Short Stories over the decades:

The Swamp-
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The Journey
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

And,
The Ballad of Turkey

And, added to that list has recently been:
Lights Out.......

As Well as....
The Golden Greek Goes Upstairs and The Thrilling Conclusion to that story!!

Oh and let's add to the list: The Haunted House
Vol. I
Vol. II

New One: *NEW* A Spring Story *NEW*
Vol. II
Vol. III


Twitter: D DeeDee223

(All posts in this blog are written by Deric Brazill)
Showing posts with label doa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doa. Show all posts

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Comparison and Contrast of two Baseball Owners: Bill Veeck (the legend) and Bud Selig (the bum)

Veeck as in Wreck (or Cheque)
I've read a lot of books over the years, I like to throw in a baseball biography book every so often. I recently read Bill Veeck's "Veeck as in Wreck." In it, Veeck states that he began reading at a young age and by his teenage years until his late years he read at least five books per week. Judging by his insight, I believe that Veeck did indeed read five books a week throughout his life. This guy was a real renegade and it's too bad that all real renegades brains operate 20 to 50 years ahead of their time.

Backstory on Veeck

Veeck's father (Bill Veeck Sr.) was a sportswriter who in 1919 wrote a critical article of how the owner of the Chicago Cubs (Phil Wrigley Jr.) was operating his club, the article was poignant and sharp-cutting to the bone, enough so, to land him a phone call from Wrigley stating that if Veeck Sr. thought he could do a better job than why doesn't he come down and do it. Veeck Sr. did, and Wrigley hired Veeck Sr. to be president of the Cubs.

Eddie walked on 4 pitches...
Veeck Sr. gave his son (our protagonist Bill Veeck) a job counting tickets. After the years Veeck Jr. was promoted by Phil Wrigley into higher and higher posts with the Cubs. Veeck was in charge of all concession operations at Wrigley. According to Veeck, he was the one who had the idea of putting the now-iconic vines on the Wrigley Field brick outfield wall.

In 1942 (five years prior to the fall of segregation in baseball), Veeck had a great idea, he wanted to gather up some investors and pool up money to purchase the struggling Philadelphia Phillies. The team was horrible, posting only 43 wins and 111 losses in the previous 1941 campaign, and only drawing 231,401 fans for the entire season. Veeck knew he could get the club cheap and had a brilliant idea to turn a last place club drawing only 0.2 million fans into a first place club who could draw 2.0 million fans. What was his brilliant idea? After he purchased the club, he planned on stocking it with superstars from the Negro Leagues (Paige, Doby, Robinson, etc.).

Now, the color line in baseball was never written in any rule books. Black players were playing in baseball leagues with other white players with no problem in the late 1800's. The color barrier arose in 1884, when the premier white star player Cap Anson refused to take the field when his team signed a black catcher named Moses Fleetwood Walker. The league responded to Cap's protest by forming a "gentlemanly agreement" made between all the owners to not sign black players. The owners, being very racist but also men of their word it seems, kept their "gentlemanly agreement" in effect for over 60 years.

So, in 1942 as stated above, Veeck (who was also the midwest promoter for the all-black Harlem Globetrotters basketball club) wanted to buy a Major League Baseball club and load it with superstar black players from the negro leagues. How do you think the stuffy, conservative, old boys club, owners felt about this suggestion?

Charlie "Tokohama"
The only previous attempt to break the "gentlemanly" agreed upon color barrier, was in 1901 (as written about in Robert Peterson's book "Only the Ball was White") when Baltimore manager John McGraw tried to sneak a quick one by baseball's stuffy owners. He wanted to get second baseman Charlie Grant onto the Baltimore roster and his plan was to tell the owners Grant was a Cherokee Native American. Other Native American players were on rosters in that era (including Chief Bender, Bill Phyle, and Louis Sockalexis), only players of African decent were systematically kept out of baseball. McGraw listed Grant on his roster as "Charlie Tokohama" and hoped he could sneak him past the league officials and onto the Orioles. Unfortunately, McGraw's guile didn't slip past the stuffy owners, and his clever ruse ultimately failed.

