Is Freshness the Reason Behind the Hate On for P.K. Subban?

A lot of people were wondering why the reigning Norris trophy winner and excellent hockey player P.K. Subban was benched during the Olympic games in Sochi.

I was excited to watch these games and was sort of disappointed that Subban only appeared in 11 minutes of one game during the entire tournament.

Everyone seems to hate on Subban all the time, all the time, over somewhat pointless things and I'm not sure I understand it.

One thing is for sure, he doesn't look like your average NHL player. He looks more like an athlete you'd find in the NBA, or NFL, or MLB than someone you'd find in the NHL. He's charismatic and flashy...he's rather Fresh, I'd say.

He has an urban flair to himself that is more common in other sports. The NBA especially has the most urban feel to it, The NBA has a sort of hip hop persona that gives it a lot of flavor. Urban freshness is not only accepted in the NBA but encouraged.

The NFL is the next most "fresh" sport, and even MLB baseball which was once regarded to be as "country club" a sport as golf has a had a major make over during the last five decades or so.

Yet even baseball shuns urban elements as not being part of its image. Take the case of Lastings Milledge who created a big hub-bub over releasing a rap album while in the Mets triple-A organization. (Article by Deadspin on Lasting's rap fiasco).

The writer in the article linked above states this would have caused no one to look twice if it were the NBA and Milledge was releasing a rap album, but baseball doesn't want "rap" in its image. It still sort of wants to retain a golf-esque country club atmosphere to its institution...which is odd considering only 63% of baseball players are still howdy doody white guys in the present era.

I don't know if anyone's really noticed...but there's not a whole lot of guys in the NHL who are not howdy doody farm boys. In fact Subban might be the only player in the NHL today who could be described as being "urban."

Which begs the question...


NHL: Fear of Freshness?

Is fear of freshness a real phobia that I didn't make up? Of course it is, it's called Chill-A-Phobia and it's not a made a up mental condition by any means.

The NHL comes across as being super uptight and lame...

Please read the following article: http://sports.nationalpost.com/2013/02/02/don-cherry-is-glad-to-see-the-end-of-the-p-k-subban-carey-price-triple-low-five/

It details the shocking behavior displayed by Subban which SHOCKED an entire nation. What did he do? Well, he had the nerve to dare to preform a "triple low five."

What is it? Well, as opposed to the "high five" which we are all familiar with, Subban and his teammate Carey Price would turn the high five upside-down and preform the greeting/soul-shake at a below-knee vantage point...and then had the audacity to multiply the quantity of the "fives" by three resulting in the aforementioned "triple low five."

Can you believe it? That someone would turn a high five upside down and raise the frequency by 2 units? It's....it's....it's....deplorable is what it is. I myself was shocked, amazed, and horrified (that so much could be so compromised).

The TLF was banned by the Canadiens organization in response to the collective shock that the nation felt whilst viewing this obscene gesture by Subban and Price.

Now if you're sitting there and thinking to yourself..."wait, what? All this fuss over a low-five? What the flying fuck?" then you are probably a good and normal person. Yet to truly understand the shock generated by this you really have to immerse yourself in the customs of the region to truly understand why this was such a huge deal.

Canada Itself: A Fear of Freshness?

It's time for some Canadian trivia !!

Didja know: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air starring Will Smith was originally banned in Canada? It's a fact jack.

Didja Know: Milk comes in these weird ass bags in Canada because Mennonites in Alberta believed milk in cartons promoted promiscuity and lobbied the government to outlaw milk in cartons? You can't make this shit up even if you tried.

Canada is kind of weird sometimes. Its leader for instance is an Evangelical Christian who doesn't believe in evolution. It can be sort of an odd place at times.

The average Canadian person spends their day cutting down trees or some thing like that, then at night they say their prayers to their beloved God, and then they fall asleep with pleasant dreams of painting the Queen of England's toe-nails.

They are a simple agrarian society who lead very boring lives. Hockey is the one saving grace that they can hope for. Hockey represents the golden ray of hope that every illiterate Canadian huckster can become a multi-millionaire.

Forget just millionaire, it's a way for an illiterate man to be appointed to government and live off tax payers money. For example, take Jacques Demers who is 100% illiterate but was appointed a senator and is now an official in the Canadian government. What other country on earth could you be both illiterate and a government official? Wow what a place!

The image the NHL is going for...is the Super Hoser image. The prototype is the illiterate good ole country boy who rose against all odds and made a million bucks and got his name into the hall of fame. You can do it too! Your illiterate in-bred son who drinks paint all day can have his name in the hall of fame too!

Now, P.K. Subban is the furthest thing from an illiterate in-bred country boy. Some might say he's even breaking the mold and adding a real urban flavor to the NHL...and most if not all hard-line traditionalists don't like this very much.

NHL: Time to Catch Up?

Look, there are seven big huge sports leagues in the Americas and their popularity and revenue go in this order:

1. NFL
2. MLB
3. Formula 1
4. NBA
5. PGA
6. CONMEBOL (South American Soccer League)
7. NHL
8. PGBA (Professional Girls Badmington Association)

The popularity of the NHL in the Americas is over-estimated at best by its fans. A new image really wouldn't hurt a silly ass league that makes a fuss about low-fivin'.

The only thing that sells the league right now is the fighting. If they took fighting out of hockey no one outside of 5 cities would ever go to any more games.

I've seen the NHL referred to on the internet as "furpuck" lately. It seems people are implying that if all sports were porno genres then the porno genre most comparable to the NHL would be a disturbing niche porn like furry porn. It's mean and I would never compare anything, even my worst enemy to furry porn (which is an abomination to the eyes and brain)...but I just want to point out that most people view the NHL as being super lame and with good reason.

I found the MLB's reaction to Lastings Milledge's rap album as being way over the top and silly...so I have a hard time understanding a league like the NHL who can't even handle "low fives" without getting their panties in a knot...it is almost unheard of to even think about how that's even possible.

In Conclusion

Now, this is a story all about how

Triple Low Fives turned the NHL upside down
And I like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how P.K. became the prince of the NHL

In west Ontario born and raised
On the playground was where he spent most of his days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some slaphshots outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin being super lame in the neighborhood

I whistled for a cab and when it came near

The license plate said fresh and it had a CH in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Montréal'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of The NHL

A little bit of freshness never hurt nobody. GO HABS GO! 

The Super Mammal Side-Scroller of the Ages!

