Short Stories over the decades:

The Swamp-
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The Journey
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

And,
The Ballad of Turkey

And, added to that list has recently been:
Lights Out.......

As Well as....
The Golden Greek Goes Upstairs and The Thrilling Conclusion to that story!!

Oh and let's add to the list: The Haunted House
Vol. I
Vol. II

New One: *NEW* A Spring Story *NEW*
Vol. II
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Re-Visiting The Economy: A Riveting Tale of Buzz-Words and Unkillable Myths

Macro Economics
The biggest surge/spike of hits that this blog ever received was in September of the Year 2011 when I wrote on the subject of Economy.

Here: My Mind on Economy and Economy on My Mind

It's a very silly article which sort of pokes fun at the absurdity of today's human world by attempting to create humor by using examples from a very old video game. The conclusion attempts to compare the concept of "Economy" to the concept of a giant dinosaur.

I'm not trying to offend when I poke fun at things, you know. I just don't think any topic should have a sacredness surrounding it. I don't think religion should, I don't think nationalism should...and I don't think a concept as presently in-style as "economy" should have any sacredness devoted to it either.

The concept of Economy is becoming the new religion of the times. It will or already has become the flavor of the week in our ever-transgressing human timeline. The results of elections in most countries are decided by how a politician talks about the Economy. Re-wind to 500 years ago, rulers and rule-makers were decided by how a person talked about Religion.

Now, we look back at the way things worked in the 1400s and laugh. We think, "wow they really trusted some king because he said he was sent down from heaven by some whacky god? Haha." Or we think, "holy crap, they really honestly believed that someone lived in the sky and watched over the earth? What a bunch of dorks."

Fast-Forward to 500 years from now and people will be saying the same thing about us. They might say, "Wow, those morons created a currency system based on shiny metals and then let the whole system take over and control their lives? Wow, that's stupid." Or maybe people in 2513 will say something like, "Holy crap, they used to elect their rulers by which ones used the cutest buzz-words to describe their currency system? What a bunch of dweebs"

Similar to Religion and similar to Nationalism...the notion of "Economy" has to be routinely subjected to satirical jabs or barbs to ensure that people never take it too serious or extreme.

Economy as Religion / Economy as Nation

The land of Economy is as much make believe as the lands in our minds that exist when we attempt to conceptualize Religion or Nation.

In the magical land of economy a great benevolent force known simply as "the Market" watches over us and makes sure we never come to harm. The Market will solve all problems, it will cure your aches and pains, it will make your penis 3 inches larger (or your breasts on cup size larger). The Market will never hurt you...it's your friend. You can pray to the Market...you can even ritually sacrifice small creatures to it.

Hey, if you were Ronnie Reagan you could hire an astrological see-er and have her cast astrological projections on the mysterious Market (100% true occurrence). If you live in the Asia, you can read the Book of Changes and throw sticks on the ground to try and figure out the future of the Market.

The funny thing is, just like the deities in all Religions and the heroes of all Nations...there never was and never will be a divine force known as The Market. A "free market" is literally people doing whatever they want...and you can tell by how many white collar rules and laws exist that no one can do whatever they want.

The "Market" is rigidly chained together by texts, books, sheets, and copy books of LAWS. The businesses who talk about how "free" the "market" is are the same businesses who spend billions of dollars to lobby the governments of the world to change laws to customize the playing field in their favor.

Lawyers are CEOs best friends. Don't believe me? How come mp3s and other formats are so easy to share online within seconds...yet it is 100% illegal to put an mp3 on the internet for others to save to their computer terminals? Because someone lobbied to the government of your country to make a law which disallows you from doing that. The simplest way for human A to share a song he/she likes with a human B is just to send the mp3 to their computer....but that's 100% illegal. When the simplest way of doing what you want to do becomes illegal then you know something is up.

Yo, fucking Apple has paid lawyers to patent EVERYTHING. Another company can barely even offer a service using the alphabet without being attacked by Apple's lawyers. They paid billions of dollars to get the patent on things you wouldn't even believe could be patented.

In this blueprint, Apple applies to patent "turning a phone 45 degrees."

