Let's get something straight now, okay? Ted Woolsey's translation of Chrono Trigger in 1995... is the OFFICIAL translation of Chrono Trigger, okay? It is. Fans can make endless "fan translation" patches to pretend to fix his "mistakes".... and the ports to newer era systems can pretend that they can do a better job localizing Chrono Trigger than Terrific Ted did in '95... but your works are all in vain. The SNES version of Chrono Trigger released in 1995...is the BEST version of the game. Period.
Changing the names of Dual and Triple techs from the original translation is threading a thin needle and almost stepping on the toes of history, I must say. With some of the Tag Finisher name changes in the new versions of the game, I get them, I guess. Let's look at Doublevbomb. Now, here I understand why it might be in their interest to re-translate Doublevbomb into Double Bomb. At the heart of it, it makes sense, it seems like it should have been Double Bomb back in '95 but some programmer entered the name into the field and hit the "v" key instead of the "space" key. Okay.... I get why they would change this.
Then again, part of me doesn't. To 1995 enthusiasts of Chrono Trigger, this move is called Doublevbomb! For all that I knew back then, maybe Lucca had an uncle who with her father Taban would make explosives and junk...and her uncle was named Nabat Doublev and the family named the highly powerful explosive Lucca uses in conjunction with Robo in a combination attack a "Doublev" bomb to honor her uncle who contributed to the creation of the Tag Finisher in that small yet key fashion. No?
I'm not that upset over Doublevbomb to Double Bomb. Who knows, maybe it really was a typo in the original and the new ports are just fixing the typo... maybe Lucca doesn't have an uncle named Nabat Doublev. I get it. I'm okay with Double Bomb.... but there's one I'm really not Okay with and that's.... Bubble Breath?
They changed Bubble Snap to Bubble Breath? Why? Why in the name of anything would they change the Snap to the Breath? Now, I'm a huge fan of Bubble Snap. I used Bubble Snap a lot. Frog summons up a bubble-casing with his Water magic to encase Robo in a bubble... then the bubble gently floats up into the sky.... next, the weight of Robo gives and the bubble SNAPS and makes a noise similar to a SNAP! Robo then proceeds to fall from the sky, his metal weight picking up much momentum on the way down, until he crashes on top of the opponent...harming them.
That's a Bubble Snap! Where does anyone do any breathing here? No one is breathing here! No where! No how! No breathing is being done! Why rename this move from a Bubble Snap to a Bubble Breath?
It's things like this that make people's hair turn gray before their time. It really is. It really is. Re-naming Bubble Snap...... to Bubble Breath. I wouldn't be surprised if one gray hair on my head is directly there because someone thought it would be a great idea to re-name Bubble Snap. Would not surprise me in the least, friends.
Alright, enough with this, we better start reviewing and rating Tag Attacks of the modern times... wait though.... while we're on the subject of Super Nintendo ports to modern systems of classic games, we have to talk about Final Fantasy VI....
Final Fantasy VI is a classic and a Video Game's Video Game. To see the port they offer younger people of today's times to experience Final Fantasy VI is enough to make a whole head of hair gray on a person well before its time.
I don't want to get too much into it... if you are interested in seeing why the port is almost blasphemous in nature I suggest you read the following article written by a person who gets very esoteric into why the graphics are not good:
Link to Esoteric Article delving into Why new versions of Final Fantasy VI's Graphics are Not Good:
https://www.fortressofdoors.com/doing-an-hd-remake-the-right-way-ffvi-edition/
Young people are growing up playing bad ports of some of the most classic of video games.... and I think the reverberations and damage this will cause to the minds of young people will be felt for aeons (probably).
You don't need a Good Graphics degree from Videlectrix University (or a similar institution) to know that giving young people ports of great games but with bad graphics is a recipe for a less-than-bright Tomorrow.
Alright, we better start this article soon.... because I am gonna have a full head of gray if I keep letting Bad Ports get to me soooo..... Let's Get Started......
NOW.