I've wroted blog articles (bloticles?) on all sorts of shit. The ones that get most of the hits are the silly ones about video games though. So, here's one 'bout video games.

Well, I must say I do enjoy a nice video game every now and then. A nice warm cup of tea, a relaxing arm or wing chair...and a good old fashioned side-scroller or two. Sometimes I feel like a nice Super Mammal Side Scroller if I find the fancy. If I must say, at times, I do indeed find the fancy. Without any further meaningless set-up, I would like to now present the award for Super Mammal Side-Scroller of the Ages.

The finalists for this prestigious award are: 

- Cheetah Men 2 (by Active Enterprises)

- Bio Force Ape (by SETA)

Obvious Omission

I'm a let me finish, but yo, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have had some of the best damn sides-crollers of all time.

 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49OKDTQZwk)

Da Da Du-Da-Du Da DA! 

Ok, yes it is true that the TMNT games on NES were the shit (the motherfucking shit) but the fact remains that Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are not mammals...those guys are reptiles, dude. Reptiles have cold blood, but mammals have warm blood....and, I think reptiles stalk their prey with heat vision.

Either way, no Ninja Turtle side scrollahs can be considered for Super Mammal Side-Scroller of the Ages due to them not being mammals. Thus they are obviously omitted from consideration for that sole reason.

Moving on,

Cheetah Men 2

Listen to this good ass shit right here,

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkmbbZZOgKg)

Neer-Neer--Na-Na-NEEEER! Neer-Neer-Na-Na-NEEEER!

Yeah, that's the beats right there. That makes me feel like dancin' on the jack groove (maybe even the jack move n' groove). Hold up check this out...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7b0pp9O4Ec)
REMIX !!!

Those Cheetah Mans know how to get down. Anyways, who are the Cheetah Men?

Oh fuck you, Morbis.

Story Synopsis: The unrelentlessly evil Dr. Morbis murders a cheetah whilst vacationing in the vast Serengeti region of Africa. The dastardly mad scientist proceeds to kidnap her three cheetah cubs and keep them as prisoners in his lab.

Dr. Morbis preforms terrible genetic experiments on the poor defenseless cheetah cubs. By the time they reach adolescence they became fully cognizant cheetah-men (half-cheetah / half-man men).

Realizing the evil intent of Dr. Morbis our three protagonists Aries, Apollo, and Hercules break out of the lab and vow revenge on Dr. Morbis. In defense Morbis creates dozens of evil genetic monstrosities to kill the Cheetah Men ranging from half-man/half-hyenas to half-man/half-rhinos...to the dreaded Ape-Man.

Is this game good? NO.

It was only released on something called "action-52" which sold 52 games on one cartridge. The reason this cartridged had 52 games on it but cost the same price as a cartridge with one game on it is because all 52 games sucked ass and were bad.

It sucks, man. Like things don't even blow up when you kill them or anything...they just disappear. What kind of side-scroller doesn't make the things you kill blow up or explode? A stupid side scroller that's what kind.

Cheetah Men 2 has good music for a DJ to spin at one of those drug-people rave-parties...but it's not a good video game. No way, Jose.

Final Score: -34/100

Bio Force Ape

Intense Mine Cart Level

Story Synopsis: BFA is a pretty crazy dude, man. He was once the pet monkey of a brilliant non-mad scientist yet when a rival science gang kidnaps the non-mad scientist and his family...the monkey gets super pissed off and drinks a vial of serum from the research lab and undergoes a mass transmogrification into a roided up testerone-ridden Super Ape Man hellbent on all sorts of crazy revenge.

BFA has to track down the kidnapped individuals through 3 levels and obstacles aplenty stand in his way. Henchmens, half-man / half-bees, half-man / half-crocodiles, and all sorts of shit don't want BFA to achieve his goal.

Guys you kill in this game don't blow up either though...but at least they fly off the screen pretty ceremoniously. If it's a sub-boss or a boss, they get reversed german-suplexed, piledrived, or perfect-plexed...and THEN fly off the screen ceremoniously. So it's all good.

Is this game good? Yeah, I guess.

It's not as bad as Cheetah Men 2 but it's certainly no Turtles in Time that's for god damned friggin' sure. It's by no stretch a Metal Slug and that's a fact jack. Yet, this game has some pretty fluid (6?)-frames-per-second animations and at least BFA is a fucking bad ass dude who knows a heckuva lot of wrestling moves. Plus, a lotta games have minecart levels but not many are as intense as the BFA minecart level, son.

Final Score: 39/100 

Well it looks like Bio Force Ape by SETA is the Super Mammal Side Scroller of the....wait...hold the phone....

A CHALLENGER APPEARS

Yester-damn-day, someone got tired of Super Mammal Side Scrollers sucking and released what appears to be a genuine Super Mammal Side-Scroller and it might very well give these Cheetah Mens and Bio Force Apes a run for their money when it comes to crowning a SMSS of the Ages.

This game was made by the same great people who made Abobo's Big Adventure so you know this game is on the up-and-up right off the bat. 

Story Synopsis: A gorilla was chilling way down in the jungle deep, doing his thing and not bothering nobody when an evil corporation happened upon him and straight up kidnapped him. 

The mad scientists brought the poor gorilla to the corporation's lab where they routinely test products on poor defenseless animals. They had a new line of chainsaws and pogo sticks coming to market and they decided to test them out on their new gorilla specimen. Naturally they removed his arms and replaced them with chainsaws and then obviously removed his legs and replaced them with a pogo stick. For good measure they hot wired his frame to an internal super computer which gave him advanced bionic six-million-dollar-man-esque capabilities.

Turns out this wasn't a good idea as the Bionic Chainsaw Pogo Gorilla escaped from the lab and now has to navigate his way through various sub-basements of the facility in order to reach the top and exact revenge...BIONIC CHAINSAW POGO REVENGE !!!

Is this game good? Yeah.

Yo, when you kill stuff in this game it blows up, that's for damn sure. Even christmas trees and vending machines were blowing up into bloody messes of blood and explosions. Man, I was holding down the pogo button, the chainsaw-spin button, and the extendo-chainsaw-spin button all at the same time and rushing through the levels...everything in those levels was getting blowed up, exploding, and bleeding, and dying around me...I was like..."holy, shit."

I thought I had a seizure...but I didn't. I think my brain was just trying to tell me that this is The Super Mammal Side-Scroller of the Ages that it had for so long been seeking.