Apple is not a huge success because of how "free" some made-up buzz-word is. Fact is, it (and many other businesses) have meticulously carved away the laws it doesn't like through litigation, lobbied to customize the rules to conform to their strategies, and purchased through bribery the patents on concepts that cannot be patented by any sane judge.


Buzz Words

Certain words, even simple and obvious words like "market," take on a new aura of ridiculousness in order to surround a concept in a multi-colored smoke.

Lingo, terminology, language. Whatever you want to call it.  Words that develop some sort of hidden character behind them are very important in large scale doctrines.

For a taste of full-on business man lingo try some of these random bull shit generator sites:
(just hit the button on the sites and be filled with business wisdom)


Gobbledygookhttp://www.plainenglish.co.uk/gobbledygook-generator.html

Corporate Jargon: http://www.changedesigns.net/public/other/leadership-jargon.html


The one that always bugged me in these retarded "meetings" and/or "evaluations" with so-called "super-visors" was the term "you gotta think outside the box!" This term has become so over-used in the last decade that society might want to think about officially retiring it. A standard business meeting with your super visor at work probably goes something like this:


Team Leader: Hey Team! The higher ups just told me our productivity is way down this quarter!

Team: Oh.

Team Leader: Ya! It's really bad you guyz! This quarter we're trying to work directly with the customers to facilitate theirs and the movements of the stakeholders so that we can change the way we project and transform accounts so the innovations are maximized! But, it seems you guyz are slipping and we can't achieve our mid-year goal. Any suggestions on how we can remedy this?

Team: No....but something tells me you have one.

Team Leader: Ya! I do! Get ready for my trouble-shootin', problem solvin' solution of the century you guyz!!!!

Team: Okay...

Team Leader: This coming quarter....we just have to start THINKING OUTSIDE DA BOX!

Team: Sigh.


That's the truest definition of a buzz word. It doesn't solve anything, it doesn't help anything, and it ultimately doesn't mean anything to anyone. It's easy to talk like this and the sad thing is people will actually think you're smart.

To truly be a fire-brand preacher in the religion of giving the business...you need to watch that Gordon Gecko movie a few times, buy a nice three piece suit, and fill your brain with enough buzz words to last you through the next decade (don't worry they never age or go out-of-use or obsolete because they never meant anything in the first damned place).


How 'bout we Make some New Buzz Words?

Look, I honestly believe one thing that will strengthen any economy is raising the minimum wage. If you look at common stats that economists look at like Consumption, Savings, and others you will quickly realize that no matter what country you live in...

...Consumer Spending is at least 2/3 of your country's gosh darned economy.

No joke. No matter how many times you're told otherwise by some lobby group or your government...your county's GDP is over 60% internal consumer spending.

Knowing that, what do you think wrinkly old guys like Allan Greenspan or Ben Bernacke (or the equivalent wrinkly old dudes in your country) do when they notice a drop in consumer spending (i.e. the consumption of consumer goods in a nation)?

Do they,

A) Increase minimum wage to increase the spending cap of millions of their citizens to create an influx of consumption.

or

B) Lower interest rates to almost 0% so everyone can BORROW money and go into DEBT to buy the food and items they want/need in order to artificially create an influx of consumer consumption.

The answer in real life is, of course, (B) they lower interest rates so people borrow money to buy the homes, vehicles, and other items. The down side to this of course is the average debt of the average consumer in your nation synergetically rises in reaction to this.

While if they went the course of (A) and increased Wages to create an increase in Spending...it would not have been an artificial increase but a tangible increase.

It seems quite logical, yet anyone who speaks about increasing minimum wage in any nation is met with scorns of "yer a commie" or shit like that...even though it makes pretty ligit and economically structural formulaic sense.

Thus, we need to create a buzz word...I guess. Arguing to raise minimum wage in a nation should not be referred to in those terms any longer. It should be referred to as Maximizing Consumer Consumptional Power.

You think I'm joking? I'm not joking. Hey, if you go around town going "hey let's raise minimum wage!" you're gonna be called an ingrate, a commie, a bum, and a hundred other things. Yet, if you walk around town going "hey you guyz! I suggest our nation think outside the box here and attempt to Maximize it's Consumer Consumptional Power!!" you probably wouldn't even get one angry look.