Rating the Modern and Cool Tag Finishers and Combination Attacks of AEW Wrestling!
(Note: If a cool-cool move is over looked or forgotten to be included in the review.... please don't over-think it. In my first article in this field...I forgot to include the greatest thing ever.... so to color myself as a Forgetful Jones isn't an exaggeration by any stretch. I forget my own age sometimes.)
All Elite Wrestling's Tag Team wrestling is wicked and great... no one can deny this. Let's now look at some of the cool moves on display.
Re-iteration of Definition:
A Tag Finisher is a fighting move which combines the input and skills from two or more individuals to form increasingly powerful combination attacks. Once two singular moves are combined they thus become greater than the sum of their whole ... they become ... More Better.
I'm not sure I can get photos or videos of all of these moves as some of these only happened like last week.... so the aesthetics of this article will be on the low-end... it is an in-depth review of these maneuvers in a more literary sense... I guess.
The Finalists for this year's Tag Finisher award are:
-Private Party - Gin and Juice
-Proud and Powerful - Camel Clutch + Boston Crab Dual Tech Submission (+honorable mention)
-Young Bucks - More Bang for your BUCK!!!!
-Best Friends (accompanied by Orange Cassidy) - Center of Ring Group Hug
-Kenny Omega and "Hangman" Adam Page - V-Trigger + Lariat
-SCU - S C U.... LATER!
-Jurassic Express - Double-Assisted Canadian Destroyer (+honorable mention)
Private Party
Gin and Juice
Marq and Isiah's Private Party may sound snobbish and the uninformed reader might think they are snobby bad guys... but they're not... they are good guys. It is a Private Party... but EVERYONE is invited to this party. This party has front flips, back flips, running back flips, running front flips, 450 swam dive flips.... and COMBINATION ATTACKS!
The best part, as stated above, is that Everyone is invited to this "private" party. It is very inclusive. Yet, if you're gonna imbibe though you gotta remember that what they're drinking at this party 'aint water, dude. It 'aint water, dude. It's probably some decent-enough-proof Hennessy... so if you are gonna imbibe at this party you should imbibe responsibly.
Private Party's tag finisher is their patented Gin and Juice. Here we see Marq plant the opponent onto the turnbuckle, nextly he deftly hurricane flips so his feet are wrapped around the opponent's head, he proceeds to re-flip himself which catapults the opponent off of the turnbuckle and into the trusty and waiting arm of Isiah...
....who hurricane DDTs the opponent's head into the canvas. Bravo.
With all these hurricane flips and hurricane DDTs.... how can an opponent cope? Quick answer is: They can't. The Gin and Juice doesn't just make them tipsy... it puts them down for a 3-count!
Raw Power: 71
Finesse: 89
Aesthetics: 87
Overall: 82
Proud and Powerful
Camel Clutch + Boston Crab (also we will talk about the assisted Vertical blood-to-head Suplex attack)
Santana and Ortiz are bad guys! They are in cahoots with Chris Jericho and his dastardly inner-circle. They play for keeps. They will whip you with a sock full of baseballs....they don't care. They are bad! They will slam 60+ year old wrestling legends right through tables! They are very bad! They will rake your back with their nails.... and they will preform brazenly powerful COMBINATION ATTACKS!
One they do is they suplex a guy but they don't finish the suplex, they get the opponent into a vertical clutch hold and just hold him in the vertical suplex but they don't even drop him! They just keep tagging in-and-out of the ring exchanging the opponent when their arms get tired! Oh my gooodness. If their arms don't get tired they never really ever have to drop the opponent, do they? No! The ref? The ref cannot do a thing because they are legally tagging in-and-out of the ring to exchange the opponent in the vertical clutch hold!
Meanwhile... what is the opponent feeling during all of this? His blood is rushing to his skull and brain! He has been upside down with his body back-to-front for what must seem like an eternity! Oh no! He must be passing out.