Man alive. Man alive. Some of the power-ups in this game are vicious and awesome, and they are all yelled at you when you get them by Roger Barr's iconic voice-over voice. MEGA-SAWS! EXTENDO-SAWS! MASSIVE DAMAGE! DEATH SPIKE! SHADOW CLONES! PROJECTILES! INVINCIBLE! 

Dang, that cat Roger Barr really seems to enjoy yelling...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhmeElUNjbw)
 
He has a legitimate qualm with the Goonies, I must say.

Anyways, like Abobo's Big Adventure this game is FREE, bro. So yeah, play it...

Here: http://games.adultswim.com/bionic-chainsaw-pogo-gorilla-action-online-game.html

Conclusion

Over the vast intertwining years in the calendar of life there has no doubt been many Super Mammal Side-Scrollers yet only one game can be Of the Ages and that game without any regret, second guessing, or further deliberation can be declared...

Bionic Chainsaw Pogo Gorilla.

The Greatest of People who are not Presently in the Baseball Hall of Fame

I write a lot about Expos stuff...because I miss them. I don't want to be bias though so I'm going to write a baseball piece about non-Expo related matters for a change.

I don't follow much baseball any longer (after 2004) but if it was from 1986 until 2004 then I know a lot about that era. Also, with internet these days it's becoming easier and easier to look into past eras (data logs, video logs, newspaper articles, etc.)

Alright, so other than Timmy Raines, here's a quick look at some other great mans that are not in the Hall of Legendary Fame.

Alan Trammell

I was more into the National League back int the day but I followed AL too. Two guys that were fixtures in the AL back in my day were a tandem of middle infielders in Detroit. The second baseman was Sweet Lou Whitaker and the shortstop was Alan Trammell.

Aside from Cal Ripken Jr., Trammell was the premier shortstop in the AL during the eighties and into the nineties. Over in the NL the main guy was Ozzie Smith. Let's look at these players career stat lines, even though Gold Gloves are an arbitrary judge-voted stat I will still include them. First look at the stat lines without the bias of knowing who's name is next to the stats:


Player A: .767 OPS, 1231 Runs Scored, 1003 RBI, 236/345 Stolen Bases, 4 Golden Gloves (in 9376 plate appearances)

Player B: .788 OPS, 1645 Runs Scored, 1695 RBI, 36/75 Stolen Bases, 2 Golden Gloves (in 12883 plate appearances)


Player C: .666 OPS, 1257 Runs Scored, 793 RBI, 580/728 Stolen Bases, 13 Golden Gloves (in 9396 plate appearances)


Players B and C are in the Hall of Fame, yet player A is not. The stats denote the following:

A: Trammell
B: Ripken
C: Smith

Now, I think defense is a huge part of the game and I think Ozzie Smith was a great player...(but, let me finish)...there's no way anyone can say that Ozzie Smith was a better player than Alan Trammell under any circumstances. I love Ozzie, but, he was a gimmicky guy, he'd take the field by doing a series of acrobatic flips and tumbles...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6-BgGHQt24)

I admit this was a fan favorite gimmick and totally awesome but doing parlor tricks doesn't make you win more games. If people were voting for the Barnum and Bailey Circus Hall of Fame then I could understand why Ozzie Smith would be a first balloter while Alan Trammell is left out, but this is not the circus Hall of Fame, it's the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Smith and Trammell have similar plate appearances and played in the exact same era (albeit in opposite leagues), there is no conceivable way that Ozzie Smith is a first ballot inductee while Trammell  doesn't even get in. This is kind of absurd.

I dunno, maybe Trammell should have done a magic show or a couple of card tricks prior to taking the field to ensure the voters liked him better. Having an OPS over 100 points higher won't make you better than the Wizard of Oz, you needed a gimmick dude.


Mike Marshall

This one is cheating a bit because Mike Marshall did pitch for the Expos but either way Mike should be in.

Marshall pitched for 9 different teams in his career. He started with the Tigers then quickly went to Seattle, Houston, and then to Montreal...he pitched for 4 different teams in his first 3 years in the bigs. Why? Mike earned the label of "non-conformist" early on in his career and was not the type of guy coaches and management wanted around.

Mike Marshall has an interesting back story. He was a Man of the Science and he took a strange approach to pitching that most would not have considered. He took a fully full-on scientific approach to pitching. The physics and kinetics or the movements the arm makes while trying to achieve the right speed/movement/break on pitches are understandable to the human brain that wishes to observe them. Knowing the biology of the human arm will also help you understand how to manipulate it and operate it in a way that will not cause excessive damage to the arm.

Marshall perfected the pitch called the "Screw Ball" with his scientific approach to pitching. The pitch is basically a breaking ball that breaks the OPPOSITE direction of the throwing arm (a right handed pitcher would throw a pitch that broke away to the right of his arm instead of to the left).

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7DcddkBtos)

I respect Men of The Science

His early coaches in Detroit, Seattle, and Houston told Mike not to throw this crazy ass science pitch because they viewed it as being retarded. Umpires and opposing coaches accused him of cheating or using a substance (spit, vassaline, root cream oil, etc.) to break the ball like that.

Marshall didn't want to stop throwing the pitch which he believed wasn't retarded and he knew wasn't cheating. This refusal won him the label of "non-conformist" throughout the league and almost got him blackballed by baseball.

The fourth team Marshall wound up with in his first 3 major league years was the recently added Montreal Expos franchise. Still in the expansion years and losing game after game, coach Gene Mauch told Marshall that he didn't give a shit what kind of pitch Marshall wanted to throw because the team wasn't going to be in contention in 1970 anyway.

Mike freely developed his scientific take on the screw ball and by 1972 was pitching over 100 innings out of the bullpen for the Expos while putting up ERAs of 1.78 (not bad). He went on to put up similar stats out of the pen for the Dodgers and even won the Cy Young award in 1974.

People who watch baseball now a days have to understand that pitcher use was different in these bygone years. Now a days a starter does 5 innings, then a middle man comes in to do 2 innings, then a set up guy comes in for the 8th, and finally a closer in the 9th. Even in a low scoring game of 2-1...we see a team use up to 5 pitchers.

Back in the day it was 4-man starting rotations, you had one or two good pitchers in the pen, and a bunch of bums to pitch in blowouts and meaningless/nothing-on-the-line games. Healthy starters used to get close to 400 innings pitched per year and some relievers used to get well over 100 innings per year.