Business buzz words are so ingrained in today's society that you might even be met with awe and wonder when you phrase it like that.

Conclusion

A large central core of humans abide by the religion of economy in today's dog-eat-rat world of worlds, and word on the street is...

...you gotta learn the language of business no matter how dumb and absurdly retarded it is.

Raise Consumptional POWER.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Canadian Election Super Power Rankings Mark II

The Incumbent Champion: Prime Minister Stephen Harper

Harp is the first Prime Minister who has ever hailed from the West and is the first Prime Minister who really gave more to the West than the East...and thusly he gets a lot of votes from the West.

Eastern Prime Minsters have messed with the West for many years. For instance, that jabroni Trudeau had a great chance with the Alberta oil sands in the early eighties when an American firm was going to come up and pay for all incurred expenses. This would have created the same job boom that occurred in the West under the Harper administration yet with a HUGE difference...all the jobs and economy boost but NONE of the expenses. To process that shitty oil from the sands has exceeded expected costs astronomically...the boom is already over out there and it was a very costly operation. Think about it though, if we got the boom, the jobs, and the work, but the Yankees covered ALL the costs and how great it would have been (not only for the West but all of Canada)....if only that little fucker Trudeau didn't pretend Canada was a glorious nation that didn't need help from anyone. Trudeau and the National Energy Program placed a ban on all foreign companies from developing oil fields in the "Crown Land." The worst thing about it is that a lot of Canadians knew this was a sure thing and put their life savings into the American firm, and when that shitty Trudeau pulled the plug at the last second he flushed the stock down to pennies in a matter of seconds and many peoples savings along with it. ("Developing Alberta's oil sands: from Karl Clark to Kyoto" By Paul Anthony Chastko is a good read on this era, specifically the "Lost Decade" portion of the book if you are interested in further reading on the matter).





Shit....cool lake bro!
I can see why Western Canada embraces Harper after having to put up with years and years of Easterners fucking with them but I don't think that gives them the right to keep this guy in office for another term. There are hundreds of sites out there devoted to his sins and failings so I don't think I need to get into them. I will bring up my favorite though which is the Fake Lake scandal which is so stupid it's funny. He wasn't thinking of the thousands of people who were going to riot in the streets but was more concerned over giving foreign press a nice backdrop (in a nation with enough lakes as is)...the press got a nice backdrop alright...cops beating kids in the streets. Haha.

Overall Score: 0/10


Michael Ignatieff




Whatchu thinkin' 'bout?
This is a fine young academic ninny and fiction writer from Harvard who thinks he has the chutzpah to be Prime. I feel he preformed the worst in the debates...just repeating his campaign ad over and over and answering softball pre-recorded questions from "concerned citizens" where he got to repeat his ad a few more times. I have the least to say about him because he is the blandest by all means (even more so than Harper).

He reminds me of class elections in school where we got to vote for one kid to be "president," I have a feeling this guy was voted as such as a youth for some reason and I bet it was on a "chocolate milk in the cafeteria" type of platform.

Overall Score: 0/10


Jackie Layton





take it RIGHT as I sign it!
The champion of the youth! Yay! All the university kids love this baldy with all their hearts. He's the "Left" guy, which means he's not "Right"...so that means he's the best. I guess.

I remember being at a David Suzuki talk at a university once and another man was on the docket that evening...a nice man named Albert Gore. The university kids went absolutely batshit buck nuts insane for Al Gore. Why?

Albert Gore is the wife of Tipper Gore (who put some rock and rollers on trial for anti-Christian activities in the eighties), and then he gained notoriety for attempting to become president of America this one time, and at some point he apparently took the initiative to invent the fucking internet. He faded into obscurity after losing the election but resurfaced years later when he felt compelled to make a slide show about pollution which not only won the hearts of some ninnies in Finland who awarded him the Nobel Piece Prize but also idealists around the world who fell in love with him.