Larry Doby
The same end met Veeck's attempt to sign black players. Since black Americans were fighting for their country in World War II, Veeck felt that times had changed and the owners wouldn't mind if baseball's 60 year color barrier was broken. He was confident enough to let the cat out of the bag too early, by letting the owners in on his plan. The crusty old commissioner of baseball, Kenesaw Mountain Landis, and the owners took over the Phillies before Veeck could buy the club. The owners jointly owned the club running at a loss until a new interested owner could be found (one who wouldn't sign black players). Eventually they found a stuffy old businessman named William D. Cox to purchase the league owned club and Cox surely did not sign any black dudes.

Max Patkin
Veeck eventually did purchase a team, the Cleveland Indians. After Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in 1947 with Branch Rickey and the Dodgers, Veeck was able to sign black players and did so by adding hard hitting lefty Larry Doby and 50 year old legend Satchel Paige to the Indians roster.

Veeck went on to stints operating the Browns, and White Sox as well. He did not have an inherited family fortune like all the other owners, he had to keep his clubs afloat the old fashioned way, by giving his customers entertainment and satisfaction. Over the years he sent a midget to pinch hit, he hired colorful ball players like Max Patkin and others to play or coach bases, installed a fire works spouting "exploding" scoreboard, and accidently caused a punk rock riot at Comiskey Park by holding "Disco Demolition Night," where the blowing up of disco records turned a little unruly (as shown in the video below)...




With all due respect, credit for this idea should go to Canada's own punk rock icon Joey "Shithead" Keithley of D.O.A. who one year prior in 1978 held a "Disco Sucks" rally in Vancouver, Canada...






Ahead of his Time

Veeck brought up all kinds of things at owners meetings that were laughed at and scorned at by the stuffy shirted and cranky pantsed owners.

He had the foresight to see that the reserve clause (which kept players as being owned by their team) was not right and wanted to take it out of baseball. He even testified at Curt Flood's Supreme Court hearing when Flood challenged the reserve clause (Flood called the clause similar to slavery).

(newspaper article on Veeck's testimony at Flood's anti-trust suit)

Veeck proposed things from alterations to the minor league system, inter league play, and a slew of other things which were adopted by baseball 20 to 50 years later but at the time he proposed them they were considered as the ridiculous ravings of a jerk.

At the end of Veeck's book, "Veeck as in Wreck", there is a very omnious portion which sheds light on present day problems in baseball. After being out of baseball for years and finally returning as owner of the White Sox in the 70's, Veeck held a press conference in a hotel lobby and let in all the fans to chill and sell wares and whatnot. The new owner of the Milwaukee Brewers (a city where Veeck operated his first club, the minor league Brewers back in the early 40's and laid the ground work for baseball there), one Bud Selig, a young ugly punk, told Veeck that he is ruining baseball and turning it into a "meat market." Veeck knew that baseball may have had some new younger owners, but he realized that they were as stuffy and narrow minded as the old ones.

20 to 50 Years Later

Fast forward to the year 1997, and Bud Selig unvails the revolutionary concept of Interleague Play and the orthodox fundamentalist owners faction proclaims him a renegade genius who's "outside the box mousy radical" thinking is saving the game. Gee, I wonder where he got that idea from? 

Selig has been the commissioner for over over twenty years now, and the last twenty years is where baseball has gotten out of control. Salaries are out of control, steroids are out of control, the inequities between small and large markets are out of control, a World Series (1994) was cancelled, and a slew of other nonsense. He is the first owner to be commissioner which is an obvious total conflict of interest. Baseball really is a "meat market" now, but it wasn't Bill Veeck who made it this way, it was that bum Selig.

I think Bill Veeck is still alive somewhere having a beer with Elvis Presley, Andy Kaufman, and Bigfoot. I think he's taking cabs around whatever town he's in, hitting all the local bars, trying to drum up support from investors to buy a club. I hope he's telling them it's all in debentures and they'll get half their returns next quarter and the other half when "they can catch him." 

Who Selig? Yeah, we should jerk the bum.
Here's an ending quote to conclude this article from Mr. Bill Veeck himself,

"And who knows, the status quo of baseball might just look at the track record the next time I push for something like interleague play and say, 'alright let's humor this jerk for once.' And you know something? That's when it's time to start worrying. When they listen to your ravings with indulgence and, heaven help me, affection, you know you've joined the herd". 

-Bill Veeck

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Let's Take a Short Break....Let's get 75% Pumped for the NHL Play Offs, Y'all.

I don't write much 'bout the good old fashioned game of Ice Hockey. But yo, I wrote back in 2012 that those high flyin' Montréal Canadiens were gonna win the cup this year.