The "best" relievers now a days are judged by the Saves stat...yet it is probably the most gimmicky and pointless stat ever. How many games are won and lost in the eight innings prior to the ninth? Is the ninth inning some sort of magic inning where if you keep the opposing team to a goose-egg in that inning you automatically win the game? No. There's nothing more special about shutting a team's hitters down in the 9th inning than the 4th inning or any other inning.

People fawn over 50 saves in a season from guys like Hoffman or Gagné...but some pitchers who achieved that only pitched fucking 55 innings all season long. What's next? The left handed specialist who pitches to 50 batters all year but has a 1.50 ERA is an all-star? I don't think so.

Marshall would work in close to 100 games a year, finish out 75 of them, get 12-15 wins, and rack up 20 to 30 saves. Mike pitched over 200 innings out of the bullpen the year he won the Cy Young. The year reliever Eric Gagné won the Cy Young out of the pen he pitched in only 82 innings and won only 2 games. Trevor Hoffman saved 53 games one year...but only pitched in 73 innings all season.

Can a reliever from that era make the Hall? Yes, Goose Gossage did...and truth be told Goose's career stats are pretty similar to Mike Marshall's and Goose never won a Cy Young in his career. Plus Mike Marshall was a Man of the Science too.

Goose is in, but Mike only received 1.5% of the vote when his name came up. Odd, in a way.


Dick Allen

Mike Marshall was labelled and stigmatized as being a "non-conformist" and trouble maker, another player, Dick Allen, was perceived under much worse labels. Dick's name around the league was never in good standing and it really hurt him when Hall of Fame voting came up.

His back story is interesting too and his label as a trouble maker was undeserved as well. Dick came up through the Phillies system at a time where Frank Thomas (no not THAT one, this Frank Thomas was an ugly white guy) was a fan favorite and recently added to Phillies organization. Frank was an old veteran guy of 35 years old and he was pretty old school. He'd make fun of the black guys on the team and the way they shook hands (soul shakin') by pretending to be down and offering up a hand for a soul shake...but then Frank would grab the kid's thumb and pull it back as hard as he could.

Dick Allen even as a "kid" was a pretty big dude, we're talking a low-center of gravity 5'11 187 pounds. When he was coming up in 1964 he didn't really care for the way Frank Thomas was abusing the trust of the sacred soul shake with the brothers on the team. He told the 6 foot 3 / 200 pounder Frank Thomas right to his fucking face that if he pulled that shit again with the soul shake that he'd get him back. 

Truth be told, Frank kept pulling the stunt and lo...Dick Allen got mad and apparently Thomas hit him with a bat...leading to a violent fight.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uWvkxj-C64)

As told by that historian, Thomas was released and Allen was forbidden from talking to the press about the incident. The Philadelphia papers framed the altercation with Allen as the antagonist and Thomas as the protagonist. The fans in Philly took to booing and hating on Dick Allen every time he took the field in his home park of Connie Mack Stadium.

The label of Dick being a trouble maker took shape at that moment and it never let up. Allen had an OPS of OVER 900 in his rookie year (earning the rookie of the year award in 1964)...yet was the most hated player in Philadelphia history. That's kind of fucking ludicrous. It's abso-ludicrous.

Dick went on to have an OVER 900 OPS his whole entire career...finishing with a .912 career OPS. Yet his max Hall of Fame voting % only climbed to 18% at its highest point. Maybe he needed a gimmick too like Ozzie Smith...oh wait, he even had a gimmick.

Hey, listen to Dick's sweet singin' voice from his album. If you don't feel whimsical and begin remembering fond memories of a past love while listening to this song then you probably have no emotions: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJDDs7ohpJk)

...and when Deceeeeember came and my dreams still echoed your name...

Jeez...he had a killer career and a gimmick, what do the voters want? No one can ever tell. You can see from his voice that he's a soft and caring guy. Obviously swimming in the fish bowl of hate which was Connie Mack stadium in the mid-sixties was difficult for him and the jeers didn't exactly roll off his back.

Dick took to writing things in the dirt while in the field. People saw this as a sort of protest from a trouble maker...but it wasn't that. He would write things like his mother's name while he played and listened to the boos...or sometimes he'd even write "boo" in the dirt.

This wasn't a trouble maker, this was a soft hearted guy trying to deal with constant emotional stress. His dirt scribbles were just something to regain his composure and to lean on. That's why he'd write something like his mother's name in the field..to lean on it.

Remember that Simpsons where Homer explains why he has no pictures of Maggie in his home? It was because they were where he needed them most...at his horrible job. The pictures were something for Homer to lean on at a place where he hated being. Dick Allen's scribbles were more along those lines than a trouble maker trying to provoke the fans as it was perceived back then.

Conclusion 

Trammell, Marshall, and Allen were really good at baseball.

Re-Visiting The Economy: A Riveting Tale of Buzz-Words and Unkillable Myths

Macro Economics

The biggest surge/spike of hits that this blog ever received was in September of the Year 2011 when I wrote on the subject of Economy.

Here: My Mind on Economy and Economy on My Mind

It's a very silly article which sort of pokes fun at the absurdity of today's human world by attempting to create humor by using examples from a very old video game. The conclusion attempts to compare the concept of "Economy" to the concept of a giant dinosaur.

I'm not trying to offend when I poke fun at things, you know. I just don't think any topic should have a sacredness surrounding it. I don't think religion should, I don't think nationalism should...and I don't think a concept as presently in-style as "economy" should have any sacredness devoted to it either.

The concept of Economy is becoming the new religion of the times. It will or already has become the flavor of the week in our ever-transgressing human timeline. The results of elections in most countries are decided by how a politician talks about the Economy. Re-wind to 500 years ago, rulers and rule-makers were decided by how a person talked about Religion.

Now, we look back at the way things worked in the 1400s and laugh. We think, "wow they really trusted some king because he said he was sent down from heaven by some whacky god? Haha." Or we think, "holy crap, they really honestly believed that someone lived in the sky and watched over the earth? What a bunch of dorks."

Fast-Forward to 500 years from now and people will be saying the same thing about us. They might say, "Wow, those morons created a currency system based on shiny metals and then let the whole system take over and control their lives? Wow, that's stupid." Or maybe people in 2513 will say something like, "Holy crap, they used to elect their rulers by which ones used the cutest buzz-words to describe their currency system? What a bunch of dweebs"

Similar to Religion and similar to Nationalism...the notion of "Economy" has to be routinely subjected to satirical jabs or barbs to ensure that people never take it too serious or extreme.