These Gore-Groupies are the same ones who think they are saving the world by voting for Jackie Layton. Let's be serious for a minute though, okay? Jack Layton's main shtick is to further "socialize" the country, and make us pay more taxes. We pay a lot of taxes in Canada...we pay taxes on every single dollar we earn, we pay taxes on every single good or service we purchase, and then in April we pay some more taxes, and then we have some armed soldiers running around with a ticket quota taxing us for small infractions we make...and so on...and so on. Then the bureaucracy takes this money and builds fake lakes with it, or uses a few billion of it to hold an Olympiad during a worldwide depression, or pay some crooked mobsters ludicrous amounts of money to do small construction projects, or in the case of the Quebec's Caisse de dépôt in 2009...flat out lose 40 billion of it. The Canadian bureaucracy also features a cute little branch called the Senate, where super smooth rich guys who lived a sweet life or coached hockey for a few years are given large sums of tax payer money to chill out and continue being rich. This is one of the world's biggest and corrupted bureaucracies and anyone suggesting that they need more tax collectors to vacuum up more funds into this bureaucracy is 100% out of his/her mind. For those who insist that Layton is "different" should get real, a bureaucracy of this size has no chance of not being corrupt for it far too large in nature.

Overall Score: 0/10

Gilles Duceppe


For those who insist that he has no place in a federal election because he only represents a geopolitical/linguistic region of Canada must consider that Harper also represents only a small geopolitical/linguistic region of Canada as well. In fact other than Layton who has cute little idealists spread out on all 4 corners of the Nation, every guy in this election represents a balkanized geopolitical region of Canada (Duceppe = Quebec, Ignatieff = Ontario, Harper = Alberta/Saskatchewan) and thusly that argument is false. He has every right to be in this election and similarly he has every right to be as bad as the rest.


Overall Score: 0/10


Conclusion


People always get mad at me when I say I'm not gonna vote, or I'm gonna vote on the back of the ballot for someone more better, but hey...what can you do? They say vote for the lesser of all evils but what if all candidates are equally awful....then what the hell do you do? Who should you vote for?

Honestly, it's a big joke these things but at least in the American ones they got groundbreaking fun stuff going on like getting a black dude or a chick to be president. Look at these bums in Canada, why are they all white men in a nation that is one of the most mosaic in the world? Where are the black dudes, the chicks, the Native Canadians, the Chinese people, can't we get a more inclusive election going one year? Seriously, why is it only these rotten old honky-zombies who get a chance to be Prime Minister?

You wanna know how to get a better voter turnout next year? Do what the Americans did, get a pretty milfy woman who makes the men interested and the women all jealous...and run her against a charismatic black man. The Conservatives have one in stock already, that saucy little Rona Ambrose, and the Liberals can continue their act of recruiting old retired athletes and get in contact with baseball Hall of Famer and Canadian...Ferguson Jenkins. I guarantee a Jenkins vs. Ambrose election will raise voter turnout by upwards of 20 percent.





 *** Election 2012 ***
(that Rona looks like such a bad girl sometimes...)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

For radio transmission 3

Dennis and Pascual

Their stories are very very similar. Both ran into trouble with cocaine and were basically kicked off their teams and no one else wanted them but that great entity the Montreal Expos signed them up and gave them a second chance and both of these guys paid off huge.

After two great years with the Braves, Pascual went 1-13 with a 6.14 ERA in 85 and then was injured all of 86...so no one was really expecting huge things from this guy when they signed him. They got good pitching from him but more importantly a guy with entertainment value that was off the charts. This guy sold tickets.

Pascual Perez was legitimately and wonderfully insane. Not in the bad way but the fun kind you know. I remember getting those Expos calendars on opening day and flipping through them in like 89 or 90...and hitting the Pascual page and being immediately fascinating by this nut. I remember the picture...he had his eyes closed, his hands hanging on to this batting cage fence and he was flashing his teeth with the weirdest smile. Watching this guy pitch was an art...watching how he melded his whackiness into his pitching was like watching performance art. Talking to the ball like it was his pal, looking through his legs at the baserunners...throwing these exaggerated eephus pitches that were literally 10 mile an hour arching rainbow beachballs to the hitters.  Pascual was having fun out there...serious fun out there and I think everyone found him refreshing and entertaining...I'm sure a lot of people who saw baseball as a little boring or stuffy I think were won over as fans by Pascual in the late 80's.