Read that 2012 article here: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2012/02/open-letter-to-montreal-canadiens-fans.html

It's the article with the most reads ever on this dumb blog, I don't think it was that good, re-readin' it now I like the Guile joke, whoever made that gif is a funny person. I like the riot-domes joke....that's sorta funny.

Look, I take my prognostications pretty serious, so if they don't win the cup this year I'm gonna look like a darned fool is what I'm gonna look like.

I doubt any Canadiens read this blog but if they somehow find it on google or something....here's a small pump up for the whole team. I hope it gets them 75% pumped....exactly the right level of pumped. Not too hot, not too cold....just right like baby-bear porridge. If you are a Canadien then just scroll down to your name and hopefully the pump-up works for you. Your paragraph will be a short assessment of your play over the season, a report card, and a mini-pump.

Read this shit with this song on so it is more good to read!

Ooooh that song pretty good...


Defensemens

PK Subban

Subban? The man's a legend, he doesn't give a fuck. He'll beat you in a variety of ways...he'll beat you on D, he'll beat you on offense, he'll slap you in the mouth. Subban? He's a legend, man. He's crazy. He got 60 points this year and was plus 19! The guy's amazing....he's the greatest hockey man! He doesn't care! He plays like 30 minutes a game! He's a living legend! He's like a crazy man! He's a walking Norris Trophy is what this fucking guy is! He's a walking Norris Trophy! That's insane! He's the greatest! Holy crap! He's a LEGEND!

A+

Andrei Markov

This man!? He's the best! He's actually the greatest! He's the quiet leader of the whole entire fucking team, he doesn't give a fuck! He leads by example....he leads by ALL the EXAMPLES! Who him!? The guy's a maniac, he's crazy! He is like the smartest hockey player in the world! His Hockey IQ is like a billion million! That's a huge number! Holy shit, you guys! Markov? He's fucking amazing at hockey....oh my word! They should nickname him The General because that's what he is....he's a Hockey General leading by quiet leadership...and leadin' with examples! Many many many examples! Yeah. 

Он очень талантлив

A+

Jeff Petry

Who Petry? This guy? He's wild, he's crazy...he literally doesn't even give one fuck. Not even ONE! He never did and he never will. He's a wild and crazy dude! He is amazing at Ice Hockey....he's got long hair and wins games. Petry? He's a fucking wild case....he doesn't give a fucking shit about shit....he just wins at it and wins at it well. The guy knows what to do out there and doesn't fuck up...wow.

A+


Alexei Emelin

Oh my word....this man is nuts, he's a nut-ball, he's a damned crazy man. He's a wild horse on the fucking loose! Oh wow...this guy is fucking nuts! He even got into Milan Lucic's head! He's a feisty fucking guy is what he is! He'll fuck you up....he doesn't care. He'll punch you in your fucking face, he doesn't give a shit. He's a nutcase....he'll kick you right in the ass....DIRECTLY IN THE ASS! He'll even punch you in the fucking ass! He's NUTS! A FUCKING NUT BALL! He is from like the weird part of Russia where they plant potatoes and AK-47s in the ground and farm potatoes and machine guns like they're vegetables! Those guys who come from there!? They barely even give a fuck!

Он Сумасшедший !

A+

Tom Gilbert

This long haired untamed Wyld Stallyn!? He's a maniac on wheels! He's like Speed Racer or Racer X! He doesn't give a shit! He's a race car driver on wheels....on ice! He'll run ya right down! He don't play around! He'll body check ya fucking hard! He'll make ya think twice in your zone! He'll make ya think twice you PUNK ASS SON OF A BITCH! Ya better think twice before you try and mix it up with this long haired Wyld Stallyn! Oh Myyyyyy Goooooodness!

A+

Nathan Beaulieu

Nathan!? The guy is a YOUNG GUN....he's literally a GUN and is YOUNG. He's like 22 years old! That's nuts! He's like the youngest guy and he's like the craziest GUN! He can become a GUN just like Megatron can! He can become a fucking GUN and he's YOUNG! He's like Megatron if Megatron was a young man instead of a greasy fuckin' robot! Holy fucking shit!