Economy as Religion / Economy as Nation

The land of Economy is as much make believe as the lands in our minds that exist when we attempt to conceptualize Religion or Nation.

In the magical land of economy a great benevolent force known simply as "the Market" watches over us and makes sure we never come to harm. The Market will solve all problems, it will cure your aches and pains, it will make your penis 3 inches larger (or your breasts on cup size larger). The Market will never hurt you...it's your friend. You can pray to the Market...you can even ritually sacrifice small creatures to it.

Hey, if you were Ronnie Reagan you could hire an astrological see-er and have her cast astrological projections on the mysterious Market (100% true occurrence). If you live in the Asia, you can read the Book of Changes and throw sticks on the ground to try and figure out the future of the Market.

The funny thing is, just like the deities in all Religions and the heroes of all Nations...there never was and never will be a divine force known as The Market. A "free market" is literally people doing whatever they want...and you can tell by how many white collar rules and laws exist that no one can do whatever they want.

The "Market" is rigidly chained together by texts, books, sheets, and copy books of LAWS. The businesses who talk about how "free" the "market" is are the same businesses who spend billions of dollars to lobby the governments of the world to change laws to customize the playing field in their favor.

Lawyers are CEOs best friends. Don't believe me? How come mp3s and other formats are so easy to share online within seconds...yet it is 100% illegal to put an mp3 on the internet for others to save to their computer terminals? Because someone lobbied to the government of your country to make a law which disallows you from doing that. The simplest way for human A to share a song he/she likes with a human B is just to send the mp3 to their computer....but that's 100% illegal. When the simplest way of doing what you want to do becomes illegal then you know something is up.

Yo, fucking Apple has paid lawyers to patent EVERYTHING. Another company can barely even offer a service using the alphabet without being attacked by Apple's lawyers. They paid billions of dollars to get the patent on things you wouldn't even believe could be patented.

In this blueprint, Apple applies to patent "turning a phone 45 degrees."

Apple is not a huge success because of how "free" some made-up buzz-word is. Fact is, it (and many other businesses) have meticulously carved away the laws it doesn't like through litigation, lobbied to customize the rules to conform to their strategies, and purchased through bribery the patents on concepts that cannot be patented by any sane judge.


Buzz Words

Certain words, even simple and obvious words like "market," take on a new aura of ridiculousness in order to surround a concept in a multi-colored smoke.

Lingo, terminology, language. Whatever you want to call it.  Words that develop some sort of hidden character behind them are very important in large scale doctrines.

For a taste of full-on business man lingo try some of these random bull shit generator sites:
(just hit the button on the sites and be filled with business wisdom)


Gobbledygook:  http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/gobbledygook-generator.html

Corporate Jargon: http://www.changedesigns.net/public/other/leadership-jargon.html


The one that always bugged me in these retarded "meetings" and/or "evaluations" with so-called "super-visors" was the term "you gotta think outside the box!" This term has become so over-used in the last decade that society might want to think about officially retiring it. A standard business meeting with your super visor at work probably goes something like this:


Team Leader: Hey Team! The higher ups just told me our productivity is way down this quarter!

Team: Oh.

Team Leader: Ya! It's really bad you guyz! This quarter we're trying to work directly with the customers to facilitate theirs and the movements of the stakeholders so that we can change the way we project and transform accounts so the innovations are maximized! But, it seems you guyz are slipping and we can't achieve our mid-year goal. Any suggestions on how we can remedy this?

Team: No....but something tells me you have one.

Team Leader: Ya! I do! Get ready for my trouble-shootin', problem solvin' solution of the century you guyz!!!!

Team: Okay...

Team Leader: This coming quarter....we just have to start THINKING OUTSIDE DA BOX!

Team: Sigh.


That's the truest definition of a buzz word. It doesn't solve anything, it doesn't help anything, and it ultimately doesn't mean anything to anyone. It's easy to talk like this and the sad thing is people will actually think you're smart.

To truly be a fire-brand preacher in the religion of giving the business...you need to watch that Gordon Gecko movie a few times, buy a nice three piece suit, and fill your brain with enough buzz words to last you through the next decade (don't worry they never age or go out-of-use or obsolete because they never meant anything in the first damned place).


How 'bout we Make some New Buzz Words?

Look, I honestly believe one thing that will strengthen any economy is raising the minimum wage. If you look at common stats that economists look at like Consumption, Savings, and others you will quickly realize that no matter what country you live in...

...Consumer Spending is at least 2/3 of your country's gosh darned economy.

No joke. No matter how many times you're told otherwise by some lobby group or your government...your county's GDP is over 60% internal consumer spending.

Knowing that, what do you think wrinkly old guys like Allan Greenspan or Ben Bernacke (or the equivalent wrinkly old dudes in your country) do when they notice a drop in consumer spending (i.e. the consumption of consumer goods in a nation)?

Do they,

A) Increase minimum wage to increase the spending cap of millions of their citizens to create an influx of consumption.

or

B) Lower interest rates to almost 0% so everyone can BORROW money and go into DEBT to buy the food and items they want/need in order to artificially create an influx of consumer consumption.

The answer in real life is, of course, (B) they lower interest rates so people borrow money to buy the homes, vehicles, and other items. The down side to this of course is the average debt of the average consumer in your nation synergetically rises in reaction to this.

While if they went the course of (A) and increased Wages to create an increase in Spending...it would not have been an artificial increase but a tangible increase.

It seems quite logical, yet anyone who speaks about increasing minimum wage in any nation is met with scorns of "yer a commie" or shit like that...even though it makes pretty ligit and economically structural formulaic sense.

Thus, we need to create a buzz word...I guess. Arguing to raise minimum wage in a nation should not be referred to in those terms any longer. It should be referred to as Maximizing Consumer Consumptional Power.

You think I'm joking? I'm not joking. Hey, if you go around town going "hey let's raise minimum wage!" you're gonna be called an ingrate, a commie, a bum, and a hundred other things. Yet, if you walk around town going "hey you guyz! I suggest our nation think outside the box here and attempt to Maximize it's Consumer Consumptional Power!!" you probably wouldn't even get one angry look.

Business buzz words are so ingrained in today's society that you might even be met with awe and wonder when you phrase it like that.

Conclusion

A large central core of humans abide by the religion of economy in today's dog-eat-rat world of worlds, and word on the street is...

...you gotta learn the language of business no matter how dumb and absurdly retarded it is.

