Rock for Hall of Fame (For the Umpteenth Time!)

It's a personal human tradition for me to write in this blog one month prior to Baseball Hall of Fame voting time to launch an impassioned plea for sports super star and icon, Mr. Rock Raines, to be accepted into baseball's most hallowed of shrines.

Previous Ones:

2011: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2011/12/baseball-hall-of-fame-is-incomplete.html

2012: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2012/12/last-year-prior-to-hall-of-fame-voting.html

2013: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2013/11/rock-hall-3.html

2014: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2014/10/the-greatest-lead-off-guys-evar.html
(this one I wrote whilst watching the world series and went on really looong and I wroted A LOT).


In all seriousness, I'm out of things to say......I really am.

So.....This year we will be comparing the Rock to other people and things who share the monicker of "Rock" and attempt to decide via a scientific ranking method....which is the greatest Rock of All Time.

The entries are the following:

1) Tim "Rock" Raines
2) Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
3) Rock and Roll (the musical genre)
4) Charles "Roc" Dutton
5) Actual Rocks (like you see in mountains and in nature and whatnot)


Which of these five Rocks shall be crowned the King Rock? You'll have to read to find out (or scroll to the bottom...I guess that would work too).


The Rocks 


1) Tim "Rock" Raines

Tim Raines is the greatest. Tim Raines is an icon. Tim Raines is by far one of baseball's champions of the 80s and 90s.

This man could really play well. He could really knock it out. He was number one in the mix. He was the greatest baseball player. He could really rock it out. He could literally Rock the Place Apart.

Rock over London.
Rock on Chicago.
Wheaties.....Breakfast of Champions!

Tim Raines can Rock...he can Roll....he can Rock 'til the age of 101 years old and therefore his final rating on a scale of 100 will be 101. Wow.


Final Overall Classification: 101/100




2) Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Dwayne Johnson is in this contest? Oh crap. That's some stern competition for Greatest Rock of All Time. This Rock is a Legend too.

The Rock Says, The Rock Says....

This man was at one time the self proclaimed Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment. He is possibly the most quoted man of all time. People think like Einstein or someone is the most quoted man of all time....but they are very wrong.

If the Rock said anything back in the day....800 million people would start saying it the next day at work and at school. Like one time he said...."know your role".....and the day after he said that EVERYONE started saying that. Like, one time he called someone a Jabroni and then EVERYONE started to say that.

Now, as a person who oft uses the term Jabroni, it must be noted that the Rock did not invent that term but merely propelled it into stardom and into the Webster's Dictionary.

In the Documentary film, "The Sheik", by the Magen Brothers....The Rock has this to say about where he came across the term "Jabroni"....

"[Sheik took me under his wing to share his insight and wisdom]....and I'll never forget, I'll never ever forget...it was a very long flight and he said....'Bubba, let me tell ya, you go into the locker room, you sit down, you keep your mouth shut, you open your ears and you listen to everybody, ok? Don't be the Jabroni'...."

        (The Rock, from The Sheik Movie, 2014)


It is an undisputed fact that he learned the word from the Iron Sheik....but even then...it was the Rock who propelled that term into being the greatest word of the modern era.

It is. It's AWESOME.

It is a pretty great feat to have introduced the greatest word of all time into our lexicon. Damn, this greatest Rock of All Time is going to be harder to declare then I previously thought it was going to be.

All in All, Dwayne Johnson may have coined the best word of our times but since the Iron Sheik originated it....unfortunately......this Rock must be given a negative 10 deduction to his otherwise perfect score.

Final Overall Classification: 90/100



3. Rock and(/or) Roll, The Musical Genre

Everyone always tells me that Rock and Roll is Dead. That it died in about 1991. We know music sucks now and no one makes good music anymore....but is Rock n' Roll really Dead?

I don't think so. I think Rock and Roll has been jettisoned from the music scene these days but I know for A FACT that Rock and Roll cannot die. Rock and Roll is more powerful than a mere human like you or I can grasp. Even if we cannot see Rock and Roll anymore in today's music it doesn't mean it's gone forever.

Yes, as of right now Rock and Roll is dormant....yet.....we all know that no one can kill Rock and Roll. You might think Rock and Roll is dead...but one day, you're gonna walk into a MacDonald's and out of nowhere....Rock and Roll is gonna Rise Above like a Phoenix of the Night and Rock your fucking ass OFF.

Ya!

Rock n' Roll is not dead....it's just harder to find it these days.

Final Overall Classification: 67/100

4. Charles "Roc" Dutton

Now, I've read that he Don Kinged some dude(s) back in the day and I don't know anything about that. It's neither here nor there....I only know Charles "Roc" Dutton from the characters he's portrayed in Movies and Tv Shows.

It's not so much his portrayal of the Roc character that wins him a spot on the list of greatest Rocks of All Time (and yes I understand that his name is missing the K and it's more like Roc the mythical bird but whatever). It is his portrayal of the maintenance man in "Rudy" that wins him a spot on this list.

Man, in that movie Rudy...that friggin' Rudy was being a little weiner at one point being all whiny and shit....and then Roc tells him...."Rudy, you're a spoiled brat...you think that getting a college grade education is a "waste"? You're a fool, Rudy." (or something to that extent...I'll see if there's a clip on youtubes).

Oh shit....there's a REGIS VERSION!? WHAT THE HECK!? This is cool.....

Haha. This is cool.

I saw that movie Rudy when I was a youngster and that scene really taught me to "Count my Blessings as Such" and that's a pretty powerful lesson for a youngster to learn, bubba, and I learned that very valuable life lesson from the Roc....so yeah...he really does deserve a spot on the greatest Rocks list even if he is missing the K in his name.