Dennis was the first Nicarauguan to play in the majors. He had some great years for the Orioles pitching with long hair down to his ankles almost. but...

Similar to Perez, Martinez had troubles with his team. He had three straight years with an ERA well over 5 as a starter in a pitching era (so 5 is pretty bad in that era). Expos needed some pitching so they gave the Orioles two bums John Stefero and Rene Gonzalez in exchange for Dennis. They got him do some mopup work to help the staff finish out 86 and that's what he did and not much was expected from him in 87 or after. He was already 32 years old at this point, he was literally a crusty moldy ol' washed up bum. But in 1987 he goes 14 and 4 with a 3.30 ERA and then keeps getting BETTER AND BETTER every successive year for the next 5 seasons! They got 6 stellar ace years out of this guy and as we all know he was responsible for one of the most important and memorable moments in Expos history on that glorious day on July 28th of 1991.

Two days before on the 26th, Mark Gardner had a no-hitter going into the tenth inning and Lenny Harris broke it up. I guess Dennis' competetive edge got going and he was like "hey if you can do I can do it a little better" so two days later he blanks the Dodgers 27 up and 27 down take a seat you jobbers. Chris Gwynn, Tony Gwynn's brother, flied out to the Grip and the greatest announcer ever that man Dave Van Horne  yelled "El Presidente El Perfecto!" and that is without a doubt one of the most historic moments in the long history of the Montreal Expos.

Analysis of Joeseph Ramone's piece, "I donn't wanna go down to the basement"

-------------------------------------
hey daddy-o
I don't wanna go down to the basement
There's somethin' down there.
I don't wanna go
Hey, Romeo(a)
There's somethin' down there
I don't wanna go down to the basement
-------------------------------------

(Introduction)

    In a society where complexity, elusiveness, and convulution of words and ideas is seen as a mark of being "intelligent," it is always refreshing to see a piece of writing which avoids the aforementioned traits in a valiant attempt to remain simple. If a piece of writing is judged on the difficulty of the words it contains, or how strong the author's vocabulary is, or how effectively it convulutes basic simple ideas; it becomes inherent that all the important data of any written work will be ignored in favor of trivial nonsense.

    Author Joeseph Ramone in his work "I Donn't Wanna Go Down to The Basement" shows emphatically that writers do not have to convolute their work in order for it to be a good piece of writing.

    In "I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement" we are ushered into a world of intrigue, uncertainty, and suspense. It is perhaps the greatest work written by any writer throughout the interweaving tapestry of human histories. This essay will look deeper into this treasure trove of information that "I Donn't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" surely is.

--------------------------------------

(Translation of Introduction)

    Yo, honestly bullshit sucks. I hate listening to bullshit. Why can't people just talk normal you know? When people just talk bullshit all the time it gets on my nerves. You ever heard that song where that guy doesn't want to go down to the basement? That songs rules! It's so true! I just can't listen to it while I drive though cause it's that freaking good. Man, I love that song!

---------------------------------------

(Part 1: Basic Grammatical Breakdown)

    The piece opens with the lead character shouting to an unknown party referred to simply as "Daddy-O." The lead character tells Daddy-O that she or he refuses to go down to a location referred to as "The Basement." The reason the lead character gives as to why she or he refuses to go to the basement is due to "Something [being] down there."  The Who, the when, the why, the where, and the how have all been established within the first three lines of the author's work.

   One of the joys of written text is that much is left to the readers own devices and imaginations in order to paint mental pictures of what they perceive the story to mean. Joseph's style of writing is wonderful as it leaves  the reader purposely in the dark to fill in details themselves, and thusly exercise their cognitive skills.

---------------------------------------

(Part 1 translation)

    The dude's all like Yo I don't wanna go down to the basement! He's like scared of something that's down there man!

Yo the dude doesn't even know what the hell's down there.

----------------------------------------   

(Part 2: Synthesizing opinions and arguments to form more experienced opinions)

    In the aspect of written language acting as a cognitive learning tool the process is indeed quite simple.

1. We read or hear data.
2. Said data is then recorded into the brain.
3. We decipher the code it is written in (English, French, Swahili, Morse, etc.)
4. We decipher the Who, What, When, Where and How of the data we have recorded.
5. We then form an opinion on what the data means and what aspects of it are important.