Raise Consumptional POWER.

Great Moments in Literature: The Evolution of "Bob Backlund"

From Howdy-Doody to Criminally Insane to Loved and Accepted, the wonderful character development of Bob Backlund is one of literature's greatest moments.

Glossary of Terms to be Used in Article:

Howdy-Doody: This was a puppet that appeared on NBC in various forms from the 1940s to the 1960s. It was "a freckle-faced boy marionette with 49 freckles, one for each state of the union" who represented polite All-American boys around the great nation of the U.S. of A.

Criminally Insane: To display behavior so anti-social and violent that the only recourse is to either jail, hospitalize, or exile the individual from society.

Love and Acceptance: The concept of an individual being welcomed and appreciated in a group of multiple individuals of varying quantity.

The Cross-Faced Chicken-Wing: An unstoppable, unbreakable, and ultimately undefendable arm-lock submission hold that if you refuse to tap-out will leave you with a fractured limb.

Bob Backlund

Who's Bob Backlund? The Double B was a pro-wrestler who was famous from 1973-1984 and then made a reemergence and was doubly famous from 1994-1997. As everyone knows pro-wrestling is a shtick and not a competition of athletics. It is governed by a rule structure referred to in the business as "kayfabe" which replaces athletic skill competition with over-the-top choreographed drama. Most of the time this "drama" is fantastically and laughably retarded but in some cases it manages to create some interesting characters and satire.

One of the earliest precepts of "kayfabe" was to maximize drama by pitting "heroes" against "villains." The terms were refered to as "baby faces" versus "heels" where a babyface is a well-liked good looking person who the crowd relates to and the heels were foreign people with strange customs who the viewing audience could not relate to. Examples of "baby faces" are Hulk Hogan whilst examples of heels are guys like Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik.

In Backlund's first incarnation he was the aforementioned baby face character. Baby faces, naturally, are relative and dependent on their environment, meaning if the audience was Japanese then the baby face would be someone like Rikidozan and the heel would be someone like the Classy Freddie Blassie. In the case of Bob Backlund, he was operating in 1970s America and to pull off this role in that environment it required being a clean cut white "boy" who was constantly draped with American flags.

American flag jacket, American flag undies, American flag singlet. That's what you needed to be the "All American Boy." They should have gave him 49 freckles on his ass to symbolize the 49 states in the union then he'd be perfect.

Many probably know that America went through a cultural revolution of sorts during the 1960s and 1970s featuring all sorts of movements from civil rights to women's rights to aboriginal rights and many others. This "All American Boy" persona did not sell as well as it used to as Americans were becoming less religious, less nationalistic and thus more adults than "boys" so to speak.

click to enlarge

This was the case in other sports as well. A famous case in baseball was in the Yankees organization where Mickey Mantle was regarded as the "All American Boy." You probably don't know that Mickey didn't exactly like being known as a "boy" and he didn't like the howdy-doody persona one bit. In a famous 1973 letter (shown to the left) when asked to speak about his favorite Yankee moment, Mantle responded that it was that one time he got head from some chick in the bullpen in right field, and he sarcastically signed the letter as "The All American Boy."

Wrestling noticed a drop in sales due to their "All American Boy" champion not drawing the crowd's support as it once did. Backlund was made to lose the belt to the Iron Sheik (who in turn lost it to the body building hollywood rockstar 80s babyface Hulk Hogan) and by the year 1984 Backlund faded out of wrestling, into obscurity, into the the no-man's land of "has-beens."

The Hokey Dokies and Howdy Doodies time in the sun was over. These rinky-dinks weren't entertaining anyone and were quickly being regarded as ultra lame by the society they were meant to be accepted by.





Reemergence and Total Character 180

Backlund was out of wrestling for a full decade before making this appearance in the squared circle in 1994,

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFwtjILNN28)

I was about 11 years old in 1994 and I saw this bit as some kind of boring little tribute to some old dinosaurs from when wrestling was super boring and stupid. Then Backlund comes out and goes on some angry vicious diatribe culminating with him putting the poor old Arnold Skaaland in the dreaded chicken wing arm-lock! What the fuck is he doing!?

The All American Boy had lost his marbles. This wasn't a one time isolated appearance either, he went on a nation wide chicken-wing RAMPAGE in which he put announcers, managers, wrestlers, fans, old dudes, and just about everyone under the sun in the divine unbreakable arm-lock. No one was safe from this mentally unstable kook and his patented chicken wing.

All-American Bow-Tie?

He wore these silly bathrobes that looked like they were made in the 1930s...he looked like a relic from a past age that was dug up by an archeologist. He still wore the American flag on his person...but as a bow tie.

The bow tie is like the encapsulation of lame, no one can look tough or bad ass in a bow tie. Yes, Bob Backlund still represented America but now he was an encapsulation of everything that was wrong with it. He was a status-quo conservative backlash that wanted to place all of society in a cross-faced chicken-wing and caste it in place so it would never change. He basically wanted to put all of America into 1930s bathrobes and force them to read the dictionary 24 hours a day.

He displayed ultra-conservative views of morality and preached that society was a mess that needed intervention. He was like a fire-brand preacher spraying ludicrous invective on anyone who would approach him, observe:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVEyE9F-fGQ)

Bob is now the ugly side of America...he's a living embodiment of the John Birch Society. Hold up though, did you notice something in that clip above? That he's got the belt? Yeah, in 1994 Bob was once again the Champion. Yup, the megalomaniac chicken-wing madman was now the most popular wrestler on the circuit. I'll say this right now, Bob Backlund was my favorite wrestler in that era, hands down. He was entertaining as hell.

He's a criminally insane old man...but he's so darned likeable. It was so weird to watch him look at his hands (sorta like Ren used to on Ren and Stimpy) after the aftermath of a chicken wing atrocity just took place.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JdY9ZxyH64)
THANK GOD THE MACHO MAN WAS AT RINGSIDE TO SUBDUE THIS MANIAC!!

Iconoclast

Fast forward to 2012,

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58DwRdpluAs)

Look who rises up from the ashes to challenge today's heroes...it's a relic from the past. A beloved relic from the past who the fans cheer for and chant his name. Bob Backlund is an icon, maybe even a folk hero.

Is he an icon for being the rinky dinkin' howdy doodin' All America Boy? No. He's an icon for portraying a criminally insane status-quo obsessed homogenized pasteurized marauding psychopath who wants to put today's society into a permanent cross faced chicken wing.