Final Overall Classification: 74/100


5. Actual Literal Rocks like in Nature and Mountains and Whatnot

There's three types of geologically classified Rocks and that's...

1. Igneous
2. Sedimentary

and,

3. Meta-Morphic

People flip over Meta-Morphic because it sounds like some Voltron or Power Rangers type rock but it's not. Meta-Morphic mostly has to do with lava and volcanoes.....which is kind lame.

Whatever, Actual Rocks. Who Cares?

Igneous sounds like a sturdy sorta Rock you can really hang your hat on. I respect Igneous Rocks, yes. Sedimentary is cool because it's all layer on layer and it looks nice when you see like a mountain that has all these layers of different colors. It's very appealing to the eye.

I mean lava, and layers, and sturdiness is ok and everything....but I'm not really all that a big huge fan of regular rocks. Like, you can be in snowball fight and a stupid kid'll throw a snowball that has a rock, or stone, or pebble in it...and that's it man....you get that in the face and it's lights out and someone's mom makes you stop playing snow ball fight and everyone has to go home.

Never really liked Literal Rocks all that much, really.

Final Overall Classification: 42/100



Final Assessment on Rocks

From worst to most Greatest Ever.....

5. Literal Actual Rocks like in Nature and Mountains and Whatnot
4. Rock and Roll The Musical Genre
3. Charles "Roc" Dutton
2. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson


and.......The Greatest Rock of All Time........is......

1. Tim "Rock" Raines !!!!  

 

How good was Timmy Raines though?

     How good was Tim Raines? That depends a lot on who you ask I guess. If you ask someone from New York they’ll tell he was a great forth outfielder/DH and a key factor in bringing the up and coming Yankees over the hump to win their first World Series of many. If you ask a guy from Chicago, he’ll tell you Raines was a great leadoff hitter who set the table for the south side sluggers (Frank Thomas, Robin Ventura, and Ellis Burks). All of that is of course true but what if you asked someone from Montreal? It seems much of what happened in Montreal in the eighties has been lost to the baseball world, in fact in ten or fifteen years the Montreal Expos will probably be lost from the collective mind of baseball fans all together. I however, am a guy from Montreal, and I know how good Tim Raines was.

     Where to begin? Well, the first memory I have of the Rock was when I was about four years old and was attending a game at Olympic Stadium with my family. I was having trouble seeing what was going on because I was short and such, but all of sudden everyone stood up and went crazy. I asked my father and older sister what had happened and they told me Tim Raines just homered. Of course I was familiar with this “Tim Raines” character already, I had baseball cards and the like, I was no idiot you know. Angered for missing what just happened, I asked where he hit it, as to which my father pointed to a Cocoa-Cola sign in left-center field, and I was dumbfounded. How could a human-man hit a ball that far? I was used to hitting homers into the neighbors yard at this point in my life, from home plate to that Cocoa-Cola sign must’ve been 100,000 of my backyards taped together…a long freaking way man. At this point I was convinced this “Tim Raines” was not a mere man at all but rather some sort of human god born from the heavens and suns. I was not scared of him however for I knew he would use these strengths adorned to him for the benefit of the Montreal Expos and not for personal gain. After this moment I followed the career of Tim Raines somewhat more closely than that of his fellow Expo brethren, he became my “favorite player” if you will.

     At the school yard in my youth talks of how good Tim Raines was and what he was capable of doing were rampant. I recall one of my friends asking me, “Who would win-in-a-fight, Tim Raines or Superman?” I found the question a bit stupid, Tim Raines of course. “Has Tim Raines ever been to the moon?” Well obviously, he probably has a summer cottage there. “I heard Tim Raines hit for two cycles in one game, drove to the Forum and proceeded to single-handedly defeat the Toronto Maple Leafs 18-0 while scoring six hat-tricks, is that true?” Yes, though I believe it was 22-0. All the questions just bread more questions, how good was this guy?

     In Shea Stadium, circa 1987, Tim Raines shocked us all once again. After missing the first month of the season due to the owners free agent boycott The Rock returned with a vengeance. The game tied 3-3 in the bottom of the 13th, Tim Raines came to the plate already seven-for-seven with 2 doubles, 3 triples, 2 singles, 6 stolen bases, and three runs scored. The opposing Mets reliever Jesse Orosco (then a robust 36 year-old) served up a pitch no one would ever forget. Tim Raines hit the pitch out of Shea Stadium…and clear out of New York State. The box score read 7-3, but it should have read Grand Slam outta The City to 3.

     That year, 1987, proved to be Tim Raines best season as an Expo. Rock finished the season with a .434 batting average, 78 homeruns, 7,000 RBIs, and 390 stolen bases despite not even playing in April. When asked what his numbers could have been if he played the complete season Raines replied, “I never hit well in April anyway.” Statisticians predict that had Tim Raines played the complete 1987 season and the collusion never happened he would have hit a remarkable .575 while knocking in close to eight billion runners. Wow…

     In 1990, news of Tim Raines finally made it to the United States, and in turn the Americans greatest player challenged Montreal’s greatest player to a base-stealing contest. Rickey Henderson, the Greatest That Ever Lived, challenged Tim Raines to a base stealing contest in an exhibition game between the Oakland A’s and the Expos prior to the 1990 season. It was down to the wire, Henderson and Raines both had a dozen stolen bases by the ninth inning…Raines however on the last out made it a bakers by stealing home off of Dennis Eckersley and Terry Steinbach. Henderson, admitting defeat, sulked from the bench and proclaimed himself “The Worst of All Time” then proceeded to play Bobby Bonilla at cards or something. Tim Raines had done it, he became the first player in history to steal 13 bases in one game, though it was an exhibition game and was never recorded in the record books, it happened, believe me…

    So how good was Tim Raines? It depends who you ask.