That's not the move I am entering them into this contest with though. I am entering them for their dual tech submission attack... the Camel Clutch + Boston Crab. Whereas one sits on the opponent and faces forward whilst the other sits on the opponent facing the opposite direction. They then start pulling on the neck and legs of the opponent in hopes of twisting him into some kind of a human pretzel. My gosh.... where is the humanity in all this, you ask? There is none. These men are BAD and they don't mind turning people into pretzels inside of the ring!
The downside to this submission attack is that you are only allowed 10 seconds inside the ring once a tag is made.... meaning both men can only be in the ring at the same time for 10 actual seconds. Will any opponent submit from an attack within ten seconds? Probably not. The ref will break Santana and Ortiz up if the attack goes on for 10 seconds under this rule.... this seriously limits the power of the otherwise powerful attack.
Raw Power: 90
Finesse: 72
Aesthetics: 83
Overall: 82
The Young Bucks
More Bang for your BUCK!!!
By Gawdness are these guys buck. The flips? Forget it.... just forget it. They flip like there is no tomorrow. They kick like there is no tomorrow. If you even blink while these guys are doin' it n' doin' their thang in the rang.... forget it... you missed at least 40 flips and 50 kicks whilst you blinked, dude. There's so much wild and crazy things going on while they wrestle that I recommend to the viewer of their craft that you don't blink.. unless you don't mind missing many a flip and a bevy of kicks during your 0.01 second blink session... then go right ahead and blink... I guess.
They have this one where Matt holds the guy in a pile driver hold and kindly waits... until his brother Nick preforms a spring-board front flip off of the ring apron with momentum help from the ropes... the momentum of the spring-boarded flip is then transferred into the feet of the opponent who is then thrust into a pile driver. Dang, that's buck.
They did a simple yet effective Triple Tech with Dustin Rhodes where both Bucks preformed a reverse-thrusted round-house Super Kick and Dustin stood in between and preformed a simple yet devastating front-thrust kick. A triple kick... to one face!? That's a massive attack, bubba.
Their entry in this tournament of techs is the More Bang attack... because it is uniquely buck. It is simply a sight to see. My eyes have seen some uniquely cool things over the years, ok? I'm not like a guy who just exaggerates and just like says stuff, you know? I've seen cool stuff like rock and roll concerts and naked-ass ladies and stuff over the years that I'd deem as being very very very cool.... so when I say something is cool or buck... I mean it? You know?
More Bang is COOL. There's so many back flips and front flips it's almost as if I cannot even conceptualize what a flip is anymore after they preform this. There's A LOT of flips. A lot of them. Flip after flip after flip after... after FLIP!
I'm not joking that momentarily after seeing More Bang... I cannot conceptualize the meaning of "flip" for a brief period. If you came up and asked me what my favorite Flip Wilson character was within a few minutes after seeing More Bang for your Buck... I wouldn't be able to answer because my brain would be unable to process the word Flip. I'd be like... "What Wilson?".... and then like a few minutes later I could answer you after my conceptualization as to what "flip" meant returned to me. I'd be like "Oh....Geraldine. That's my favorite Flip Wilson character. Yeah. Sorry 'bout that, I had a mental lapse for a moment, old friend."
There's so many flips it's like they got the Star in Mario Three on NES and knew they only had Star Power for like a few seconds so they pressed the jump button as many times as they could just to see Mario do an insane amount of flips!!!
Raw Power: 73
Finesse: 95
Aesthetics: 96
Overall: 88
Best Friends (accompanied by Orange Cassidy)
Center of Ring Group Hug
In this incredible maneuver, Best Friends, one Trent(?) and one Chuck Taylor, invite their familiar acquaintance one Orange Cassidy, into the ring to display the strength of their friendship.
It is pondered by many how connected Orange Cassidy is to the Best Friends as he is never announced as being a member of the Best Friends as they approach the ring. It is clear that only Trent and Chuck are Best Friends and Orange Cassidy is just an acquaintance of theirs that they oft-times hang out with.