In Conclusion

Not through patriotism did Backlund achieve love and acceptance from society...he achieved his L&A through good old fashioned satirical kookery.

So next time you see an old bastard in a bathrobe, slicking his hair back with Wild Root Cream Oil, kicking cats around, speaking in tongues, and putting random passersby into vintage submission holds...don't hate on him, just see him as a window into the past...a chilling past where everyone was crazy.

Montréal Expos Revival Taking Shape as The Cro Continues to Let 'Em Know

The Great Legend of Baseball Warren Cromartie and the president of the Chambre de Commerce du Montréal (Montreal Board of Trade) Michel Leblanc have just released the results of the Ernst and Young feasibility study commissioned by the Cro. 

The 62 page Document (this word is always capitilazed within the Document and it should be because it's a pretty slick Document) is available for the public to peruse at their leisure:

http://montrealbaseballproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Feasibility_Study.pdf

It's 10 pm eastern standard time, and I seem to have some leisure time right about now...so I'm going to do some perusing. Why not? In this following article we shall be highlighting key components within the Document in an attempt to convince nay-sayers of the return of the Expos that...Yes, Major League Baseball in Montréal is 100% viable.

Summary of the "Document"

The Ernst and Young study is broken down into sections. The main conclusion of the report is for Montréal to adopt the methods of the Minnesota region and what they did with the Twins.

"The centrally located, open-air stadium (in a similar climate) was essential to retaining the Twins in Minneapolis, and the stadium has been a success for the MLB, for the fans and for the city’s development."

The comparison of Minnesota and Montréal is a good comparison because the cities are fairly similar in many data metrics. The populations are fairly similar, the weather conditions are very similar, the average income per household is fairly similar, etc. They also cite the similarities between the cities extend to baseball as well. The Twins and Expos were both slated to be contracted in 2002 by Major League Baseball and both cities played in huge dome style stadiums with astro-turf.

The Twins, however, solved their stadium woes and became viable again by contesting contraction in all levels of court led by the Heroic Governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura (I like this guy, it was cool to see his name in the Document). Eventually they built a nice, new, baseball-style, non-cavern stadium and have been doing well ever since.

The statistics they provided for the construction and financing of Target Field in Minnesota are the following:

Construction start date: August 30, 2007

Date opened: January 4, 2010

Architect: Populous/Hammel, Green and Abrahamson

Capacity: 39,021

54 suites, 2 mega suites

Funding: Combination of Minnesota Ballpark Authority
(64%) and Minnesota Twins (36%)

Ballpark construction cost: $390M

City infrastructure cost: $155M


It states that the Minnesota stadium was linked to the downtown core in order to be a very accessible and chill area. They "constructed a large plaza in the outfield to connect the stadium to the downtown core" in order to syngergize the stadium with other local business (i.e. restaurants, pubs, boutiques, etc.).

When they talk about accessibility they are referring to how how easy it is to get to and out of the stadium. Target Field has 2 major freeways connecting to it, 20 busses passing by it, 7,000 parking spots, and hundreds of bike racks.

If you remember, Montréal's original stadium incarnation was buried way out of the downtown core at Pie-IX metro. They are suggesting to build a festive and accessible hub in the downtown core that will lure locals and tourists to the area which is a great idea.

They cite in a Minnesota based economic study,

"According to an independent economic impact analysis, Target Field also generated at least $169.3 million in economic activity in its first year of operation"

That's not baseball related, that's due to the area surrounding the stadium becoming prime real estate for opening enterprises and drawing investors to open businesses in the area.

The study found that the ideal division for the Montréal 2.0 team to play in is the AL East citing that,

"The new franchise should ideally play in the American League East – the team would have natural rivalries with several cities including Toronto, Boston and New York. The presence of these teams in Montreal would enhance the business case as well as the local television broadcasting rights deal – playing against more popular teams results in a larger television audience"

I hate the Designating Hitter rule, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, eh? I have to 100% agree with this assessment. Just like Canadiens vs. Bruins or Canadiens vs. Leafs...this set-up will maximize rivalry multipliers and get fans all rabid. Nothing works me up more than losing to Toronto at something. If we were in the same division, forget it, it will be mass hysteria bro...I'm talking mass hysteria, dude.

The Document covers data from a poll of a sample size of Montréal citizens and business leaders and the data is used to from projections (or you could call them prognostications too). These projections are pretty meaty numbers and would make quite of few entrepreneurs mouth water while reading them. Taking into account the demand and the average income per household they create a maximization algorithm for ticket pricing and the numbers look very good.

The study has a great section on economic impact for the region which has some pretty meaty figures in it too. Synergizing the construction phase, the operation of the club, and the tourism attracted to the city... it shows the positive economic impact of the return of baseball would be immediately noticeable. They provide figures for GDP generated and the jobs created by this venture. They conclude on this matter,

"In total, the new ballpark would support approximately 1,500 jobs annually in Quebec during the construction phase with the impact on GDP being approximately $130M annually – two thirds of this effect would be in Montreal

Operation of a new ballpark would support (annually) 825 direct jobs, plus 600 indirect and induced jobs, with an approximate contribution of $96M to Quebec GDP"

This Document is a pretty good read, if you're interested in data and baseball and things like that (like me) then you should probably peruse it.


Common Rebuttals to Nay-Sayers

Some of the most frequent statements by nay-sayers countering the viability of Montréal will likely be of the following nature. One common point that will be brought up is something along the lines of,

"It's cold in Montréal...how can they play in an open air stadium without a roof?"

It is stated that Minnesota has a very similar climate to Montréal and the study presents these factoids on the matter,

Average Montreal Temperature during Baseball Season: 15.5 C
Average Minnesota Temperature during Baseball Season: 16.2 C

Look, it's pretty hot here in the summer during baseball season. Yeah in April and October it's going to be cold but less than one degree celcigrade isn't going to be the end of anyone's world.

The Document insists that roofed or retractable-roofed stadium is not needed. The production costs are almost cut by a third by using an open-air model as opposed to a roofed model and the drawbacks to being open air (even in a colder climate) seem to be little if not none.

Nextly, the BIGGEST issue from nay-sayers is going to be that that study suggests the provincial government put up 300 million for building the stadium. Everyone's gonna be all,

"But the bridges are broken! How can you even think of putting money into a ball park!?"

