A seemingly expert "SEO" article I recently read stated that you should always write a preview of what the article will be about when you write on your personal website as well as claim early in the article that you are an expert on the subject(s) that will be presented.
This article will be about Cold Weather and I've mentally narrowed it down to a few things I would like to write about. These are the following; (A) The Rocky IV Training Montage where he does tough guy stuff in the snow, (B) Warsman the Russian brutal superman on the cartoon Kinnikuman, (C) This foreign movie I saw as a kid where this priest-guy saves a kid who's freezing to death in a cave but I don't remember the name of this movie, (D) The writings of Robert Service (AKA "The Bard of the Yukon"), (E) The film Alive (1993, run time: 125 mins) which documents the trials and tribulations of a Brazilian soccer team who's plane crash-lands and they must survive harsh conditions and end up eating their fallen brethren's corpses.
Alright, so, the article shall be about some, if not all, of the ideas mentioned above. I am an expert on all of these things. I am an expert on Rocky IV, Warsman, that movie with the kid in the cave who almost perishes of frost bite, the writings of Robert Service, and last but not least the 1993 movie Alive (which clocks in at a lengthy yet smooth runtime of 125 minutes) where the soccer players eat each other. I am an expert in all of these fields.
Good evening, reader, looks like it will be quite cold outside this weekend as temperatures are estimated to drop to negative 50 degrees Celsius in many northern regions of North America. We can already hear the hundreds of local weather people across the continent arguing who's going to be big hero who goes outside to film a remote to let the public know just how cold it is! Just stay inside, guys. It's going to be too cold outside!
It's January, the fun winter things like Christmas and New Years are over... it's just utter cold for like 3 more months. Oh man.
Obviously you know what this article is about because I wrote an informative intro in italics above which apparently helps with search engine optimization... now the search engines know I am an expert on what I am about to write about and will put this article higher in the results when people search for Rocky IV or Alive (1993).
I saw Alive when I was pretty young and many kids at school talked about this movie back then. When you're a kid and you see something harrowing or shocking... you naturally think in your naive mind... that this harrowing thing is definitely one day going to happen to you! All kids view the world in this manner, at one point of their lives, when they are young.
I remember being at school in like 5th grade and all the kids were asking each other if they would do what the team on the plane did in that situation if they were stranded in the cold after their plane crashed. It was a frightening situation to put yourself in.
That movie caused a lot of odd conversations... many people wondering out loud what they would do in that situation. To me, that movie reminds me of winter though... it was filmed, or I don't know if it was filmed there, but it was set in the Andes mountains and each scene is filmed in front of scenery of snow-capped mountain ranges and wind-swept canyons. I bet that movie won some cinematography awards... it is such a beautiful film about a soccer team eating corpses.
Kind of depressing... I don't think I'll write about that movie after all. I am also going to throw out the idea of that movie where a kid is saved from a cave because I don't remember what movie it is from. Freezing to death sucks either way and there's not much to say about it.
Rocky IV also reminds me of winter. The song in the training montage is so poignant... I hear that song sometimes when it's cold outside. I love the way he pulls that wagon or cart through the snow and thinks about avenging Apollo Creed by defeating Ivan Drago. It's a cinematic masterpiece. I bet a lot of guys exercise to that scene. It's cool because it's like a tough guy exercise song not like a go to the gym and pump iron but let's go into the cold woods and chop logs type of song. I love that song. I would like to chop wood to that song if circumstances ever permit.
Another song about winter that I like is the theme from Winters in Earthbound... the mysterious foreign winter land Jeff attends boarding school at. It's very suitable for winter that song, I find. I tend to think about it and hum that simple tune, all the time, when the rain starts to turn to snow and the whispers of the cool winds begin to blow in my ears. It reminds me of that boarding school, the teacher who invented a machine specifically to open a locker where the key got busted, the room full of gift-wrapped boxes containing cookies that the kid spent all day making that you ruin by opening them all, the bubble monkey that can briefly float if he's given a stick of bubble gum, the self-proclaimed Dungeon Man who has devoted his life to creating mazes and dungeons in areas where there is enough space and who later becomes a living/breathing/walking dungeon himself because he is so fascinated by dungeons, the friendly Loch Ness monster-like sea creature that gives you a lift across a pond, Stonehenge (which is infested with cavemen, bears, and aliens), the lab where you get the space ship thing... I remember that game like it was yesterday.