A+


Mr. Sergei Gonchar

I used to trade for this man in EA SPORTS NHL 97! I USED TO GET HIM ON THE CANADIENS IN VIDEO GAMES BACK IN 1997! THAT'S HOW COOL HE IS....HE'S ON THE TEAM FOR REAL NOW AND THAT'S FUCKED UP! THE MAN IS AN ICON! HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK AT ALL. HE'S A WISE ELDER LIKE SPLINTER OFF OF NINJA TURTLES! NATHAN BEAULIEU ASKS HIM ALL THE QUESTIONS HE NEEDS ANSWERED! NATHAN IS LIKE "HEY MR SERGEI...HOW DO I BECOME WAY BETTER?" AND THEN GONCHAR IS LIKE "OKAY, I WILL TELL YOU." AND THEN ALL THE YOUNG GUNS BECOME EVEN BETTER! IT'S FUCKING CRAZY!!!! THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!!!!

A+

Gregory Pateryn

Greg? This guy knows how to do it! He'll hit you and he'll fuck you up....he doesn't care....he barely cares all...in fact...he doesn't give a fuck at all...not even one. He's a friggin' maniac with a heart of gold! It's nuts! He's very very nuts!

A+

Mike Weaver

Weaver? What the fuck!? The guy has a degree in Web Design from an esteemed University! The guy is intelligent! He'll punch you in the throat! He'll invite you to dinner and then punch you in the balls! This guy? He'll design a website up your ASS! He's CRAAAAAZY! CRAZY AS FUCK! ABSOLUTELY CRAZY AS ALL FUCK!!

A+


The Fuckin' Forwards

 LISTEN UP TO THIS FUCKING SONG! WHY DON'T YOU!?

 
Tomas Plekanec

This one? Don't even me started on this one! He's the most under-rated human player in the whole damned NHL! He is a defensive forward who just happens to get 60 points! He's a two-way forward...he's a fucking two-way forward! He plays his heart out! He actually plays his whole heart out! That's crazy! To play your heart out? That's absolutely nuts! Wow!


On je skvělý !

A+

Maximum Max Patch oh RETTY

Oh this fucking guy right here!? Oh shit....this man'll score like 80 goals a year because he barely even gives two fucks about it! He's a sniper....he's a fuckin' sniper....holy moly! Oh man...I bought that MAX 67 fucking cheese burger they sellin' at MacDernDern's lately...that shit tasted so fucking gooood! It had these weird red sticks in it! They were like spicy red french fries or something! It tasted soooooo gooood....I STILL REMEMBER EATING THAT BURGER LIKE IT WAS YESTERADAAAAY! IT HAD A LOT A LOT OF MAYONAISSE, OH MY WORD! IT FUCKED ME UP! IT CHANGED MY LIIIIFE 4 EVER! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I LOVE HAAAAAMBURGERS!

A+

Brendan Gallagher

He's so young....he has his entire human life ahead of HIM. He's only 22 fuckin' years old this guy! That's as young as fuck! He charges the damned net all the time! He doesn't care AT ALL. They be slashing him and cross checking his ass....but they can't even get this fucking guy away from the GOALIE BECAUSE HE'S AN UNMOVABLE OBJECT! AN UNMOVABLE OBJECT! HE'S THE BEST! HOLY SHIT! HE REMINDS ME OF PAT VERBEEK! HE DOESN'T PLAY AS DIRTY THOUGH! HE'S AMAZING AT HOCKEY! HOLY FUCK! HE DOESN'T NEED TO GET PUMPED! HE'S ALREADY PUMPED....I can tell from his face.

A+

David Desharnais
 
Oh my gosh. This guy plays with all his heart! What he lacks in size he makes up in heart like that guy RUDY from that movie RUDY starring that dude RUDY! Rudy was being a punk but Charles "Rock" Dutton told him to shape up and then RUDY did! In real life....the Mayor told Desharnais to shape up...AND HE DID! NOW HE'S AMAZING! HE'S A SLICK PUCK HANDLER! HOLY FUCK! WHAT IN THE WOOOORLD!? HE'S LIKE GLEN METROPOLIT TIMES FIFTY!

A+

Alex Galchenyuk

This young man? OH WOW! HE'S A YOUNG GUN! He's gonna be a fucking total super star in the fucking league for like 20 years! HE'S GONNA MAKE LIKE A ZILLION DOLLARS! HE'S GONNA BE IN THE HALL OF FAME in 2045! THAT'S FUCKED UP! I PROBABLY WON'T EVEN BE ALIVE BY THE TIME HE MAKES THE HALL OF FAME. THAT'S MENTAL! HE'S GONNA SCORE MORE GOALS IN HIS LIFE THAN GRETZKY! HE'S ONE OF THE YOUNGEST GUNS.

