Young Humans and the Art of Coping

Coping means (as stated by the Wikipedia) "constantly changing cognitive and behavioral efforts to manage specific external and/or internal demands that are appraised as taxing" or "exceeding the resources of the person."

Coping is how you take all your troubles and worries, and deal with 'em. That's coping.

Every month there's a new story somewhere about some troubled asshole coward loser who can't cope with life and goes and kills people or themselves (or both). We then all collectively wonder how some fucked up maniac could do such a thing, and we wonder how we can prevent it in the future from happening again.

In terms of preventive measures, some point at measures like outlawing guns, some point to censoring violent video games. Those topics are well covered, but the one I think that is most important, in my opinion, to stop this from happening again is to teach kids the art of coping.

Whenever I see a story where some maniac like that loser in Connecticut has lost it and went on a shooting rampage, I have to wonder what could have possibly made this kid go over the edge. These kids aren't living in a famine-ridden third world country with no way out. They are always regular healthy looking rich enough kids, what was possibly so bad about their lives that they had to lose their fragile minds?

Whenever there are reasons provided behind the stories in all cases the reasons are absurd. Sometimes a kid shoots up his school over being unpopular, or because someone called him a name, or some pointless thing. People are going on shooting sprees for the smallest of first world problems.

There's stories about kids killing themselves because their parents took their X-box away, or a story about a kid who killed himself because he lost his Iphone, or a story about a lady killing herself because some Australians made a joke about the queen of England. People are killing themselves over the silliest of issues.

To me, it all seems to boil down to the ability to cope.

How to do Coping

This is all you have to do to cope, when problems arise, this is how you should mentally respond to them:

When someone calls you a mean name: "Who cares?"

When someone makes fun of you: "Who cares?"

When you lose your Iphone: "Who cares? Fuck that I-Phone. Steve Jobs was a shitstain anyway. What does that billionaire need my money for?"

When your parents take away your x-box: "Fuck X-Box. Bill Gates is a shitstain anyway. What does that billionaire need my money for?"

When someone pokes fun at Royals: "Hahaha, good one!"

There, that is how you cope. That's it. When these problems arise, you don't need to start terminating lives (either yourself or others)...you just need to cope a bit, that's all.

I Love Coping

I've been a mellow person my whole life, and the trick is hardcore coping. I actually personally don't care about anything...AND IT'S GREAT!

If you want my secrets to coping, well, I'll give them to you. Because it seems so many young people can't cope with even pointlessly meaningless problems. If you are a young human and you are reading this, please listen to these following three videos...they may save your life. They are mantras to play in your brain when worries take over.

Firstly, when I was six (young age) my parents showed me the movie Meatballs and it was real funny. There's a part in Meatballs where Mr. Bill Murray teaches young campers how to cope with shit:

The Mantra of "It Just Doesn't Matter" stuck in my young brain forever. "It" really doesn't matter at all. Whatever "It" is that is bothering you...Bill is right...it does not even matter. Are you worried about something? Some stupid thing? Well guess what....It Just Doesn't Matter, bro/sis. This is some of the truest shit anyone ever said, and I'm not even exaggerating...it really is. This shit is TRUE.

Nextly, when I became a greasy teenager-style human, I found some coping potential in this song sung by crooner Robert Wright,

Forget Your Life is pretty true too. What is it that you are worried about? It's Nothing. It not only just doesn't matter at all... but it's actually Nothing. Your worries and troubles are Nothing. It's similar to Just Doesn't Matter but thinking your troubles are Nothing is an even stronger dose of mental cognitive coping.

Finally here's the greateast song I ever heard, it is called "I Don't Care,"

Oh man, this song is so true it's not even funny...and there's only like 10 words in the song so it's really easy to turn into a Mantra that can play in your brain endlessly (I might even be playing this song 24 hours a day subconscoiously in the back of my brain for all I know). It's so simple man...but it's SO TRUE.

Lyrics by Joey Ramone:

I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
About this world
I don't care
About that girl
I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
About these words
I don't care

Conclusion

So, in closing, please youth...don't lose your shit over pointless fucking things anymore. When life is getting you down just cope a bit. Life is easy, it really is...there's never a point to buy guns and go do that sort of thing. Life is a pretty sweet fruit...when you don't care about shit.

Analysis of Joeseph Ramone's piece, "I donn't wanna go down to the basement"

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hey daddy-o
I don't wanna go down to the basement
There's somethin' down there.
I don't wanna go
Hey, Romeo(a)
There's somethin' down there
I don't wanna go down to the basement
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(Introduction)

    In a society where complexity, elusiveness, and convulution of words and ideas is seen as a mark of being "intelligent," it is always refreshing to see a piece of writing which avoids the aforementioned traits in a valiant attempt to remain simple. If a piece of writing is judged on the difficulty of the words it contains, or how strong the author's vocabulary is, or how effectively it convulutes basic simple ideas; it becomes inherent that all the important data of any written work will be ignored in favor of trivial nonsense.

    Author Joeseph Ramone in his work "I Donn't Wanna Go Down to The Basement" shows emphatically that writers do not have to convolute their work in order for it to be a good piece of writing.

    In "I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement" we are ushered into a world of intrigue, uncertainty, and suspense. It is perhaps the greatest work written by any writer throughout the interweaving tapestry of human histories. This essay will look deeper into this treasure trove of information that "I Donn't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" surely is.