I wonder about this as well, I mean, is Orange Cassidy just too cool for the school and is the one who wants to be introduced separately... or is Trent and Chuck's Best Friendhood so pronounced that to include Orange Cassidy in the Best Friends would only serve to water down the strength of their friendship by including a guy who just wants to hang out sometimes? It's a great mystery...
..but, I think if Best Friends were to throw a party and they invited everyone and Orange Cassidy, they would see the biggest gift would be from Orange Cassidy, and the card attached would say....
..."Thank You, For Being a Friend...."
It is safe to say the damage of this move is limited but... if this were to be used in a video game universe, this move would boost their attributes for a set amount of time.... a lot. I'm talking like +25% to their melee damage, +25% to their melee defense, +25% to their super move attacks, +25% to their super move defense, +25% to their agility, +25% to their luck stat too, and their special move bar increases at 2x rate... all this for a full 2.5 minutes of gameplay time. Damn, that's a powerful boost.
In that sense, say you were playing like a Tag Team Story Mode where you take any team, start at the bottom, and work your way to fight the champs to win the belts... an unbeknownst player might think "why would I take the Best Friends and Orange Cassidy? Their base stats are very bad like 10 to 15 points lower than the best teams to choose from in this tag team menu screen...." ... yet lo, woe, and red in the face will be that hapless video game enthusiast for not choosing a team that has a Tag Move that boosts their stats considerably ... and thusly making them one of the strongest teams in the game with enough experience points.
Raw Power: N/A
Finesse: 72
Aesthetics: 93
Overall: 82
Kenny Omega + "Hangman" Adam Page
V-Trigger + Lariat
This attack is nothing short of a Massively Powerful Combination Attack. Let's look at each of these moves in a singular sense before we look at them in a combined and powerfully-combined sense.
The V-Trigger is a frontal running knee-strike... it sounds simple but it is so much more than its description. These can wake you up. Kenny doesn't finish matches with this attack... this is just a powerful running knee to the face to wake the opponent up... so said opponent is not tired and groggy when he experiences Kenny's One Winged Angel buster. These knees'll wake you up in the morning! If you're at work and you're on your third cup of cheap-but-free work coffee and still can't keep your dumb eyes open... call Kenny Omega to come down to your work and get him to knee you in the face! It'll wake you up!
What awaits the opponent in this attack once he's been awoken from his groggy slumber by a V-Trigger? A spring-board apron-flip momentum-enhanced... LARIAAAAAATOOOOOOOH!
A spring-board flip Lariat like that is NOT designed to wake you up... it's designed to put you down for the 3-count, compadre.
I've seen them do this from multiple angles. One time they connected with the V-Trigger AND the Lariat at the SAME exact TIME! Imagine getting a V-Trigger wake-up call and a Lariat smash at the same time!? I've seen it done by a drunken Hangman who needed M. Jackson to hold his beer for him while he flipped and lariatted.
Speaking of Hangman and his proneness to imbibing on drink... it seems like it is causing descension amongst Kenny and Adam. Hangman's drinking has caused some awkward in-ring moments between the two combatants. Some accidents involving Adam missing opponents and hitting Kenny... and even Hangman leaving Kenny Omega HANGING on a High Five. I was shocked when I saw the hang on the five. It left me feeling empty inside. I remember as a youth of 17, at a cool concert, one of my first, leaving someone hanging on a high five... and I never found it in my own heart to forgive myself. The regret over a left-hanged five is a greater regret than most understand.
(I remember many years ago seeing a ".gif" that really spoke to the realness of what I am trying to describe. Lemme see if I can dig it up by searching for it. Yes, I found it. It is this ".gif": HERE.)
Opponents think they can prey on this perceived non-unity between them... I'm sure SCU is thinking they will easily defeat them and regain the titles in their re-match with them by isolating the drunkard Page... yet you never count a team like this out for the count no matter how low their morale is or how drunk Adam Page is... because their Tag Finisher is lights outingly POWERFUL.
It is MASSIVELY POWERFUL.
Raw Power: 98
Finesse: 82
Aesthetics: 84
Overall: 88
SCU
S..C...U.... LATER!!