A+

Jake De La Rose

This mother fucker is from FUCKING SWEDEN! THAT'S WHERE INGE HAMMARSTROM CAME FROM! Jake is 400 times more powerful than Inge Hammarstrom! If Inge was a STORM of fucking HAMMERS....as in....hammers raining down from the sky killing everything in its vicinity...then Jake is like a hurricane of POWER DRILLS RAINING DOWN ON THE FERTILE LANDS! DRILLING EVERYTHING! A TYPHOON OF FUCKING POWER DRILLS! ASSHOLE! FUCK!

A+

Lars Eller

Lars Eller!? I love this fucking guy! He's one of my favorite guys on the whole fucking team! He's a great great player...I REALLY LIKE WATCHING HIM PLAY...IT'S VERY ENTERTAINING! HE'S VERY VERY TALENTED! HE'S A DANE! HE'S A GOD DAMED GREAT DANE! HOLY SHIT! I HOPE HE WINS THE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

A+

Brandon Prust

This man wears number 8! He looks like Cam Neely. He fucks all the mother fuckers up! He kicks people in the fucking ass! He kicks them in the ass HARD! When he kicks you in the fucking ass...you fucking feel it! You feel it....in your stupid ASS! YAAAAAAAAA! YAAAAAAA! He'll kick ya in the butt...he don't care! He's a mental case! WOW! From the coast to the coast...he's even more powerfuller than SPACE GHOST! HE'LL KICK ZORAK IN HIS ASS! HE WILL PUNCH LOKAR IN THE FACE!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


A+ 

Dale Weise

The guy looks like a seventies hockey man! Look at his hair! The guy looks like he's playing in the SEVENTIES! THAT'S FUCKED UP! HE'LL FUCK YOU UP! HE'LL SCORE A GOAL AND THEN PUNCH YOU IN THE FAAAAACE! WHAT DA FUCK! HOLY SHIT! THAT'S CRAAAAZY AS HELL! THAT'S SO CRAZY! Ooooh my wooooord!

A+

Torry Mitchell

OH MY LANTA! THIS GUY SCORED A GOAL IN GAME ONE! THAT'S FUCKING COOOOOL! HE MIGHT SCORE EVEN MORE! THAT'S AMAZING! HOLY GOD DAMNED SHIT YOU FUCKING GUYS! I HOPE HE GETS A STANLEY CUP!


A+

Diamond Devante Smith-Pelly

DSP? This guy is like 230 pounds of BEEF! THE DUDE'S A BEEF STEAK OF POWER! HE'S LIKE A RUNNING BACK ON SKATES! HE'S LIKE GOD DAMNED MARSHAWN LYNCH ON SKATES! HE'LL RUN YOU OVER LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN OF HUMAN JUSTICE! HE'S ABOUT TO GO INTO BEEEEEEAST MOOOOOOODE! BEAST MODE, OH SHIT! MOTHER FUCKING BEAST MODE! BEAST MODE, you sonna va BITCHES! OH Wow!

A+
 
P.A. Parenteau

This man!? OH SHIT! HE'LL SCORE ON YOU. He will score on you! Get ready asshole...cuz he's gonna score on you....right on your damned net. Get ready! Holy fuck he's gonna score on you...really hard. Oh shit....he's gonna shoot the puck right past you! What the fuck are you thinking? The dude's gonna shoot goals on you! YES! HE'S BEEN WATCHIN SLAPSHOT STARRING PAUL NEWMAN ALL WEEEEEK LONG! HE'S READY TO START SCORING FUCKING GOALS LIKE NED BRADEN and SHIT! YA!

Lui? P.A.? il va magané tous les gars! Estie! TABARNAK!


 Everyone's gonna get Maganed.....FUCK EM ALL!

A+

Brian Flynn


WHAT? The man's name, according to wikipedia, means scoring goals? Now just what the fuck is that shit!? HIS OWN NAME LITERALLY MEANS SCORING GOALS!? THAT's CRAZY! It's ironic because that's what the man does! He scores goals and shit! He got 3 points in game 1.....holy shit, everybody. Holy actual shit!