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(Translation of Introduction)

    Yo, honestly bullshit sucks. I hate listening to bullshit. Why can't people just talk normal you know? When people just talk bullshit all the time it gets on my nerves. You ever heard that song where that guy doesn't want to go down to the basement? That songs rules! It's so true! I just can't listen to it while I drive though cause it's that freaking good. Man, I love that song!

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(Part 1: Basic Grammatical Breakdown)

    The piece opens with the lead character shouting to an unknown party referred to simply as "Daddy-O." The lead character tells Daddy-O that she or he refuses to go down to a location referred to as "The Basement." The reason the lead character gives as to why she or he refuses to go to the basement is due to "Something [being] down there."  The Who, the when, the why, the where, and the how have all been established within the first three lines of the author's work.

   One of the joys of written text is that much is left to the readers own devices and imaginations in order to paint mental pictures of what they perceive the story to mean. Joseph's style of writing is wonderful as it leaves  the reader purposely in the dark to fill in details themselves, and thusly exercise their cognitive skills.

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(Part 1 translation)

    The dude's all like Yo I don't wanna go down to the basement! He's like scared of something that's down there man!

Yo the dude doesn't even know what the hell's down there.

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(Part 2: Synthesizing opinions and arguments to form more experienced opinions)

    In the aspect of written language acting as a cognitive learning tool the process is indeed quite simple.

1. We read or hear data.
2. Said data is then recorded into the brain.
3. We decipher the code it is written in (English, French, Swahili, Morse, etc.)
4. We decipher the Who, What, When, Where and How of the data we have recorded.
5. We then form an opinion on what the data means and what aspects of it are important.

    We have read "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" and have already deciphered what is going on, we must now of course form an opinion on it to complete step number 5.

    My opinion on Joeseph Ramones piece is as follows. I believe that he is attempting to bring to life basic childhood fears which we have all experienced. The song makes us think of when we were young and afraid of things uncertain to us. The father of the lead character has asked his child to go the cellar and bring up a box of salt or some other foodstuff or tool of some kind. The child is reluctant because the cellar is dark and cold and it makes the child feel uneasy and scared. Thusly the child outright refuses to go down into the basement. We can all relate in a point in our lives where we felt uneasy or fearful and Joeseph's work both scares us yet also reminds us all of a simpler time when all we had to fear were silly things like dark basements.

    After forming opinions a new process must begin in order to improve our opinion. It is as follows,

6. We construct our opinion from the inputted data we have received.
7. We formulate our opinion for universal outputting by mentally giving it values within a universal code (Eng, Fr, Sw, Mor)
8. We output our opinions to others
9. Others give their input on said subject
10. We then reformulate our opinion once again using the new data we have to work with.
11. We have thusly synthesized our opinion with others opinions and have a more experienced opinion.

    For example, I may tell my opinion to a someone and then they will in turn tell me their opinion. Let's create a new opinion of Joeseph Ramone's "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" for good measure.

    My opinion of "I Don't Want to Go Down to The Basement" is as follows. I believe that it is a story of a child who lives in a haunted house and dwelling deep within the bowels of this haunted house are ghosts of a ghastly nature. They are ghosts who died many decades ago and reep the land of the living in search of revenge. The child refuses to go down into the basement because he is terrified of these ghosts. This story is ripe with symbolism, the child represents humanity, the basement represents society and the ghosts represent the immobilizing fear of death which exists in all humankind.

    For better measure let us create a third opinion of this work.

    My opinion of "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" is as follows. A man is living in a run down townhouse with five other roomates and it is his turn to clean the basement where they throw their weekly wild parties. The basement is full of hundreds of empty beer bottles, vomit, and other unsightly scenes. There's probably even a guy down there who passed out drunk and smells horrible. The man, obviously, does not want to go down to the basement.

    All three opinion are equally valid and in no way can ever be proved to be false. In fact an infinite amount of reasons can exist as to why the lead character refuses to enter the basement. All that is inherently true that we know to be true is that "Something" is "down there." By creating as many opinions on this as possible we begin to have a more experienced opinion of this piece of writing. The more data we have to synthesize the more complete our opinions will become as a whole. Discourse is instrumental to the learning process.

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(Translation of Part 2)

Oh man! I wonder what could be down there? Like a wolf or a wolfman or some week old mayonnaise or some crap! Oh man, it could be anything. My friend says its gotta be like a monster or something but I think it's like a robber or something  like that. It could be anything in that basement! Man this song rules!

This is how we learn stuff:

1. We See it.
2. We Think about it.
3. We Talk about it.
4. And stuff.

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(Part Three: The importance of reducing language to it's simplest terms)

    Why at institutions of learning must ideas always be convoluted into 400 page essays? Is elaboration the true mark of human knowledge?
    Take the most intricate of human languages, Mathematics, as an example. Why in math is it essential to reduce fractions to their simplest terms. How come we never say 2 out of 4 but instead say 1 out of 2? Both are fifty percent of one hundred of course yet it seems stupid in math to say 2 out of 4. In the case of English why is it that simplest terms are seen as being a mark of uneducation? In English it would make sense to always speak in simplest terms so that the maximum amount of people can understand, it makes sense. Why write a ten thousand word essay ripe with convoluted vocabulary when you can write a simple piece which states the same thoughts?
   


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(Translation of part 3)

This song rules so much cause the guy keeps it real, he doesn't talk bullshit you know? I hate bullshit, why can't we just keep things more real? When I'm at work and a dude wants me to do something he'll go, like yo go do that thing, the dude wouldn't freaking go into a all kinds of bullshit the dude would just say what had to be done and that's it.