Socal Uncensored are good guys. They are a marching band from Southern California University. They held the tag team belts for a long while after they won the inaugural tag team tournament to kick off AEW's first year.
Is there any better alliterative string of words in our language that is better than Tag Team Tournament? I mean, the joy that springs to the breast of humankind when those three Ts come together in alliteration is completely and utterly magnifique, n'est ce pas?
Scorpio and Frankie's magnificent finisher involves Scorpio athletically spinning an opponent off of his back thus propelling incredible momentum outward and off his back....and into what... right into Frankie's knee strike. A sure-fire method to cap off an excellent bout. 1, 2,3 .... it's over.
I don't want to forget to mention the third member of SCU, one C. Daniels, who I thought had a very great redemption of his talent recently. After messing up an Arabian Moonsault, the Lucha Bros. endlessly scorned and scoffed at Daniels... many thought the regret and shame over botching said Moonsault would lead Daniels down a path of darkness.... but he overcame! He executed the Moonsault a few week later! He didn't give up! Never ever give up!
SCU also had a very touching display recently by honoring the late great Kobe Bryant by adorning his #24 during their match.
Raw Power: 85
Finesse: 80
Aesthetics: 81
Overall: 82
Jurassic Express
Double-Assisted Canadian Destroyer
Jurassic Express consists of a large-yet-loveable giant Dinosaur Man, a wild Mogli-esque wild jungle child, and a scrappy scamp who apparently live together in the forest behind the junkyard.
They got a cool cool move where after a crazy dive onto guys outside the ring by Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus launches Marko Stunt unto the already dazed opponents with a Gorilla Press Slam... which is great.
Their entry is the double-assist on the Canadian Destroyer. Whereas Looch and JB swing Marko back-and-forth to create a great deal of centrifugal force of which is key in enhancing the utter devastation of the Canadian Destroyer.
It is a very physical move in two ways. It employs the laws of physics... and it is physical like ... you know what I mean.
Sorry guys. Some of these paragraphs are getting stale, homeys. Gonna wrap this up. Sorry, Jurassic Express... if you got the lead-off spot in this essay instead of the end-spot you would have had better paragraphs.
Raw Power: 73
Finesse: 84
Aesthetics: 86
Overall: 82
Post Writing Tally:
*Young Bucks: 88*
*Kenny Omega and "Hangman" Adam Page: 88*
SCU: 82
Jurassic Express: 82
Private Party: 82
Proud and Powerful: 82
Best Friends (accompanied by Orange Cassidy): 82
Dang, it is a tie. Who woulda thunk it?
Conclusion
Okay, I know I already have qualms about who was left off the list. Some of the best wrestlers in AEW are 1-on-1 guys so cracking them into the tournament would be too hard. I know I left one of my favorite tag teams on the show, The Lucha Bros., off of it... I should have got them in. Lucha Bros. vs. Young Bucks matches on AEW have been nothing short of a Piston's Hurricane and of Straight-up Fire.
Their women division is amazing... sadly I couldn't work it in, either.
I didn't manage to work in my favorite thing I have seen on AEW... which was the 4.5 Man vs. 4 Man combined 8.5-man synchronized suplex.... which was get-out-of-towningly Great.
I selected the ones to do only after writing a lot of other stuff before I even started... I wouldn't regard this as an expert's opinion. I'm not a licensed Wrestling Journalist and I do not have a Wrestling Journalism degree from any of the top Wrestling Journalism schools... so if you read this don't think it's like a definite thing or anything by a Wrestling Savant.
The first time I did this in 2017... I left the greatest thing ever out of the tourney... so if anything cool was left out of this article ... it's not surprising by any means.
Let me once again thank Ghostbusters One. If Harold Ramis never asked his friends Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, and Ernie Hudson to cross their proton throwers to form a singularity of intense particular-reversing beam cannon.... I probably would never have wigged to any Combination Attack...
....I probably wouldn't've wigged at all... to any of it.
...wouldn't have wigged...at all.
So thank you......
...Harold Ramis.