A+

Manny Malhotra

Him!? Are you crazy!? HE'S AMAZING! HE WINS ALL THE FACEOFFS ALL OF THE TIIIME! HE LOST HIS EYE AND THEN CAME BACK TO PLAY AGAIN! HE'S AMAAAAAZING! THAT'S CRAZY! HE'S LIKE A PIRATE! HE'LL PLUNDER YOU! HE'LL PLUNDER YOU AT HIGH SEAS! HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE CUZ HE'S THE GREATEST! HE WINS FACE OFFS! ARE YOU LISTENING!? THE GUY'S AMAZING! HE CAN WIN AT HOCKEY! HE'S A VETERAN WHO TEACHES WISDOM TO THE YOUNGER GUYS! YEEEEESSSSSSSSS! I SAW HIM A PEEL PUB ONCE EAT 18 PLATES OF RAVIOLI! THE GUY IS A BEAST! HE'S THE GREATEST GUY!

A+


Da Goalers

RIP KENNY JENSEN! 

That Carey Price! 

Carey Price!? He's the best! He's one of the greatest goalies of all time! I can't believe it! HE wins cups! He's good at it! WOW! He is quick like a fox! He's smart like a dolphin! He's unbreakable! Ya can't break his concentration! He's indomitable! Absolutely MENTALLY INDOMITABLE! HIS MENTAL FACULTIES ARE AN IMPREGNABLE PYRAMID OF DIVINE CONCENTRATION! IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE! This guy is in The Zone.

A+ 

Dustin Tokarski

That's a polish name! His grandpa probably fought in world war 2 for Poland and slapped that motherfucking bitch Hitler in his bitch-ass mouth! His grandad probably kicked Hitler in the fucking ass! THAT'S AMAZING! HE'S A HERO! HE'S A FUCKING HERO! YEAH! 

A+  

The Coaches

He's listening to da fucken song! What the fuck is wrong witchu !? Are you stupid?


Michel Therrien

This is the guy who knows all the tactics! He knows what line to put out against who! He's the best at it! He's so tactically sound it's unreal! He's like the Zhuge Liang (諸葛亮) of Ice Hockey. He has a powerful-ass mind! He knows about all the tricks and all the deceptions. He has his finger on the button! He knows what button to press! He's in control of these damned situations and shit! He's the man with the plan. He knows what to do and WHEN!

A+

Dan Lacroix

This mother fucker right here? Dan Lacroix? This maniac!? He got 466 penalty minutes with the Granby Bisons back in '87! THAT's FUCKED UP! THAT'S THOROUGHLY FUCKED UP! This guy probably killed a guy that year! He probably suplexed a dude! He probably ate a guy's heart! How the fuck do you get 466 mother fucking penalty minutes!? He's gonna punch the other assistant coach of the other team in the throat! HE'S A NUT CASE! WHAT THE FUCK!? 

A+

J.J. Daigneault

Jean Jacques "mother fucking" Daigneault? You never heard of this guy before? Are you on drugs? He won the cup in 1993! He held the cup over his fucking head! OH WOW! This guy can coach his ASS OFF! HE's NUTS!

A+


Clément Jodoin

He had 15 points for Concordia University back in nineteen seventy motherfuckin' three! WOW! The Big C will round house kick you in the face with a 180 degree power kick....AND BARELY EVEN GIVE A FUCK! THAT'S FUCKED UP! THAT TRULY IS! IT IS TRULY FUCKED UP IS WHAT THAT IS! HOLY SHIT!

A+
  


Conclusion

YEAH! JUMPIN' IN THE FRIGGIN' AIR! LOOK AT DIS SHIT!
Jeepers....I got pumped just writing that garbage. I take my prognostications seriously. My baseball ones especially but my hockey ones too. I did say they'd win the cup this year back in 2012....so it's coming time where I'm either gonna look super savvy or like a total bozo. I hope this mini-pump will turn the tides of the human future. If even one guy found this on google by googling his name...then I hope it gets said human pumped....but not too pumped...only the perfect 75% pumped...because the refs are calling all kinds of shit now and if you're too pumped you might get suspended or some shit....so 75% is a good pumped to be right now.

In all seriousness, if they do win the trophy this year....please don't riot up the place. It's kind of embarrassing when you fanatics set the shit on fire and shit. I agree it looks cool....but in the end it really isn't. It makes us look like bad and everything with all the rioting and this and that.  


Whoever made this GIF knows what they were DOING!


I made dis one...it's awezome.