    We have read "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" and have already deciphered what is going on, we must now of course form an opinion on it to complete step number 5.

    My opinion on Joeseph Ramones piece is as follows. I believe that he is attempting to bring to life basic childhood fears which we have all experienced. The song makes us think of when we were young and afraid of things uncertain to us. The father of the lead character has asked his child to go the cellar and bring up a box of salt or some other foodstuff or tool of some kind. The child is reluctant because the cellar is dark and cold and it makes the child feel uneasy and scared. Thusly the child outright refuses to go down into the basement. We can all relate in a point in our lives where we felt uneasy or fearful and Joeseph's work both scares us yet also reminds us all of a simpler time when all we had to fear were silly things like dark basements.

    After forming opinions a new process must begin in order to improve our opinion. It is as follows,

6. We construct our opinion from the inputted data we have received.
7. We formulate our opinion for universal outputting by mentally giving it values within a universal code (Eng, Fr, Sw, Mor)
8. We output our opinions to others
9. Others give their input on said subject
10. We then reformulate our opinion once again using the new data we have to work with.
11. We have thusly synthesized our opinion with others opinions and have a more experienced opinion.

    For example, I may tell my opinion to a someone and then they will in turn tell me their opinion. Let's create a new opinion of Joeseph Ramone's "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" for good measure.

    My opinion of "I Don't Want to Go Down to The Basement" is as follows. I believe that it is a story of a child who lives in a haunted house and dwelling deep within the bowels of this haunted house are ghosts of a ghastly nature. They are ghosts who died many decades ago and reep the land of the living in search of revenge. The child refuses to go down into the basement because he is terrified of these ghosts. This story is ripe with symbolism, the child represents humanity, the basement represents society and the ghosts represent the immobilizing fear of death which exists in all humankind.

    For better measure let us create a third opinion of this work.

    My opinion of "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" is as follows. A man is living in a run down townhouse with five other roomates and it is his turn to clean the basement where they throw their weekly wild parties. The basement is full of hundreds of empty beer bottles, vomit, and other unsightly scenes. There's probably even a guy down there who passed out drunk and smells horrible. The man, obviously, does not want to go down to the basement.

    All three opinion are equally valid and in no way can ever be proved to be false. In fact an infinite amount of reasons can exist as to why the lead character refuses to enter the basement. All that is inherently true that we know to be true is that "Something" is "down there." By creating as many opinions on this as possible we begin to have a more experienced opinion of this piece of writing. The more data we have to synthesize the more complete our opinions will become as a whole. Discourse is instrumental to the learning process.

----------------------------------------------


(Translation of Part 2)

Oh man! I wonder what could be down there? Like a wolf or a wolfman or some week old mayonnaise or some crap! Oh man, it could be anything. My friend says its gotta be like a monster or something but I think it's like a robber or something  like that. It could be anything in that basement! Man this song rules!

This is how we learn stuff:

1. We See it.
2. We Think about it.
3. We Talk about it.
4. And stuff.

-----------------------------------------------

(Part Three: The importance of reducing language to it's simplest terms)

    Why at institutions of learning must ideas always be convoluted into 400 page essays? Is elaboration the true mark of human knowledge?
    Take the most intricate of human languages, Mathematics, as an example. Why in math is it essential to reduce fractions to their simplest terms. How come we never say 2 out of 4 but instead say 1 out of 2? Both are fifty percent of one hundred of course yet it seems stupid in math to say 2 out of 4. In the case of English why is it that simplest terms are seen as being a mark of uneducation? In English it would make sense to always speak in simplest terms so that the maximum amount of people can understand, it makes sense. Why write a ten thousand word essay ripe with convoluted vocabulary when you can write a simple piece which states the same thoughts?
   


------------------------------------------------


(Translation of part 3)

This song rules so much cause the guy keeps it real, he doesn't talk bullshit you know? I hate bullshit, why can't we just keep things more real? When I'm at work and a dude wants me to do something he'll go, like yo go do that thing, the dude wouldn't freaking go into a all kinds of bullshit the dude would just say what had to be done and that's it.