All these things mean winter to me... and I'm talking about a very specific portion of winter... I'm not talking about the Christmas stuff that part of winter is its own category in and of itself... I'm talking about the middle of January... the dead of winter... the worst of it.
The most dead of winter thing to me is probably Warsman... I like that guy Warsman... I wrote a whole article on Ramenman once... I could probably write a full article about Warsman too. He's a fascinating Chojin that Warsman. He grew up as an outcast robot-boy in the depths of horrible Siberia... and was eventually recruited by Robin Mask to destroy Kinnikuman at the Chojin Olympics... but he lost and then became a really close personal friend of Kinnikuman's.
I was watching the new Kinnikumans they were making where they fight the Perfect Prime Number supermen guys... and they gave Warsman more backstory... they even showed the poor robot-boy growing up as an outcast. They know how to pull the heart strings that show. They show you cute little robot baby Warsman like it's the dang muppet babies or something... and then the other kids just start pelting poor little robot baby Warsman with rocks! It's so sad... I remember being so sad for poor baby Warsman as I watched that scene unfold... he's like a little child bringing milk and bread home and kids just start pelting him with rocks for being a robot boy instead of a regular boy... my goodness.
They've done that before though. I think they even showed baby Ramenman once getting pelted with rocks too. I know they've done that before. I think they've done this several times over the decades. It works though... I can't see Warsman as the villain that put Ramenman out of commission after they show little cute baby Warsman getting pelted with rocks while he's trying to bring milk and bread home. Children can be so cruel.
It is not ever really explained how this robot was at one point a baby robot... but you give up trying to pretend the Kinnikuman show makes sense and just go with it, man. Embrace it and just go with it... and feel sad for baby Warsman.
I really like the Warsman theme song... the Rocky training montage song from Rocky IV is cool and people probably pull carts through the snow with and cut logs to it often... but I love when the weather gets cold, really cold, and I can start walking around in the dead of winter and blasting the Warsman theme into my headphones. I love this song...
.....Looooooooonely Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiights.
This video shows baby Warsman too from the old 80s version... I don't remember baby Warsman on the old show. Hmmm.... they just throw snowballs at him in the old show it seems though not rocks. The new Kinnikuman they made a year or so ago is far more violent than the old 80s one. They changed snowballs to rocks in the more recent version... it has more of an effect. Snowballs aren't that bad. The new show is so utterly violent and it catches you off guard because one scene a guy is fighting a faucet and then somebody's friggin' arms are being chopped off... it catches me off guard with the absurd violence they use.
I love this show. I love when they are being goofy and dumb and then it gets all serious and everything. I love that kind of thing. It's great.
Yo, remember when Warsman fought all those guys while playing guitar? That was cool.
Who'd he fight on the new show? I forget... Oh yeah, the polar bear guy. He ran out of batteries/energy and was about to lose but then he found a reserve of "friendship" energy from his friends cheering for him that powered him to go into overdrive and win. That was good. The power of friendship is so powerful sometimes. It really makes you stop and think about how strong the power of friendship truly can be.
I remember one episode where they have to go into Warsman's body with a special Chinese mirror, I forget why, and there's a tower of wrestling rings inside of Warsman's body (obviously) and they have a wrestling tournament... inside of Warsman... that was cool.
Oh! Remember when Warsman couldn't do interviews for the press because he was in his dressing room shaving? Shaving his robot beard... I guess.
Winter... the dead of winter... when I close my eyes and think about the lonely nights in the dead of winter... the first thing that always jumps ahead of the pack and takes pole position in my thoughts... is Warsman.
So tonight, gang, we salute Warsman, another fellow victim travelling on this road called life. A poor robot baby who was pelted with rocks for being born different... but who grew up to make a mark on our world in more ways than one thanks to his perseverance, resilience, and powerful submission holds.
Anyways, here's to you, Warsman... and to these loooooooooonely niiiiiiiiiiiiights.
Stay warm out there.
(Note: I forgot to include Robert Service in this article even though I said I would... I just forgot to, that's all.)