First of all bridges fall under the jurisdiction of the federal government of Canada. It's federal tax dollars that are used to alter infrastructure or to repair bridges. Bridges are not the jurisdiction of the provincial government.

Secondly, look, this is a pretty big business and businesses are taxed by the government. This enterprise will generate quite a lot of tax revenue. How much? The Document projects the following data,

"The government’s share of costs would be recouped through direct tax payments generated in the construction phase ($55.6M) and during each year of operation ($23M annually), as well as by dedicating sales taxes generated annually by stadium activities ($18M) and income tax on part of players’ salaries ($10M)"

The minimum tax they can collect off this in a construction year is 55.6 Million and during an operational year they would get a minimum of 51 Million per year. You don't need to be a genius or a Master Cross Multiplier to figure out how quickly they will recoup the money on their investment. Three hundred divided by and average of 53 million is about six years. Following the sixth year all the 50+ million in tax revenue becomes 100% profit for the government.

The Document even lists measures in the case the provincial government refuses to put in any money (even though they will benefit over 50 million per year from this venture) and also lists several faster methods for the government to recoup its initial investment in the case that it makes a huge deal about making the capital investment back faster than six years. They have all their bases covered ok? These guys are pros.

Conclusion

Mr. Cromartie concluded the press conference today stating that,

"Baseball is a game of history and numbers. Montréal has the history and now Montréal has the numbers."

I made an amateurish projection piece in this blog once (Speculation/Prognostications), but this data in the Ernst and Young report is not speculations...this is HARD DATA. Montréal has legit numbers now that should make both the business community here and MLB take notice.

Mr. Cromartie proceeded to call out to the business community and implored for a "champion" to step up to the plate and make history. Hopefully somebody or a combination of sombodies heeds the call.

Montréal? We got the history, we got the numbers...hey, we got the food, we got the ladies, we got the fresh beats, we got the jams, we got the style....hey, we got it all....we GOT THE TOOLS AND WE GOT THE TALENT!!!!

Rock the Hall 3

When the snow starts falling that means the Hall of Fame voting season is about to get under way. It's becoming sort of a winter tradition to promote Timmy Raines for the Hall of Fame.

2011 piece) The Hall of Fame is Incomplete without Tim Raines in it

2012 piece) On Tim Raines and the Hall of Fame (again) 

This year we're going to focus on some "what if" projections to showcase some flashy numbers. I love projecting using statistics ever since I first learned about it. You know that cross-multiplying business? I love that...I really honestly enjoy cross-multiplying. I cross multiply like a mad man sometimes. I cross multiply like a bat outta hell and don't even think twice about it. I like taking data of past trends to project future trends...it's really really fun. You can use it to quantify and project all kinds of stuff too not just baseball statistics.

Cross Multiplication

Alrighty, so in this year's traditional Tim Raines for Hall of Fame article, we shall take it simple and take two events from the past and apply cross multiplication to produce "what-if" scenarios.

First off, let's take a nice past event, like the 1981 season, which for Expos fans is like THE season of seasons. Here's Rock's stat line from the 1981 campaign:

Plate Appearances: 363
Hits: 95
Walks: 45
Stolen Bases: 71
Caught Stealin': 11

As many of you know, the 1981 Major League baseball campaign was a strike shortened due to labor disputes and it was not a standard 162 game season. In a standard season players, and in this case a leadoff batter, can get up to 700+ plate appearances. You know where I'm going with this right? If he stole 71 bases in 363 plate appearances...then how many would he have stole if the season was a standard 162 game season instead of a shortened one?

Enter now my homie...Mr. Cross Multiplication,

71 over 363...over a nice round number such as 700 would give us...137.

If he continued at that pace, the Rock would have stole 137 bases in 1981. That's 7 more than the 130 Rickey Henderson stole in 1982 which is the most all time. If the strike never happened Rock could have been the single season stolen base champion, it is very conceivable and highly plausible.

The second data set we shall take is the 1987 MLB campaign. The Rock's plate appearances were hindered in this season due to the collusion against free agents conspired against the players by the owners (see: 1987 collusion). He missed a full month of games due to the collusion and produced these numbers in that time:

Games: 139
Plate Appearances: 627
Runs: 123
Hits: 175
Walks: 90
Homers: 18
Steals: 50
Catched Stealin': 5

Okay let's get some numbers to work with...

1. 162 (games in standard season) - 139 =  23
2. Cross multiply PA with G and add 23 games worth would give us...103 extra PA to total 730.

Okay...so what would these numbers have been in a 730 PA season? Once again using our best friend cross multiplication, the hypothetical results are:

Games: 162
Plate Appearances: 730
Runs: 143
Hits: 203
Walks:  104
Homers: 21
Steals: 58
Catched Stealin': 5

Yeah...143 runs scored.

Without the collusion, Raines could have conceivably and very plausibly scored more than 140 runs in 1987...which is quite a lot. To me runs are what wins games, it doesn't matter to me if a player crossed the plate from a homerun or because he was wicked fast at getting around the bases. I know to most fans homeruns are the coolest thing ever and all but a run is a run and someone who can score that many runs in a year is pretty amazing.

For people or voters who think homeruns are the only important thing in baseball this projection also shows that Raines could have surpassed the arbitrary mark of 20 homers in a season as well. He had decent power too if that's what you want.

Conclusion

Just a short and brief Raines for Hall of Fame article this year. If you're a Hall of Fame voter some of these projection stats may stand out to you though. Without the strike of 1981 or the collusion of 1987 some pretty impressive stats may have landed in the columns of Tim Raines' baseball card.

137 Stolen Bases in 1981
143 Runs Scored  in 1987

Pretty intense if you ask me.

A Small Retraction Concerning Statements about Ernest

In regards to my short dissertation on Ernest the other day, I would like to make a glaring and sweeping retraction.

Article in Question: The Greatest Debate Still Rages On...

I concluded by suggesting that the Ernest character should be revived. Yet, after looking at wannabe Ernests attempt to emulate and employ the Ernest on the internet...I cannot honorably stand beside that conclusion any longer.

Example of a Pseudo-Ernest:

Ok, No. No, no, no, no, no. This man is not Ernest. This is an obvious disgrace.

I've come to the realization that there Can Only be One....Jim Varney is the only Ernest...I hereby retract my conclusion in the previous article, for it was wrong.

I admit, I was not correct, not in the least with that assessment. I feel a great deal of shame over the failure of my analytic abilities.

My new stance on the question is as so...

Let Sleeping Ernests Lie.